⭒˚⋆♫𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁-𝙻𝙾𝚁𝙳 ♪⋆

why'd you kill the music?

lost, [ NAME ], we're lost.

oh, right, that's where we're going. i lost track like 200 miles ago.

it doesn't make you any less of a man.

just get us to [ LOCATION ] before i roll my eyes out of my head.

were there any directions on the flyer?

hey, eyes on the road!

what? no, no, that wasn't a bear.

[ NAME ], are you serious?

i really effed this car up.

the sooner we get out of here, the better.

just imagine yourself curled up by a big old space heater.

anywhere's better than here.

my god, [ NAME ], hurry up!

i heard something, okay? i wanna check it out.

hey hey hey, what's wrong? is everything alright?

it's the woods, there's a lot of stuff out there, it's easy to freak yourself out.

we're okay. we're safe in the car.

you wanna tell me what happened here?

it was so dark, and it happened so fast.

this is my first cop, like, ever.

what in the hell are you doing all the way out here this late at night?

one of us kind of oversold our navigation skills and got us completely lost.

you're not gonna make it to [ LOCATION ], not tonight.

let's hit the road, shall we?

i have like twenty years before i'm a "ma'am."

[ NAME ], don't be a dick.

what doesn't kill you will make you stronger.

bring some tools so we can break the lock!

hey ... it's been kind of a night, you know?

you must be exhausted, i know i am.

there's no need to worry, i'm here to help you.

it's exciting, yes, and ... terrifying.

if you don't help me, how can i help you? we're supposed to be friends.

it's like a romanci-pocalypse.

you never know, the universe has a way of working these things out.

so she dumped your ass, huh?

you've heard of spacial awareness before, right?

spacial awareness is for nerds.

you're a bad person!

okay, really? locking me out?

one, it wasn't my idea — and two, it was really funny.

this place needs a serious overhaul.

you were telling me how you totally have a thing for [ NAME ].

uhhh, "sexy", huh?

"likes it", check, "totally not in denial", check.

the fumes of jealousy are just STIFLING over here.

you should've siezed the moment.

not gonna miss you, [ NAME ].

one more night in the great outdoors might actually kill me.

i haven't killed you, and you're still pretty pathetic.

yes, that would make you a total asshole.

one more night with [ NAME ] wouldn't make a difference, trust me.

you should save it for emergencies only. unless ... is being dumped an emergency?

i don't even know how to respond to that.

let's away from this mosquito-infested backwoods dump.

let's shape our way through this crappy lock.

i won't tell if you won't tell.

have you ever seen a bear in these woods?

oh my god, relax, it's not like we killed someone.

how are you so ... annoying? confident?

in a way, faking it is just being yourself. but louder.

you never know unless you put yourself out there.

e-mail? are you ninety-three?

scenic route? one last victory lap?

i provide very important and educational lifestyle advice.

we should probably ... you know, get back.

does nobody have phone chargers anymore?

oh my god, you are so childish.

it's just this campfire story for kids.

come on, that's like, super unchill.

five minutes? like, five minutes. that's all i need.

i try not to dwell on the past.

i think there's something wrong with the engine.

we'll just spend one more night here.

no, no! just ... stop, let me think!

who cares what [ NAME ] told us to do?

p-a-r-t- why the fuck not?

i go where my people need me.

just say you're in, come on. one last night.

someone's gotta give a shit.

you know what? i don't care what you guys do.

