Glee Is Amazing

“I thought we were gonna wait until Burt and Carole came back from work.” He asked, headshotting Finn’s avatar on screen. Finn groaned next to him, flopping back into the couch cushions as his guy died.

“Kurt has this thing.” Finn said, “About buying the tree without his dad and surprising him with it.”

“It’s called tradition, Finn.” Kurt said, haughtily.

“Yeah, dude, a tradition you only started, like, 2 years ago.”

“If you must know, it's actually something I used to do with my mom.” Kurt corrected him while throwing a balled up blue striped scarf at him. It hit him in the face, and Finn glared playfully, tossing the scarf back at Kurt who caught it easily, giving Finn an unimpressed look. “It was only a couple of years ago that I was able to bring the tradition back, albeit a couple of weeks later than when my mom and I would go when I was a kid.”

“So the promising to wait for Burt and Carole?” Sam asked as the game on screen ended. He took off his headset and turned to face Kurt.

“A ruse.” Kurt said mischievously.

“That Burt knows all about.” Finn pointed out, “Come on, I promised Puck and Artie we’d play COD, can’t we just wait for Mom and Burt to get back?”

Kurt rolled his eyes at Finn.

“They’re not going to be back until at least five. And by then it’ll be dark. Christmas trees cannot be picked out in the dark, Finn.”

“That’s kinda true, dude.” Sam agreed, already picking up his beanie and putting it on, “Besides, I thought you loved Christmas.”

Finn looked conflicted between them and the TV screen, probably with Artie and Puck shouting things in his ear.

“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to.” Kurt told him, “But if you don’t I expect you to get the decorations out of the basement instead.”

“Sure,” Finn agreed with a smile, and Kurt turned to Sam.

“You coming with me?” He asked, and Sam shrugged, nodded.

“Sure, I love Tree Farms.” He said. Kurt gave him a small smile before moving to leave. Sam followed him, grabbing his coat on his way through the hall and out into the cold winter air. Kurt was already in his Navigator, and Sam hopped up into the passenger side. Hot air was blowing from the AC and the radio was on, playing Christmas songs.

“So, what type of tree are we looking for?” Sam asked as Kurt started driving out of Whitman Avenue, humming along to All I Want For Christmas Is You. “Full and fat? Tall and skinny? Charlie Brown?”

“I’m thinking a broad one will suit the new house.” Kurt replied, “We hadn’t moved yet last year, usually we’d get a thinner one, but I’m thinking of putting it up next to the TV and I think a fatter tree will fit there nicely…”

Sam listened as Kurt presented his plans for decorating the Hudmel house, garland on the banisters, classic red and green and gold, stockings and tartan bows and festive knick knacks. It was honestly the exact sort of Christmas decorations Sam loved.

“For some reason I’d pegged you as a modern white and gold Christmas person.” Sam commented and Kurt let out a short laugh.

“No way, Christmas is the time for the classics.” Kurt said, “You can’t go wrong with red, green, and gold. With black and white movies on the TV, classic Christmas songs on the radio.”

“I agree.” Sam said, before turning nostalgic, “My family usually watches It’s A Wonderful Life every year.”

“When are you and Rory leaving for Kentucky?" Kurt asked.

“We're going to drive down after Glee on Wednesday." Sam replied. "Remind me to thank your dad for letting me borrow a truck."

"You already thanked him," Kurt laughed, "Multiple times. And it's yours while you stay with us, remember. The perks of staying with a mechanic."

"Dude, if it wasn't for him my dad would have to pick us up, and drop us back and that would be, like, twice the amount of gas. I’ll thank him as many times as I want." Sam said, before they fell into a comfortable silence. They hummed along to the Christmas songs floating in the air between them, Sam staring out the window. In the chilly air were tiny little snowflakes, the beginnings of a snowfall.

“When did you used to get the tree?” Sam asked as the songs made way for the radio announcer.

Kurt hummed in slight confusion, and Sam clarified.

“You said you and your mom would go a few weeks before now?”

“Yeah,” Kurt huffed out a laugh, his lips quirking into a smile, “More than a few, really. My mom would get a tree the Saturday after Thanksgiving. She loved decorating the house, and we’d spend most of December doing Christmas crafts for the tree. Every year we’d make a new wreath together, or sew fabric ornaments or bows, or make those salt dough ornaments. We’ve still got most of them, actually.”

