Dante Didn't Do That™ Actually

"The thing that inspired me was the story of how some Russian engineers had pierced the vault of Hell that was underneath the earth. [. . .] But then, when the story reported that there was an audio recording of it... well, that's me all over. Like these days it would be like a shaky video, and that's fine and Blair Witch-y, you know what I mean, but nah, nah. An audio recording of Hell. I just loved the idea that these engineers who were working on an oil rig in Siberia, they pierce the vault of Hell, they hear the screams of the damned, they say 'Does anybody have a tape recorder? This is pretty wild down here.' You know? So I read that story, and of course there's a longer story explaining what it actually was, but I'm not interested in a longer story. I'm interested in what happened when the Russian engineers pierced the vault of Hell. "

i hope i cut myself shaving tomorrow