Agreed and for many reasons.
Onest (1st) of all, people are essentially using ātwinkā as a slur these days because they canāt openly express their true feelings about gay men who do not meet artificial gendered standards. Merlin being a twink is not a source of comedy, people just believe that āeffeminateā men are a safe target to degrade (since they subconsciously believe women are less-than, and have classed him closer to woman than man). Men are not defined by physical strength, and women are not defined by weakness. Women can be very muscular, and men can be very lacking in musculature, so we understand that these standards are artificial expectations for women and men, and that we judge people harshly when these expectations are not met as assigned. This is a major contributing factor in fandomās (mis)treatment of Merlin.
Twoth (2th), the show would have no conflict if Merlin was not conflicted about these choices. And we see that conflict arise in each and every situation where fandom reduces Merlin down to his final choice.
Merlin very notably does not have the heart (or rather, lack the heart) to kill Mordred by his own hand, because Mordred is still an innocent in his eyes, and one who has yet to do anything where Merlin must act purely in defense. Merlin states outright that he likes Mordred, but simply cannot ignore the prophetic vision he was shown by the Druid seer (or Kilgharrahās warnings, though these seem to take on a secondary supportive role in season 5). Merlin, again, cannot summon the strength to kill Mordred by his own hand and instead leaves him to the mercy of the Disir and even Morgana.
I personally believe this is a flawed rationale on Merlinās part, as we have seen a Druid boyās ghost return specifically with the intent to kill Arthur to avenge the Druids wrongfully killed in a raid on his village (himself included). Killing Mordred would not actually prevent the prophecy from unfolding, but I digress. The futility of changing what is foretold is ultimately the main theme when it comes to Merlinās storyline.
Merlin denies the demands made of him (namely letting Mordred and Morgana die) for as long as he can. It is only when Morganaās involvement in the fever curse (or, rather, its reliance on her life force) is revealed in 2x12 that Merlin feels he has no other option but to kill her. Even then, he attempts to avoid doing so by his own hand by leaving her to the Knights of Medhir (an act of self-preservation, arguably self-centered but still stands as proof of his moral dilemma) and only resigns himself to poisoning her when he runs out of time to find another way to end the curse. Even after he poisons her, he finds another way to both end the curse and spare Morganaās life by negotiating with Morgause.
These two events alone are substantial characterizing moments that show explicitly, if not outright verbally and textually, that Merlinās decisions are born of conflict. He does not kill unrepentantly as Uther, Arthur, and Morgana (all classist royals) often do: he takes all action into deep consideration, placing him firmly in the indecisive tragic hero archetype (think Hamlet). And it is not only in regard to Mordred and Morgana that Merlin shows this hesitation. It is a consistent trait of his portrayed in nearly every episode of the show (65 total), and especially so in season 1, where his moral dilemmas present the conflict of the main plot. Take 1x10 as a prime example of Merlin trying to discern which good to prioritize: the greater good of all of Albion via the prophecy of Arthurās reign, or the ālesserā good of saving his home village? Merlinās character is defined by hesitation as much as heās defined by his impulses.
And thirst (3st) of all, Merlin does not actually place Arthur himself above the greater good. Rather, he conflates Arthur with the greater good. This is made explicit in the prophecies as told by Kilgharrah in 1x01, and throughout the series. The matter is complicated by Merlinās desire for a friendship with Arthur, but at the heart of it all is Merlinās belief that Arthur will bring about this greater good for all people across Albion. To romanticize the idea of Merlin being a class traitor to his core in the midst of a genocide targeting his people, and to interpret and portray this concept as a beautiful act of love instead of a horribly debilitating flaw, is a symptom of apathy among fans towards the oppressed. Many fans do indeed value Arthur himself above the greater good and project these values onto Merlin himself, when we know for a fact that Merlin is willing to lose a friend (see: Morgana) for the greater good. If the prophecies had presented Arthur as the threat to the greater good, then Merlin would have had to summon the strength to depose of him, too. The only reason the prophecies did not portray Arthur in the way they portrayed Morgana is because he placed Guinevere on the throne, and she was able to build peace between the five kingdoms and magical peoples/creatures after Arthurās death. Her acceptance of Merlin in 5x13 stands as an acceptance of all magical peoples, which is exactly why Kilgharrah states that Merlin did not fail. The prophecies did come to pass, and through Arthurās ascension to king, but it was not by Arthurās hand alone that the Golden Age was fulfilled. It was Guinevere all along.
Case in point, Merlin does not take lives on a whim, he cares deeply for all life and values it greatly ā even the lives of the animals they hunt, and most certainly for his people who are hunted by Arthur and Utherās forces. Merlin is forced to choose between a greater and lesser evil episodically, which gives a false impression of being trigger-happy, when in reality he is struggling with each and every trolley problem that comes his way.