“Ah, so you were that kind of Christmas family.”

“My Mom would have put Christmas up before Thanksgiving if my Dad had let her, but he never did and so she settled on going all out on the Thanksgiving decorations too.”

“My brother and sister always want Christmas up that early too.” Sam said with a fond chuckle, looking out of the window. They were getting to the edges of Lima, now, the houses coming few and far between. “We usually do all sorts of crafts too.”

“Really?” Kurt asked, quickly looking at him and then back at the road, “I never would have pegged you for the craft type. Or are you only the craft type when it comes to your siblings?”

Sam felt a flush come to his cheeks as he debated telling Kurt about his love of arts and crafts, his one guilty pleasure… well, that and being a Fanilow… and his love of Taylor Swift.

Fuck it, he thought, Kurt had just been talking about his love of Christmas crafts, he wasn’t likely to laugh at Sam for being into art too.

“I love crafts.” He said gathering up a smile. “Like I’ve never handmade a wreath but that sounds like fun. My siblings and I usually just paint ornament blanks or make paper chains but it was fun.” He gathered some courage. “I like art too, actually, like, drawing and stuff, painting.” He decided not to bring up the fact that he still loved macaroni art.

“Huh.” Kurt said with mild surprise, “I never would have figured you’d be into art, but I guess you’re not just a one dimensional jock.” He teased.

“Dude, not really a jock anymore.” Sam laughed, “I don’t really think swimming counts even if I got a letterman out of it, and you already knew I wasn’t exactly the stereotypical jock, dude. You know how nerdy I am.” Sam smirked, a memory of a conversation coming to him, “I’m not a box. There are more than four sides to me.” He quoted, voice pitched slightly higher.

Kurt groaned and briefly shut his eyes against the memory.

“You weren’t even there.” He said, “How do you know about that?”

“Mercedes,” Sam replied with a shrug, “You do know there are more than four sides to a box, right? Like…”

“Yes, I do in fact know that a box has six sides, Samuel-”

“-Samwise” Sam interrupted, trying his best to keep a straight face.

“-Samwise,” Kurt absently corrected himself before frowning, mouth opening and closing as he took in what he’d just said. He turned to look at Sam, at his barely concealed grin, and glared playfully at him.

“Nah, It’s Samuel.” Sam said, letting his grin free, “Don’t worry, not secretly a hobbit.”

“I hope not.” Kurt grumbled, and Sam cringed at his faux pa.

“Sorry dude, didn’t mean to make you think about-”

“-yep, nope, we’re not talking about him.” Kurt interrupted, “We’re getting a tree and not talking about my hobbit-sized ex, got it?”

Sam gave him an apologetic smile and nodded.

“Got it.”

They finally pulled up to the Tree Farm, the snow was coming down softly now, settling on the floor and on the tops of the trees not hidden under the marquee. It was really rather picturesque, like something out of a Hallmark Channel romcom, all they needed to complete the scene was a couple of hot chocolates.

They stepped out of the car and Sam enthusiastically greeted the people manning the site, Kurt smiling politely by his side with an air of aloofness, before they walked into the thick of trees.

Sam breathed in the smell of pine and sighed in contentment, doing a little spin with his arms out at his sides. Behind him Kurt chuckled slightly at his antics and followed at a slightly less enthusiastic pace. In fact he was following a few feet behind Sam, his eyes darting around.

At first it just seemed like he was looking at all of the trees, but his eyes never lingered on them, only lingering on the people around them. He held himself stiff, back straight, chin tilted up slightly so he was looking down his nose at everything and everyone. Trying to look appraising, maybe, superior, confident, but it came off as aloof, haughty, unapproachable. Sam had never really noticed this look on Kurt before, well, that wasn’t true, he’d never noticed this look on Kurt at the Hudmel’s before, but he’d certainly seen it in the halls of McKinley, and even occasionally in the walls of the Choir room, the stage of the Auditorium.