[ NAME ], come on, wait!

i was hoping you'd come back.

where i'm from, we look out for each other.

you'd better be going, it's still early.

for the record, your analogies are very hurtful.

i like a man who's good with his hands.

if i was a beer, where would i hide ...

how am i just noticing how super lame you are?

you think this is supposed to be funny?

moment's gone, but not forgotten.

hold that — the door will latch otherwise.

so, uh ... you're really gonna keep the gun, huh?

your wit knows no bounds.

that's weird, i thought ... i thought i heard someone.

you hear that? is that a trap door?

secret ... sex ... dungeon.

alright, well, it looks like a pit of eternal darkness.

oh my god, [ NAME ], you won't believe this ... it's ... nothing.

it's pretty spooky down here, and it smells very unnatural, so...

ooh, that's a nice chair, i could get used to this.

what if what's on the menu tonight ... is us?

well, we know where the gun is if we need it.

so, got anything going on when you get back home?

these are just— they're probably just ... trail cameras.

why go through all the trouble of hiding this room?

it's not exactly secret, is it? just kinda ... hidden by stuff.

hey, you just admitted it's a secret lair.

are you sure this is safe?

what, are you scared?

sometimes i just try to like ... let it happen, y'know?

this way i can do whatever i want and not feel bad about it.

i guess that is kind of freeing ... in a sociopathic kind of way.

this view is just ... wow.

you DON'T think that's weird?

i just realized we may never see each other again after tonight.

speaking of setting the mood, i have work to do.

playlists aren't gonna make themselves.

big jokes take big sacrifices.

woah, woah, woah, where did that gun come from?

guns are no joke, dipshit.

i guess you don't really want them then, huh?

[ NAME ], hand me that gun. now.

the main party isn't gonna die just cause you have a little side quest.

that's cause you've never shot before.

do not move a muscle, or touch this gun, until i get back.

you'll have it when i say you'll have it.

two things: remember the spread, remember the recoil.

disqualified for being a dumbass.

blam! you thought this was over?

okay! new idea: party game.

let's make some memories.

how about ... the ultimate game of secrets and lies: truth or dare?

[ NAME ] — truth or dare?

have you ever slept with anyone?

dare, gimme what you've got.

your dare comes with a choice.

always happy to please.

you and [ NAME ] go way back, right?

uh ... i don't know if this is a good idea ...

[ NAME ], seriously?

hey, i'm nobody's girlfriend.

[ NAME ], grow up.

i think that game got a little intense for me.

i was just playing along.

did you hear that? ... should we look?

i guess you found me, then.

sneaking down here was more fun when we thought we could get caught, huh?

i thought we agreed that this ... us –? was just supposed to be summer fun.

you really love fucking with me, huh?

lighten up, sourpuss, please.

fine, you can stand here sulking, or you can go grab us some towels.

"summer fun", right? well, apparently summer isn't quite over yet.

you really know how to talk to a girl, don't you?

you can't just pretend like it didn't happen.

that was some mighty fine social disruption, there.

who do you think is gonna make the first move?

if by "beast" you mean some mild-mannered baby deer.

Her head tilted back, foot stomped, shoulders swayed back and forth, and she groaned LOUDLY. Darcy held her hands up as if to clutch at something but it was just thin air and her frustration.

"Ugh you're soooo!!!! UGH!!!"

She yanked it back and held out her hand for the earbuds to be returned as well.

"Then fine, you don't have to use it. Jesus christ on a pogo stick, you're worse than my boomer-ass dad, and that's almost impossible, bro."

Alright, so maybe Darcy was being a little mean. Maybe patience was not her strongest virtue and MAYBE she was getting hangry because if the loud gurgle that sounded off wasn't her stomach then where did that noise even come from??

It almost surprised her with how loud it was, "oh, god, that was totally my stomach... didn't eat breakfast."

There was a pause, a beat of silence where she appeared to be chewing on a thought real hard. It wasn't that she disliked him, it was more that she hardly knew him and somehow the duty of catching him up to speed on certain things was suddenly HER duty. He probably didn't ask for it and she didn't suggest it, but everyone and their freaking moms seemed to think they would get along like a house on fire.

Whatever the fuck that meant.

"Okay, rude! Calling me old because I know cassettes sound better than that thing is so uncalled for and—" He stopped whatever witticism he'd been about to say when Darcy's stomach gurgled. He snickered and gave her a knowing, almost impressed look.

Peter opened his mouth to counter with a quip before the suggestion really sank in. He was already salivating at the idea of good ole Earth food. He'd missed cheese soo bad!