what a j0ke.

i need a fightbuddy, which is like a fuckbuddy but instead of banging you fight. no strings attached just text me lemme know when it’s going down 

guys always wanna be your fightbuddy but they never want to really commit. I need a man who’ll really be my rival. dedicate his WHOLE life to fighting me. I’m not here for this halfway bullshit.

You know, in a horror movie, everyone always responds with a flight response when they see the monster. But that’s not the only thing that happens when people get scared. I want to see someone choose the fight response. I want to see a character turn around to see the killer right there, scream in terror, and start punching them in the face repeatedly.

Self care is chugging a fifth of watermelon vodka and smoking 18 cigarettes at once and fighting your demons in the parking lot of your friends apartment with a wii remote after being crowned Beerio Cart champion for the fifth party in a row

i’m not sleepy in a cute way but in a chronic depression and insomnia way