Don't listen to him.

read the first sentence and was like what did i even do and then i read the rest and im like yea you know what i WOULD BENEFIFT from being exploded a little bit. you're so right

"Diversity of opinion" but the opinions are "We should use a chainsaw to rescue a cat from a tree" and "We should trap more cats on the tree and then set it on fire"

To clarify: If those are your only options (and they often are) it's your moral imperative to choose the chainsaw.

Fuck this rhetoric. You are not obligated to choose the chainsaw. Go create a better solution.

getting kicked off love island for just swimming in the pool and not talking to anyone

you are not immune to inventing an arbitrary set of rules that only you have to adhere to

so i think the solution is to give dachshunds a third pair of legs right in the middle

unfortunately i could never be nonchalant because i am not well in the head and also my soul is on fire

(flirting) i could be your problem

do you ever feel yourself fail a charisma check in real time