werewolf boyfriend

i like how at five guys they're like oh you want one burger okay "ONE LITTLE BURGER" and then the guy cooking the burger is like "ONE LITTLE BURGER FOR BABY FAGGOTS THAT CAN ONLY HANDLE ONE PATTY COMING UP" and then if you can't finish it they make you wear a maid costume and handcuff you to the sink in the men's bathroom

Are … are the carnists ok??

yeah i dont work at a carnival or anything but im good im okay i appreciate you asking yo

oh okay pretty common mistake no problem dude but yeah i don't even really go to carnivals or anything even as an attendee

Hi! Thank you for reaching out to me about your decision. While I am disappointed that I will not be considered for a position at your company, I am grateful for the opportunity, and I do hope you'll keep my resume on file in case another position becomes available. Attached please find pictures of my penis And scrotum shortly after self-mutilation with a dull pocketknife. Thank you for your time and I look forward to any future correspondence.

i could recognize her by areola bumps alone

No fucking way I found my little rubber fetus

Your hwat

Ok.

whenever Mikey posts a photo from mcr band rehearsals I’m like omg is that Gerard’s shadow on the floor 😍

An insane rat just rubbed up against my feet

this grave keeper edible aint shit

Dawg how are you 22 with a wife and kids you should be outside playing

They say judas is in hell because he betrayed jesus but thats actualy a misconception, that was gods plan and so he didnt do anything wrong. Judas however IS in hell because god thinks he made his son gay

You couldn’t form a band like “Boyz II Men” nowadays. The woke police would forcibly feminize them to be Boyz II Women. *slams fist* this is because we don’t sacrifice goats to golden statues of Christ in elementary schools anymore. They took this from you.