The Blog To End All Blogs

One day I hope I am the girl that walks into a room and all eyes are on her. 

The trick is to get a really big hat and then scream

good night. sleep tight. don’t let the bed bugs bite. tonight. imma fight. till we see the sunlight. tik tok. on the clock. but the party don’t stop.

don’t trust college kids. I threw a party w plenty of food/drinks shit even weed and I wake up and you know what’s missing? my pineapple. who went to the back of my fridge and said imma take all this pineapple. damn son. take the free alcohol not my pineapple man…

dark hozier take me to hell

Chaotic neutral hozier take me to lunch

I REBLOGGED THIS YESTERDAY AND LIKE 2 HOURS LATER THE WALLET I HAD LOST 6 HOURS AWAY FROM HOME THAT HAD MY DEBIT CARD AND LIKE 80 DOLLARS IN CASH WAS DELIVERED TO MY HOUSE WITH NO RETURN ADDRESS I CANT HELP BUT THINK IT WAS JACKIE CHAN WHO SENT IT GOD BLESS YOU JACKIE CHAN

Last time I did this it was payday so duh. Let’s see what you’ve got this time, Chan.

Er, actually, about a minute after I hit reblog I got some very important (and positive) money-related news out of the blue. The system works, guys.

THIS WORKS!!

Doesn’t hurt to try 💕

But look at all the friends you’ve made!

it means you have new friends!

are these good new friends or “death is coming” sort of new friends

yes!

The more I see of Eric Andre the more I’m convinced he is some chaotic neutral trickster god sent to the mortal plane to torment us

Make no mistake, pancakes do not have bones. If anyone on this here website is trying to sell you “rare and Blessed pancake bones” DO NOT transfer funds to these persons—we repeat, pancake bones do not exist, are not magical, and if they were why would someone sell them? And it’d probably be illegal. Again, do not purchase so-called pancake bones from anyone, unless you want to overpay for non-magical chicken bones.