sscummy ammy

Health intertwined with disease

Ease often distanced and kept at arms length

Can’t see the forest for the trees

A prisoner inside of this vessel

Pain demands to be felt

This illness is not something visible

You see no scars or welts

But still the pain is persisting

And still the meds do not work

It pays to stay home and do nothing

When you are not deemed fit for work

The pain is a friend and a stranger

A stalker a dosser a leech

My angel sits high on my shoulder

Keeping me just from deaths reach

Death is my cousin, but distant

She visits me now and again

She barters with my immune system

Picking my cells from their stems

Because I could not stop for death

Pain drags it’s feet on and on

It falters a moment the briefest atonement before it resumes it’s sick song

I once knew a life much much different

I once was not stricken with grief

I weep for myself and my former good health

Searching for peace

Finding infinity

In a packet of pills

Short breaths

Baited

You waited for something better

I hope you found it

I guess you felt hopeless

I wish we could’ve helped

Drugs are just a plaster

On hemorrhaging mental health

Searching for nirvana at the bottom of a bottle

I hope you found yourself

You traded in your happiness

For pills fame and wealth

fame’s a cruel mistress

She loves only herself

She tells you to keep working

When really you need help

We heard your muffled cries

And clearer they became

When did you stop playing