ཐི ₍ᐢ. ̞.ᐢ₎ ཋྀ

so cool when i say hi to a cat and they do a big stretch like i dont think that has anything to do with the words i just said to you i said but i think its awesome that you got long

the thing about job searching is i see all these job postings and im like i dont wanna do any of this for any of you

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

at some point in your life you will be bringing sugar and butter to boil for toffee and you will think “it hasn’t thickened enough.” that is the devil talking. the toffee needs to cool before it can set. this is how you end up with toffee that will annihilate your mouth. learn from this folly.

@crazysodomite

i'm getting the sense some of you are not actually forklift certified.

well damn . egg on my face

Update: I took a certification class in shipboard Material Handling Equipment at my federal job. *now* I'm forklift certified, but only on ships and piers and only for this company, but also rated to forklift explosives and hazardous materials. Also I'm a woman now.

I should be allowed to explode racists at my job. You think I'm safe to talk like that to? Nope. You're exploded. May your burnt guts serve as a warning to everyone else who pulls that shit

[cornish tin miner from 3000 years ago]: my deposits may have played a key part in the advances of sophisticated kingdoms and states more than 4,000km (2,485 miles) away. #myDeposits.

being myself performatively