SENTIMENTAL BOY

one may think "language" is french or spinach for "the nguage". this is a folk etymology myth, it is actually more like mile -> mileage. "How much language are you getting out ofthose words"

For sale. baby shoes. just hatched. bonded pair. you will need to feed them shoe formula for the first month. adult shoes eat their young so i need to get rid of these asap. I was going to foster the cloglets myself until they're old enough to walk but I can't take it any more. the shoe mother is confined to my spare room and keeps peeing on my blankets. you can hear her pacing in circles at all hours except if the babies are loud enough that she can hear them through the wall. Then she gets weirdly silent. Like a predator. I don't like thinking about her that way. It's making me hate her. It's making me hate the pet I've had since childhood. I should have gotten her spayed years ago. I should have known better than to let her outside when I knew how many feral, masculine uggs there were in on the streets. But she loved the sunlight and it felt cruel to keep a sandal indoors. And my ex always talked down to me about how bad outdoor shoes are for local wildlife. So I let her outside to spite him and she came home pregnant and now I have nightmares about her eating her children. About her eating my own child. I fear I'll never be able to look at her the same way again. When she licks me, I wonder if she likes how I taste. My Flopsy. Her babies are innocents. Pure soles. Cherish them. Give the love I can no longer provide for my own pet. And for god's sake, get your shoes castrated. They are size 3.

men b like wow I’ve never met a girl who liked music before..

You obviously know nothing about men if this is what you think they say

Men will see a mouse and eat it

No they won’t because why would anyone eat a mouse that’s stupid not all men are bad and not all men are stupid you may have had a bad experience with a man but not all men are bad granted there bad men but instantly accusing all men as bad is immature I’m dating a man and he is nowhere near stupid and I know for a fact that he won’t eat a mouse and in pretty sure I could name at least five other men that won’t do something as immature as that and saying that a man will see a mouse and eat it won’t get you a anywhere with a man if anything it will drive them away.

A man will see a mouse and be like is anyone else gonna eat this and not wait for an answer

As a feminist I don’t think about anything when I jerk off I kinda just piece togther conceptual abstracts

I just want to express how bad it is for my chained up basement twink when you guys dont listen to my spotify links. Its really not good for it at all

girl help i’m starting over again for the 1000th time & i’m beginning to think that life is a never-ending cycle of starting over & i actually have to make peace with that in order to move forward

puppy on head idiot

*goes to Coachella in a white linen suit like an antebellum lawyer, sweating profusely and dabbing at my forehead with a handkerchief* now, I’m no fancy scientist, but would you folk know where a simple gentleman such as myself could obtain some acid? Now, I’m no big city lawyer, but could any of you fine youths point a country boy such as myself in the direction of some fucking acid?

easily a contender for post of the decade

god if there was an alligator outside my house right now that would be scary

i was like wizard high and nauseous with fear when i posted this and no one even tried to save me

oh shit, it's 3/21/23, 32123, palindrome day

Welcome to 3/23/23, aka 32323. It's palindrome day three, everyone! :D

y’all better learn how to stop saying “kill yourself” to each other and “i’m gonna kill myself” to yourself and start enjoying the garden of life or i’m going to rip you apart and then i will plant you in the earth and you will become a tree. what will you do with these cruel urges then, hm? when you are a walnut tree. you’ll be making walnuts