“Dude, let loose a little.” He commented, coming to a stop, Kurt catching up with him but still looking around at the people also looking at trees. There were a couple of Families with young kids running around and excitedly pointing at various trees, couples holding hands and hot chocolates and stealing kisses, a few single people efficiently looking at trees without the distraction of another person.

Kurt gave Sam a look, brow furrowed, lips downturned, chin still up and eyes still looking down the bridge of his nose.

“You look like, I dunno, Jack Frost or something.” Sam joked, trying to get Kurt’s icy exterior to crack. It didn’t, so he switched tactics.

He walked closer to Kurt and flung a friendly arm around his shoulder like he would have done with Puck, or Mike, or Rory, or even Finn, if he’d been able to fling an arm that high. But instead of Kurt reacting like those guys would have done, he froze. His chin fell down into his scarf, his eye’s widening as they darted around at the other patrons, and his cheeks going ever so slightly pink. Then he ducked out from Sam’s friendly embrace.

His haughty exterior had vanished, all right, but now he was looking small, his shoulders hunched his head tucked down into his chest, and his eyes on the ground.

“Dude, what’s wrong?” Sam asked, looking confusedly at Kurt, who looked up at him with an unimpressed look before clearing his throat and straightening up. He got a look of determination across his face.

“We need to find a tree.” He said, nodding, and stalked off in a random direction. Sam frowned but followed.

“Dude, seriously, what the fuck was that about?” Sam asked softly, mindful of the kids darting between trees.

“You can’t just…” Kurt began to hiss, before shaking his head with a sigh. “Never mind.”

“Can’t just what?” Sam asked, “Put an arm around my friend’s shoulder? I’d do that with, like, any of the Glee guys.”

“Yeah well…” Kurt shrugged, and trailed off, and Sam frowned again in confusion. Kurt seemed to think that Sam should have understood, but he really didn’t. What was so wrong about what he did? Kurt seemed fine with stuff like that when they were at home, a friendly pat on the back, arm around shoulders, nudges and the like. Even in Glee he was usually okay with it, even if he did often roll his eyes at Sam’s antics before moving away. Why was he so opposed to friendly touches now?

“You’re gonna have to explain that to me dude.” Sam said, catching up with Kurt so that they were side by side. He noticed that Kurt took a step, two, to the left, putting space between them.

“You can’t just… put your arm around me, Sam.” Kurt sighed, back ramrod straight, arms pressed into his sides, “Aren’t you afraid someone will think you’re… that you’re my…” Kurt trailed off.

“What? Friend?” Sam asked with a confused frown, trying to figure out what Kurt was getting at, “No? Because you are?”

“That you’re my boyfriend.” Kurt corrected in a hiss, and Sam blinked, stopping a moment in his walking, before continuing, speeding up to catch back up with Kurt. He threw an arm around Kurt’s shoulders again and didn’t let Kurt freeze, continuing walking and basically dragging Kurt with him.

“Who cares what people think, dude.” Sam laughed, nonchalant, “You’re my friend and I’m gonna act like you’re my friend. Besides, it’s way more awkward if you’re, like, acting like you don’t like me.”

“I’m not acting like I don’t like you!” Kurt protested, and Sam let out an amused snort, to which Kurt looked amusedly disgusted at before, playfully this time, ducking out from under Sam’s arm.

Sam smiled, glad to finally be seeing the Kurt he’d gotten to know the last few weeks while living at the Hudmel’s.

“Dude, whenever I try to get close to you, you move away and put, like, 6 feet of space between us.” Sam laughed, nudging Kurt’s shoulder with his, “People are either gonna think you hate me or that I stink.”

Kurt frowned, but didn’t move away as they continued to walk through the trees. He hummed in contemplation, a short huh.

“Did you seriously not notice what you were doing?” Sam asked, a playful air to his sincere words, trying to make light of the situation. Kurt shrugged, then shook his head, then shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat.

“I guess I’m just… used to guys not wanting to be close to me in case…”

“What? In case some random person you’ll likely never even see again thinks you’re a couple?” Sam asked, “Dude, if someone thinks you’re my boyfriend I’d be totally flattered, you’re a catch.”

That caught Kurt off guard and he barked out a laugh. Sam grinned as the previous awkwardness completely evaporated and they walked down the rows of trees, shoulders almost touching, as they started to look at each tree, humming along to the Christmas songs that floated in the air like the snow beyond the marque.

