hospital white light and a sheet to hide my face, i grip

with cut off hands the metal bars

(your figure lingers in my burning eyelids)

going under, i can never come down

10 inch needles in all accute points

my biology a lobotomy i have

the biggest smile,

the dead set eyes upon the light nothing is

as you remember it

she stays somewhere above my head, 

patron saint of fucking idiots

and she cries crystal drops they touch my skin i bleed

i wait for them with my tongue ready

when i couldnt learn my name i knew

nourished with black wine and then released.

i live alone now, ive produced a cock, fingernails,

and tits. on dirty floors crawling, i cook with my

blood, a proper madness, a torn apart crown and

a pack of cigarettes, i run.

everything outside is a wood, is a forest, is as

dark as that first inside.

the inside is too bright.

on my hands and knees, and after ive washed the

slick off my hair, my mouth opens, beast, my

mouth makes noise, makes a noise,

i am a liar.

the thing that looks human but is not is standing

on a rock, very far from here, the thing that looks

human is standing on a rock alone. for it,

everything outside is a sip, is a water, water.

the thing that looks human but is not looks at me.

thats my mother. i crawl.

i cook with my period blood and wine,

for taste,

for nourishment.

ξυπναω ενα μηνα στο σκοταδι. γονατισμενη σε κεντρικο δρομο της θεσσαλονικης τους εκληπαρω να με κοιταξουν μα ποτε δεν θα το κανουν οποτε παιρνω ταξι και  αδιαζω την τσαντα μου στο καθισμα και την αφηνω εκει και σημερα θα κοιμηθω στον καναπε γυμνη υγρη θολη οι κατσαριδες θα ερθουν να με σκεπασουν οταν κρυωσω.

crawwwling shhh        aking blue, bruised, blood. yellow eyes staring back at me, it means nothing to me, you know it gets worse. im leaking through my panties,  little baby throwing up bile Black lines, Dead limbs, there’s dead hair everywhere, under my skin my soberness hurts, sick fake clarity im sweet burning, twisting.

(i met a girl and she told me about her emptiness, i think i have something extra, we both touched our chest, some secret, empty promise)

where does the cold come from? sinking, dripping wet + raining you say theres no more sun but (i just need a fucking cigarette)