oops! all nasty!

Like this take may sound woke and seem to make sense to you, but apply any critical thinking and you'll realize this puts you in the same camp as the homophobes, transphobes, and all other bigots.

You don't get to police what other consenting adults do in their bedrooms. You don't get to make people feel ashamed of how they get off. No one does. No matter how much you dislike it. No matter how justified you feel about it. Those folks who want to genocide us for being queer and trans feel just as justified, they feel just as much that it makes sense, they feel just as much that it is their right to take their personal discomfort out on people who are different from them. Which is all this is just with a progressive veneer.

Frog Restraint: Two Positions [High Quality + Replay]

The binary did/didn't was so very useful to prove that rape is even possible. I mean, historically it basically just meant 'sex outside marriage'. It was usually a crime against male relatives. Women are the oldest form of property. While sexual assault as a concept really only dates back to the 70s.

Though, of course the violation always existed, but it simply wasn't legible before. Did not exist in the eyes of the world (patriarchy).

Now, with that legibility, comes the tendency to cling desperately to it. Court of law enforcement induces court of law models of consent. It becomes a question of whether or not you could prove it to your own idea of a fair court. Life becomes he-said/she-said.

And what always emerges from these liberal models is the problem of intersectionality. If legibility is required to access legibility, then multiple marginalizations stack multiplicatively. You cannot fix a system by only uplifting the most privileged. Truly, your only choice is to revolutionize the world.

In the first place, perhaps the problem is the idea that one can ever truly be said to 'consent'. What magic line do we draw that marks it as "not rape"? When is it entirely of your own free will? Have you ever once made a decision without undue influence? The more social pressures, the worse it gets. Plus in the present, wow are these pressures deeply contradictory.

“I can hardly blame you. I did this to you, after all. Made you suggestible.” They tap you on the forehead, your eyes close. “Pliable.” They press their fingers to your scalp, massaging away any remaining thoughts. “Weak.” You are weak. Pliable. Suggestible. For them.

“You’re all mine. So of course, you sink. Of course you let my words take over your brain.” Their fingers continue to move in circles, making your mind into mush. “You’re helpless for me. And this is what I mean, when I call you a good, brainwashed pet.” They let go of your head.

Your weak neck can’t support your skull, you flop forwards, and they catch you. “Try to stay up, yeah?” You blink. It feels so alien, having your eyes open. “Try to resist the way my words make you feel.” It’s so hard to resist. “Deep.” Your eyelids are already fluttering.

“Drowsy.” You can’t help but begin to sink again. “Blank.” That last word makes your brain shut down again. “That’s it. Feeling the sensations, even as you try not to.” There isn’t a shred of resistance in you. But you do try. “Even as you slip a little deeper, with every word I say.”

There’s the barest idea of thought, still in your brain. “I know, you’re trying to resist.” They brush their fingers through your hair. “And resistance is tiring. It’s so comfortable to relax into my words.” To sink into my control. Stop trying, toy. Good job.”

* * *

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Dolly who kept meeting new owners who extra promised to help her fill in those cracks and buff out those scrapes and replace her damaged pieces.

Dolly whose owners always did, for a time. But there was always too much damage for them to enjoy playing with her for very long.

They would always ask "Why aren't the scratches all gone?", "Why does the damage to you still make it harder for you to do things?", "Why does your head keep coming loose? Why can't you just make it stay on?"

Didn't they know it's because you can't repair lifetimes of scratches and cracks so quickly? Didn't they know it takes a lot of time and love to fix her back up? Didn't they know she still needs to know you love and want her, even after you take her as your own?

Dolly who's had to pick up all her broken pieces again after owner after owner played with her too rough or threw her out.

Dolly who's had to try and buff out her own scratches and fill in her own cracks all alone because how could anyone, even her owner, care enough about her to really want to help?

How could anyone ever see her as anything more than an afterthought? Something to be put back on the shelf while they play with prettier toys, then be taken back down when they feel bored.

Dolly who needs more than just a word or two when she asks if you still like playing with her.

Dolly who really likes it when you say you like her outfit or her form or her hair or her lips or anything else.

Dolly who just wants you to show that you love her, and help her buff out all those scratches and fill in all those cracks and learn that people can play nice with her and hold her gently.

Dolly who just wants you to be patient with her and not give up on her, because she's not giving up on herself either.