Everything sucks and the world is beautiful. I find joy in the quiet moments of moonlit darkness.
Introduction below
Hello friends. I'm GothGenderBreach, formerly Thejoysofdessert, or TJoD. You can also call me Aries. I'm a 30-something disabled nb lesbian woman and feedist. I live with almost two dozen physical and mental disabilities that make my daily life very challenging and painful.
Much of what I write here are vents and rants. Often personal stories or the little joys I find in life, too. I try to exercise my noticing-warmth-and-cozy-feelings muscles and share them here.
Please feel free to send messages or asks. I've been around the block. Happy to share and talk about anything I'm qualified to talk about.
Please do not send me fundraisers or GoFundMes. I do not have the bandwidth for them.
My interests:
Magic: the gathering
Mtg commander/EDH
Ttrpgs, especially OSR
Tabletop game system design
Architecture
Forests and the natural world
Cemeteries
Any other places I can commune with nature
Mobility aids
Feedism and it's many aspects and intersectional communities
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I showed a t-girl Donnie Darko, and she immediately became obsessed with it. I am proposing that we formally recognize Donnie Darko as an official t-girl movie. I also propose that we replace all screenings of RHPS with Donnie Darko. The girls can show up in oversized hoodies carrying axes and also in rabbit suits.
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I feel like to really get this circulating as it should, we need it superimposed over the picture of the turkey going in the fridge. (I can't do it I'm on my phone.)
If you do hardcore porn and you think you're better than someone who does full service sex work then you're a fool and a traitor.
If you do tastefully suggestive lingerie pics and you think you're better than someone who does full service sex work then you're a fool and a traitor.
If you're a barista and you think you're better than someone who does full service sex work then you're a fool and a traitor.
People that do full service sex work are cool as fuck!
yes, India made legal gender change impossible
but the doctor down the street who gives me my T shots
in a clinic so small that it's just two rooms
was excited for me when she said my voice had dropped
yes, India made legal gender change impossible
but the receptionist who could see that I was a man
didn't bat an eyelash when I asked to see the gynecologist
and called me sir when he asked how I wanted to pay
yes, India made legal gender change impossible
but the barber cuts my hair exactly how I want it
and never gave me strange looks for being in a men's salon
not even back when I didn't pass as one
yes, India made legal gender change impossible
but my friends have always gendered me correctly
and stick to it even when it confuses other people
and my friend's little sibling calls me older brother in Kannada
yes, India made legal gender change impossible
but my dog learned my new name quicker than the humans
and she runs to give me a kiss when she's told to
without being confused about who's being referred to
yes, India made legal gender change impossible
but I can feel the Adam's apple growing in my throat
and my muscles getting stronger, and my smile more real
and I'm growing a beard, and I talk more freely
yes, India made legal gender change impossible
but I'm here, and I'm alive, and so are you
and there are good people, people who care
and don't let them make you forget that--
you are not alone.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Anya is LIVE right now
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Transphobia is about to be signed into law in the UK. We can fight this.
I am begging the UK trans community and its allies to attend the Mass Lobby at Parliament on June 25th, 11am-4pm, organised by Trans Solidarity Alliance.
Last year we broke the record for an LGBT+ mass lobby of Parliament. Will you help us break it again? Join us on 25th June 2026 to demand be
The new EHRC Code of Practice pushes trans people out of toilets, hospital wards, and community spaces. It normalises gender policing based on appearance and stereotypes. It becomes statutory guidance in the UK by the end of June.
Trans people are now legally their assigned gender at birth and must join gendered spaces accordingly, but if they are perceived as their lived gender, they can also be ejected from those spaces. The guidance says: either break the law, or donโt pass too well.
A mass lobby is where you invite your MP to discuss your concerns with you in-person. Ask your MP to:
Demand full parliamentary scrutiny, debate, and use their free vote on the EHRC Code of Practice.
Support any motions rejecting the EHRC guidance. As of June 4th, Labour MP Nadia Whittome has submitted a prayer motion - Early Day Motion 240.
Write to Bridget Phillipson, the Minister for Women and Equalities about our concerns
Your MP does not have to be an ally, they do not have to respond to your email for you to show up and greencard them (details below the cut.) What matters is that as many people as possible show up.
I cannot stress this enough: Showing up in person matters. It is much more effective than petitions, emails, and letters.
It is a horrible, stressful time, and I am so sorry if you're trans and live in the UK. But I was at last year's mass lobby and the line for greencarding alone stretched around the back gates. It was a record breaking mass lobby and made us impossible to ignore. Let's do even better this time. Details under the cut:
Worried about what to say?
Bring your personal worries about transphobia being signed into law, and trans friends being excluded from public spaces. You are a living person who deserves dignity. Remind your MP of that. You will also get guidance and brochures from Trans Solidarity Alliance that outlines our demands. This is mine from last year.
Money issues?
Trans Solidarity Alliance provides a travel bursary that you can sign up for via the link.
Got a refusal or no response from your MP?ย
Come anyway! You can request a same-day appointment with your MP through a process called greencarding. They will come and see you if theyโre already in Parliament. Even if they donโt, theyโre made acutely aware of your cause because you showed up in person. This is my greencard from last year.
Here is the EHRC Code of Practice in full. It's a tough read, but some highlights are:
Organisations canโt provide trans-inclusive, single-sex services, or they risk being sued for discrimination.
e.g. domestic violence support for women including trans women, menโs rugby group including trans men (12.68).
Trans people will have nowhere safe to pee.
If youโre a trans man, businesses can't allow you to pee in the men's, and you can also be ejected from womenโs bathrooms if youโre perceived as a man. Vice versa for trans women. EHRC suggests a โthird spaceโ bathroom, which is discriminatory and unworkable for most businesses. (13.130-133)
Sports organisations must exclude trans people from single-sex competitions (13.73).ย
A womenโs only sports competition must exclude trans women because of their biological advantage or face potential lawsuits (13.74), but a trans man who has undergone testosterone treatment can also be excluded based on fairness rules (13.81).
Trans women are stripped of the legal definition of โlesbianโ, and therefore no longer have legal protections if theyโre discriminated against on the basis of sexual orientation. (2.50, 2.92).
Here is the Good Law Project's better explanation of the EHRC Code.
I have also made a PDF printout of QR codes for the government petition, email your MP tool, and mass lobby link to pass around your communities. DM me and I'll send it to you.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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