it's half biology...

i would LOVE to this is one of my favourite things forever. i <3 sex after trauma. for anyone reading this, this drabble is intended in the context of platonic sex/friends being sexually intimate/other nonromantic context. interpret it how you want of course, but that is how we roll on this blog.

...

they're both nervous. whumpee is nervous, but caretaker is nervous, too. they want this to be... good. to be safe.

"it's okay if you have to stop," caretaker says. their voice is soft and warm. there's only a dim lamp on in the room, and they're in caretaker's bed, dressed in their pajamas. that felt like a silly way to do this, but it makes sense. they're comfortable, it's loose clothing, but they're not jumping straight to being fully naked. they're taking it slow. that's the plan. take it slow. "i just- you can always say stop. that's always okay."

whumpee is quiet at first and nerves climb higher in caretaker's throat. was that too patronizing? did it feel true enough? did they fuck up the wording, did it- was it-

"you can, too," is what whumpee finally says. "say no, i mean. it's okay if you want to stop."

caretaker looks at them sharply, abruptly worried that it seems like they don't actually want to be here, that shame and guilt is making whumpee feel like a horrible burden. it wouldn't be the first time. but that's... what's on their face isn't that. it's not guilt, or prickly defensiveness, or... it's warmth. it's an awkward, shy kind of earnestness, because- oh. right. they just... they meant that. they want caretaker to know that they can stop, too. it's- it's really sweet, is what it is.

"yeah," caretaker breathes, reaching over and taking whumpee's hand. they squeeze tight, get a tight squeeze back. they're close, and the sudden eye contact, sudden closeness, is making their skin feel hot, especially between their legs. "yeah. anyone gets to stop. any time. ground rule."

they smile at each other. it's earnest, a bit embarrassed, a little silly. it's time.

yes, YES.

the first thing that came to mind is some kind of dinner party or restaurant. whumper has their hand in whumpee's lap, up their skirt or down their pants or even groping them over their clothes. it's subtle but it's not that subtle. people are definitely noticing. they're glancing over, doing a double take, and looking quickly away.

some of them are snickering to each other or suppressing embarrassed grins. some of them look disgusted, their faces contorting in horrified sneers.

this is one of my FAVE things in a sexual assault whump scenario. i love that so much. whumpee is so out of it that they're just... they're just relieved. they just feel safe and cared for. protected. and the sudden shift from the terror and confusion and violation to another presence, maybe a voice they know, a voice their mind latches onto as safe and familiar.

remembering it later is awful. they're so ashamed, they're horrified at what caretaker saw, the way caretaker had to do everything for them. had to dress them again, cover them. whumpee didn't even have the wherewithal to know in the moment that they should be ashamed. that they should be covering themself, that they should be aware of what caretaker is doing, is seeing.