Grumpy cat Momo 🍑

This hit comes right after Mo arguably gets to experience teenage life with friends for the first time ever:

Trying and hilariously failing to form a band; running away together from Qiu, to who knows where; Mo opening up about his traumas -no, someone (He Tian and arguably Jian Yi, too) actively telling Mo that it's okay for him to depend on others to lighten his burden. Fun picnics with traumatic moments (i.e. the mudslide) that bring the boys closer together. Going to concerts. Getting to participate in the school festival. Mo huffing and puffing all the way about being "dragged around", but actually having a good time and taking his mind off all the shit in his life.

(chapter 318)

And that's just it, isn't it? While He Tian can be pushy and overbearing, Mo is capable of expressing (rather colourfully, although not assertively at all) when something is actually crossing over his boundaries. Sure, he may have been roped into joining the boys in their adventures. However, it's Mo who ultimately allows himself to be a teen for once. For once, having a regular life doesn't feel so out of reach.

And it all comes crashing down with a single call.

Why act as if it's the end of the world, if it's just a part-time job that barely pays peanuts? Well, not a lot of people are willing to hire a young student and work conditions are usually quite precarious. The only times Mo has gotten paid fairly for labour was because of He Tian finding Mo gigs, like that one time he got to work at a photo studio moving stuff.

Needless to say, there's also the earlier chapters, where He Tian pays Mo for housekeeping. It's shown He Tian actually pays well, and even pays Mo for stupid stuff like accepting a videocall.

Still, Mo states multiple times he does not want to owe anyone anything and least of all be seen as a charity case. To be indebted is to be subjected to the other person; it becomes a cage, like the one She Li tried to keep him in to be used at whim.

(chapter 319)

Mo -as much as he would never say it out loud- wants to be seen as his own person, because he's carried his own father's sentence from a very young age, which twisted his peers' perception of him, as well as his own sense of worth. And that ostracization made Mo even more vulnerable to fall into She Li's clutches because he doesn't have any support network. Hell, She Li himself participates in it, despite, in his own words, them two "being the same".

(chapters 242, and 368)

The biggest tragedy is that Mo is still kind of an upstanding kid even when he falls into the "school bully" persona. He cares, a lot, for what he allows himself to care for: his mum, and their safety.

He'll take as many shitty jobs as it takes to help his mum pay for his dad's debt. He'll work himself to the bone and forgo his dreams if that'll ease the weight she's carrying. He doesn't speak out about his situation, doesn't lean into self-pity. He doesn't fight it either, instead choosing to close himself off because he's pretty much checked out of social life and future prospects.

He'll take being beaten up by some adult gang over them laying a finger on his mum.

In a way, even when it hurts, Mo has built a very precarious balance between i-keep-away-from-you /you-keep-away-from-me that protects him just enough. He'll just tough it out until he inevitably drops out.

Then He Tian, Jian Yi, and Zhan Zhengxi show up in his life. Rather, Mo crashes into theirs, in the worst way possible. Either way, that distance he's relied on starts to break down. The lines he's drawn stop holding like they used to.

And it hurts (literally, at times), at first. It's annoying, it's inconvenient, and some of the wacky shit they get him into is headache-worthy. And yet, these idiots end up worming into his heart.

(chapters 240 and 315)

After so much time spent being shunned and friendless, he's drawn out of that shell of loneliness. He experiences the struggles of being perceived by others, of others actually wanting to understand him. And, perhaps, him wanting to know them back.

Obviously, Mo's developing relationship with He Tian is the highlight here, given he's the character he gets to know in a deeper level and for whom he develops feelings for.

There are so many things to be said, but since I'm trying to focus on Guan Shan's character here, so I'll summarise my thoughts as much as I can:

At the start of their relationship, He Tian and Mo Guan Shan’s dynamic is marked by a clear imbalance of power. He Tian moves through the world with control, secrecy, and unhealed trauma that he doesn’t fully understand, often expressing interest through intimidation rather than connection. His behavior toward Mo walks a thin line between teasing and threatening, making their early interactions feel more coercive than romantic.

But in Chapter 297, He Tian lets his guard down and admits he chose Mo because he admires his honesty and steadiness; all qualities He Tian feels he lacks. Unlike Mo, He Tian is deeply afraid of his own darkness, shaped by a violent family legacy he despises and wants to distance himself from. Mo, in turn, isn’t naive; he knows He Tian is manipulative, but he’s also seen glimpses of real vulnerability behind the facade.

They’re both isolated, scared kids wearing masks they hate — a rich kid and a bully, neither of which tell the full story. As they see the cracks in each other’s armor, their relationship begins to shift, if only slightly. These moments of honesty don’t excuse the harm, but they push for genuine growth. It’s in those small glimpses of shared fear and loneliness that a more honest bond might start to take shape.

(chapters 259 and 319)

The culmination of Mo’s struggle with agency and the absence of a real support system comes in chapters 344 and 346, when He Tian gives him a guitar, along with a photo and a message that Mo has probably been waiting his whole life to hear.

(a message so important Mo keeps the picture into his adult years.... yeah)

Can you see how, after opening himself up to all these experiences, Mo might have been lulled into a false sense of security — even though, in many ways, he was more protected during this time than he’s ever been?

Mo's life has never been that of an ordinary teenager.

The pretense of a life where he gets to spend his time hanging out with friends and no consequences is just that. A pretense, a lapse of judgement in Mo's part, whose livelihood just came crashing around when he missed his part-time job during the culture festival.

The next thing he does if to cut all of his friends off, recognising that hanging with these "privileged " kids has distracted from his initial goal, his true reason to keep on going is: to help his mother pay off their debt.

His not contributing to that has actual, real repercussions, and Mo resigns himself to never lose sight of that again.

So then, he goes home. He sees his mum sleeping. She must be tired from how many shifts she has to take; maybe she has to wake up to an ungodly hour to be on time for the first of her various part-time jobs.

(chapter 360)

Mo is probably feeling guilty for putting his ma in an even tougher situation, now that for the foreseeable future he won't be able to help out.

Reluctantly he walks to his bedroom and sits down in front of some open textbooks. He stares at them; looks conflicted. One can wonder what's going on in that frazzled mind of his.

I, for one, think that he's questioning if this really is what his life is suppossed to be, and the point of it all.

~

If you made it here, thank you so much! <3