I'm back in the fuckning bidling!

funniest sound in the world is a cat smacking shit hard as fuck with their little stupid paw

i saw a cat with an honest to god balled-up fist getting ready to hit someone the other day and it made me laugh so hard i cried

audio: [so‿ɡ̊o ˈbæʔ t̯ʊ̆‿ðᵊ ˌǁ͜klə̃ː˧˨ə́b̚]

never going to be over that time I was trying to explain polyamory to my mum, and she said "I just don't understand how someone could be in love with two people at once" and I gave her my the-cognitive-dissonance-is-causing-me-physical-pain face and she said "what??" and I very quietly said "mother....you had an affair...."

*explodes into a shower of gore and when the red mist clears i'm completely fine but wearing a different outfit*

depressed steampunk guy: like nothing makes me happy anymore i feel like my fantastical flying contraption just ran out of coal

Steam. Is. Water. Coal. Makes. Smoke.

what is the coal doing to the water

this isn't the gif i thought it would be .

I'm supposed to be shocked by shipping discourse in the big 26? my girl calls me big sis when she cums

Woke little sister, flushed and in between heavy breaths: "we should be doing this. It's perfectly fine. Incest taboos are based in eugenics."

Woke older sister, panting softly: It’s just praxis, it’s just praxis, it’s-

princess lessons are getting a little out of hand..