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James Charles reinventing the Webster Dictionary

Fame is hard. When you lose it, you lose yourself.

I'm waiting for this reboot. @tsegs

The year is 2038, Cory’s failed campaign run for the presidency has depleted the Baxter Family power. Raven can no longer see visions of Chelsea falling into the hands of the wrong sugar daddy (aka Jeff Besos), and her mom never returns after her mysterious disappearance in season 4 of That’s So Raven — their reality show (slaps harder than Keeping Up with the Krunkeddasians). An initial attempt to save the Baxter name comes in the form of Raven’s Home — even nostalgic Gen’zers couldn’t even revive this racially diverse version of Full House. Subsequently, the patriachial head of the Baxter family desperately seeks a solution to the woes of his family. Victor continuously fails to reobtain the family power, for even a pimp ring of former, washed up Disney Stars couldn’t resolve Baxter Family Troubles (it’s a spin off show, catch it on TLC). One day, however, Victor stumbles upon a mysterious ring oddly on the finger of some dead homeless guy <RIP> but anyways... Victor carelessly rips the ring off the crusty fellows’s falange and places the ring upon his own Oscar Meyer Sausage finger. Suddenly! The stone encased into the ring illuminates a damn near beacon of light... Victor slowly begins to animorph. His skin tints the color of Purple Mountain Majesty (Crayola ©). Thus, Victor Baxter has evolved. A new man is born. Thanos Reginald Smith arose that day.

We lost a national hero in the Great McDonald’s War of 2003

A 3:00 am Ritual