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire Jack Frost nipping at your nose

“Yuletide carols being sung by a choir And folks dressed up like Eskimos.” Kurt sang along absentmindedly, almost under his breath, as he stopped in front of a fat tree, inspecting it.

“Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe Help to make the season bright.” Sam sang back, full bodied and unself-conscious, and Kurt turned to him with a smile. “Tiny tots, with their eyes all aglow Will find it hard to sleep tonight.”

“They know that Santa's on his way He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh.” Kurt responded in kind, his confidence on full display.

“And every mother's child is gonna spy To see if reindeer really know how to fly.”

“And so we’re offering this simple phrase To kids from one to ninety-two.”

“Although it's been said many times, many ways Merry Christmas to you.” They sang together in perfect harmony.

The instrumental before the final chorus played over the tannoy. It was floaty, almost like a waltz, and as the first few notes floated through the air Sam decided he really didn’t care what anyone else would think, and took Kurt’s hand, dancing him around in some semblance of a waltz as he laughed. Sam even tried a lift as the music swelled, hands at Kurt’s waist, but it was a bit awkward without practice and he’d slightly miscalculated Kurt’s weight, and they laughed as Sam barely lifted him off of the ground and they both stumbled on their feet, before continuing the song.

“And so I'm offering this simple phrase To kids from one to ninety-two,” Kurt sang, voice still filled with laughter.

“Although it's been said many times, many ways.” They harmonised with grins on their faces,

“Merry Christmas,” Sam sang in a lower register.

“Merry Christmas!” Kurt sang higher.

“Merry Christmas,” They finished together with a flourish, “To-oo-oo you!”

The music swelled and Kurt and Sam shared a laugh as it faded away into the next song.

Neither of them were expecting the sound of applause, and turned to see a couple of girls around their age, one with a phone turned towards them, slowly lowering it, and another clapping enthusiastically.

Kurt absentmindedly stepped away from Sam.

“That was so good!” The clapping girl enthused.

“Thanks!” Sam responded, trying not to let the fact that Kurt stepped away lessen his good mood.

“You make a cute couple.” The girl with the phone said, a bit more subdued than her friend, before offering them a soft smile.

The compliment, though misguided, warmed Sam from the inside and he felt his cheeks heat in a tell tale blush as he smiled back. The girls nodded, before walking away, and Sam turned to Kurt to find him looking open mouthed at their backs, floundering slightly.

“Yup, I was right.” Sam said, and Kurt turned to him. Sam smiled widely at him, and Kurt smiled hesitantly back, a question in his eyes. “I totally feel flattered to be mistaken as your boyfriend, dude.”

1

Sam most definitely does not have an issue. Nope. Definitely not. 

He doesn’t watch the way the drumstick twirls expertly between slim fingers and he most definitely does not watch the muscles and tendons in the arm twitch and bulge with the movement of said drumstick. He doesn’t because he doesn’t have an issue at all – it’s that simple.

Sam crosses his arms and shifts on his feet, so entirely thankful of the distraction that Rachel offers the group. Apparently now she’s not getting a nose job – which Sam never saw the problem with (if it didn’t harm her or anyone else, who where they to tell her that she shouldn’t?) – and Sam is glad that she’s choosing this moment to announce it.

Especially because it gives Sam more time to not stare at Kurt’s slim waist, cocked hip, and almost bored expression. Gah, how much that looks stirs something inside of Sam is kind of ridiculous.

“Sam?” Mike is cocking his head and before Sam can focus on his buddy, Mike is following his line of sight.

“Oh,” is all Mike says. The tall Asian man claps him on the shoulder and gives him a pitied look.

Sam jerks back because he doesn’t know what that means at all, but he doesn’t want Mike to be assuming things. He wasn’t staring at Kurt or watching the way his hair sways when he moves because it’s standing up and sexily – artfully – tousled. He doesn’t want Mike reading into things that aren’t there.

This isn’t the first time since Kurt transferred back that Sam has had to try to bullshit himself about his feelings.

