GUS

As aggressive as I am in getting something I know in my heart and in my guts that I want, if it's not meant to be, I'll back off. Maybe in this lifetime we are really not meant to be together, and you'll remain the biggest what if of my life. We both took the risk but not in the same time, thus here we are. Faith is playful that way, maybe there's a purpose. All I know is, you are the type of person that deserves to be loved and taken care of. I wish you nothing but happiness, because you really deserve it. Maybe in another lifetime, I can call you mine. And I can give you all of the love I have. For now, in this lifetime, please be happy. -Gus

You can never really fully unlove a person that once brought you joy and stability in life. The person you've spent years with building your dreams together from scratch. That sucks. As I heal, and slowly rebuild myself, I realized that even though I am an emphatic person who doesn't want to hold any grudges, I really cannot forgive you for the hurt that you've caused me. 1. I cannot forgive the way that you twisted your fucked up action of being aggressive in not showing what was on your mobile that day and somehow blaming me for your bad shit crazy behavior. 2. I cannot forgive the way you somehow blamed the break up with me when honest to God even your family as a witness I did nothing but to love and take care of you, support and put you first. 3. I cannot forgive that just 2 weeks after the break up, you spent a few days with another woman in an airbnb hiding from your family, you even brought the woman to our "home". 4. I cannot forgive that you chose to throw our years and dreams together just like that. 5. I cannot forgive that you left me home, crying my eyes out day and night while you spend your nights with the woman. 6. I cannot forgive that for some reason, you really don't see what is wrong with the decisions and actions you made and always put the blame in me. 7. I cannot forgive that fresh from break up, you show me those fucking tulips (ugly as fuck) given to you by that woman with a big grin at your face, even posting it on social media, letting everyone assume that it was from me. At this point you don't want anybody to know what you've done. 8. The most unforgivable thing that you did, is laying your hands on me out of your anger because of basically what you did that you desperately want to hide. Of course people will notice. And you expect them to be stupid enough to not to know anything. You don't know this but your mom immediately noticed your fucking action when you brought that woman along to pick up your sister. Yet you are too stupidly blind to see what fuck ups you did. Many has happened, at this point instead of anger I feel disappointment towards you. At the end I saw you true color. You are the biggest scar in my heart

I hated that quote. As a person who strive to do anything and everything I can to resolve an issue or achieve a goal this quote sucks. It's like you do not have any other choice, you just have to give up. And as destiny? coincidence? God? would allow it, I'll be put to my place, ego humbled, and forced to accept that sometimes even if we did everything even if we gave our best, some situations are really beyond our control. No amount of anger, crying and begging can change the fact that you really don't have any other choice but to raise the white flag and move on. For the sake of my sanity and peace, I've embraced it. "It is, what it is". at the end of the day you really don't have a say or choice on the matter. Either you spiral down or lick your wound and go on your way. Move forward even if it hurts, even if it is against your will, even if it breaks your heart. This is normal for us human, pain and weakness makes us human. And with each day, with each step, with each acceptance you'll find yourself in peace, a bit happier, and unexpected surprises come your way. You meet good people discover new joys in life. It's a bit weird to even rediscover myself. Who I am, what I like, letting go makes us free in a sense.

Your Gus kinda thing, J

Whatever the situation is, even if time came that by miracle I did not say a word and just agreed with everything, know that my silence means the pain I am truly willing to endure to show how much I love you.

I am just tired.

Today, a part of me died.

Now I only see a tired lonely eyes, and I am not sure If I am still the one who can ignite the sparks of your love.

Bakit mo ako binitawan...

:(

That feeling when you've given everything yet it's still not enough.

It's a struggle. But we really don't have a choice, life is a gift and we must continue.

Enemies?