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I’m actually so irritated rn and idk why I hope I blow up

I think I’m bipolar

I want more friends on here actually no I need more Instagram mutuals who get me pls pls 😕😕😕

I’m actually done with literally everything I’m so confused !!!!! 🤣🥸🥸🥸🥸

Nvm I will have a fine future.

I am the worst person to ever exist I don’t care what anyone else believes actually most people don’t believe I’m evil but i genuinely am and I don’t know why nobody else can see it I’m actually done I wish I could restart my life and never interact with anyone ever because i genuinely ruin peoples lives in ways they don’t even realise but they eventually will realise I’m worse than my parents actually I’m going to sleep because I’ve had enough of tonight and actually I probably won’t be able to sleep because I think I’m going to vomit and I’m evil and I don’t know what to do I’m sorry I think I’ll watch a really happy movie instead I wish everyone who loved me loved someone better because I will never be better so I don’t know why people love me or interact with me there is nothing in me worth loving I am genuinely a lost cause and I’m going to overdose at some point in my life because I can’t deal with anything I avoid everything so once I get older and real fucking problems come my way I know I won’t be able to handle them I know I’ll turn to drugs or alcohol and be homeless begging for money because that’s what I’ve always believed and I don’t see a different future for myself other than no future at all I wish I could see things differently and I really really really fucking hope my future is different than what I’ve always believed it will be but I just don’t know I really can’t do anything I don’t know what I’m supposed to do I’m not smart I’ve never been smart I don’t want to be anything realistic I’m not pretty I’m not determined or motivated to do anything so I don’t know I just don’t know

Where are my freeprints

Anyone wanna swap brains

My throat is really sore

I’m blaming Phoebe Bridgers for everything

Happy pride month though ig

Should i genuinely just disappear and never speak to anyone again and isolate myself forever so I’m never capable of hurting anyone ever because why is that all I can do to literally everyone I don’t know how to be a friend or a girlfriend or anything to anyone the only thing I know how to be is alone I think I’m genuinely destined to be that way forever but then why do I feel so much it doesn’t make sense and I feel so cruel but I don’t mean to be i don’t know what to do i genuinely don’t know I’m trying to work through it but it’s really fucking difficult and I don’t know I don’t even understand how my brain works like I don’t understand most things so how am I supposed to fix everything wrong with me idk idk idk idk idk i genuinely wish I could just kms but I can’t even succeed at that either LOLLLLLLLLLLLLL🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👽🤣👽🤣👽🤣👽🤣👽🤣👽🤣👽🤣👽👽🤣🤣👽👽🤣👽🤣🤣

Why do I feel so much love and crave it in return then want to be alone forever please someone with experience give me good advice I can’t take this anymore 🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩

I can’t do anything but I hope I learn how to someday

Ok I know why I tend to avoid things but I can’t stop thinking about what happened like two weeks ago with my dad when he just drank too much and so much screaming happened and I had to follow him outside where I hugged and begged him to stop drinking and he was just sobbing and telling me he doesn’t want to live and stuff and the whole thing just kind of gave me flashbacks to my childhood because things like that used to happen so often then but a night like that one hasn’t happened in years and like after we went back inside, that was it. Nobody has mentioned anything about it since then and idk I think I’m so used to that. Just such meaningful words from me said then having to move on from it while also still thinking about them and wanting to talk about it more but I’ve learned that saying things wont make anything change so I’ve come to realise there’s no point in saying anything about how I feel about everything. idk I feel like it all happened for a reason idk I sound psychotic but genuinely since then I’ve just realised so much about myself and my tendencies to avoid things or say nothing because i think its safer that way but it’s really not. I’m slowly starting to learn that, because there’s a world outside of this house but I’ve let myself believe the whole world is like this house idk that’s really stupid but I just think I’m coming to the realisation that not everyone is like my parents, people can listen to me and I can tell people things, I don’t have to keep everything to myself just because i was raised to believe it’s safer. Maybe I’m realising that because of who I was raised by. Idkkkkkkkkk🛸🛸🛸🛸🛸🛸🛸🛸🛸🛸🛸🛸🛸🛸