The feelings that he’s still trying to convince himself that don’t exist are the same ones that keep his heart thrumming quickly against his sternum every time the other boy comes into the room and the same ones that keep him up all night. Fantasies, both light-hearted sweet and dirty, keep him up and make him tired for school the next day, but he doesn’t have it in him to get upset at himself. He’s been trying to come around to this whole new set of feelings that seem to have just been plopped into his lap.

The glee club walks off stage. Now that Rachel is here, they will be running through the Lady Gaga routine. They’ve got it near-perfect, and this is the first dress rehearsal – which, as far as Sam can tell, is them making great progress.

“Look,” Sam catches Mike’s arm, stopping the other teen from following the rest of the group in. Sam waits until Artie has rolled off stage until he drops his voice to a whisper, eyes scanning the room to see if they’re being listened to or not, “I don’t know what you think you saw, but bro-“

Mike interrupts him, “You’re in denial still?”

“What?” he asks dumbly.

Mike glances up to where Sam knows – has no idea actually, because he hadn’t been watching him – Kurt is and then looks back at Sam. “I went through the same thing, Tina helped me figure it out and she’s been really supportive. So all I’m saying is that I get it.”

Sam may be a little slow to grasp things sometimes, but is Mike saying what he thinks he’s saying? “What?” he asks again because he’s not sure what else to say.

“Come on, guys,” Mr. Schuester ushers the two of them off the stage the rest of the way.

“I’m here if you need,” Mike smiles politely at him and goes over to his girlfriend and wraps his arms around her in a tight but quick hug. Then Tina, Mercedes, and Kurt are marching past Sam to go back onto the stage – oh right, they start the number. 

Sam tries to watch the performance as innocently as everyone else does until his cue pulls him out onto the stage with the rest of his friends.

2

Two days later, the glee club master the “Born This Way” performance and then they are back in the choir room and Mr. Schue is giving out the newest lesson. Sam is only partially paying attention because it is getting to the end of the school year and spring is in full swing (with the summer heat right on its tail) and the choir room has always had poor circulation meaning they froze in the winter and now that it’s warming up everyone is quick to shed their layers – including Kurt.

Dressed down to just a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, Sam can’t help but notice how different he is from the boy who left McKinley earlier this year. He had been shorter and way skinnier (Sam realizes now that he must not have been eating properly) and now that he’s grown and filled out a little bit, people can’t help but notice him when he walks into a room. Especially today with his pale arms and long neck on full display.

The week’s lesson is a simple touch-up on the group’s choreography because Schue says something about not wanting to start anything too strong when they are getting close to when they should start preparing for nationals.

He then uses Kurt to demonstrate a few of their known moves and Sam’s in his own personal hell because he should be watching the way Kurt keeps his back straight and poised while he spins and how his foot flexes and keeps a perfect point outwards when he kicks his leg into the air, not the way the tendons in his neck flex when he bends down or the way his pants hug his ass and crotch so perfectly as if he’d chosen them for that very reason.

Sam’s mouth floods with saliva when he thinks about what those pants are hiding, and he feels like a disgusting predator. Kurt had just gotten back to his school and friends after needing to escape from an abusive closeted gay boy – what the hell is Sam thinking that he’s doing?

But then Kurt finished the short set of moves with a flick of his hair, standing more up from his face than laying relaxed on his forehead like Sam remembers it from before. And Sam knows that he loves Kurt’s hair, he’s not sure why, but it’s one of the many attractive things about this boy-

Someone aggressively kicks his chair. He jerks forward and almost falls out of it and onto the floor.

“What the-“ he turns and sees Mike glaring at him.

“I asked you a question, Sam,” Mr. Schue is saying, pulling Sam’s attention from the other football player.

“Oh,” Sam rubs his hands together nervously and flicks his eyes around the room, they’re all staring at him and he doesn’t even want to know what they’re thinking.

Wonderful for him that Puck can’t keep a single thought to himself. “Yeah, so stop daydreaming about Doll Face over there and pay attention.”

There are a couple of people who laugh and snicker and Sam feels his face heat up in embarrassment. When he looks up again, he catches Kurt’s confused gaze and oh God, the last thing he wants is for Kurt to find out.

“What uh- was the question?” Sam clears his throat and asks.

“Oh, I was just wondering if you could come up here and show us another few moves.”

Sam agrees and stands up to walk to the front of the room while Kurt returns to his seat. He’s sure that his blush doesn’t go away for the rest of the class period and he is unable to meet anyone’s eyes after.

3

Of all people to catch him after class, it just has to be Kurt.

Sam has been trying to convince him for weeks now that what he’s been feeling is just some stupid crush (something less than that, even) and every time he thinks he’s getting better – he’s sleeping easily and holding conversations with the boy without embarrassing himself – it just has to be Puck that unravels it all.

“I know Puck can be a dick sometimes,” Kurt is saying to him while they walk out of the choir room. They share the next class but usually Sam takes the long way around so he can avoid panting after Kurt the entire walk.

“But he got me thinking,” Kurt continues. “You have been watching me a lot lately, haven’t you?”

“I uh…” Sam is screwed.

They are walking close together (Sam tells himself that it’s because the hallway is crowded and so they have to walk this close in order to hear each other and to not get trampled) and Kurt is watching him with piercing blue eyes. He holds his chin out and shoulders back, so much confidence oozes from him.

“It’s okay,” Kurt says when Sam doesn’t talk for a few seconds.

Sam holds his breath, waiting for the other shoe (in the form of Kurt’s patronizing kindness and speech about how he just shouldn’t be so obvious about his crush) to drop and stomp on Sam’s fingers that are barely holding him to the ledge of this cliff above the endless waters of self-consciousness and awkwardness that he is about to be surrendered to.

“Okay?” Sam echoes in disbelief.

“Yeah, I mean- I don’t really know for sure why you have been, but regardless, it’s flattering.”

Sam watches Kurt’s usually pale and ceramic cheeks tint pink as he ducks his head and watches his feet for a few steps. This confuses Sam more than his words have – what the hell does Kurt have to be embarrassed for? It’s Sam with the silly crush here, not him.

“Is it flattering or creepy?” Sam asks because he has to, he has to know that he hasn’t come off as too strong at all or it won’t let him sleep.

“You think someone having a crush is creepy?” Kurt stops abruptly and turns to look at Sam head on.

The shorter boy’s abruptness shocks Sam into an honest answer, “What- who said I had a crush on you?”

It came out a little rougher than he meant to, but he was sure that “watching someone” and “having a crush on someone” were two different types of attraction and Sam hasn’t even figured out if he’s into all guys yet. And since he’s pretty sure there is no sexuality dedicated to just being attracted to Kurt Hummel, it has been taking him a while to figure things out. So, the part of himself that he’s been trying to keep hidden and protected for a few weeks now panicked and snapped out the question instead of using the reasoning tone like he had been planning on.

“I- oh.” Kurt says at first, meeting his eyes for only a second before he rocks on his feet nervously and looks at the ground again. “I just thought- uh, well I hoped, actually, that maybe you did.”

“You- wait,” Sam’s hands shake while his head rushes as his brain processes what he just said. “You hoped?”

A smile graces Kurt’s mouth and Sam loves it so much, and the blush that grows darker as he scuffs his feet on the tiled floor. The hallway is emptying out and the bell that will signal their tardiness is going to ring soon and Sam doesn’t think there has been anything else that he cares less about. There is this warmth blooming in his chest and shit- maybe this is a little more than a simple crush.

“Y-yeah,” Kurt breathes, he looks up and his smile grows at the obvious hope mirrored on Sam’s face. His shoulder lifts in a casual shrug. “I was hoping that you liked me, too.”

Too. Sam’s heart skids almost-painfully in his chest and he gasps at the word, all of his emotions plainly broadcasted on his face.

“Uh,” Sam is grasping at what to say next. Kurt’s cheeky grin shares that he knows that Sam likes him too and is now just being awkward, but Sam has no idea what to do or say. “I don’t really know how to- umm…” Sam breaks off in an awkward laugh and rubs the back of his neck.

“You don’t know how to what?” Kurt tries. His hand raises halfway between the two of them, like he was going to touch Sam but thought against it, and then he glares at the limb as if it offended him before dropping it to his side again.

“I don’t know what to say- like, I want you to know that I do like you, but I’m just not sure how-“

“But you do like me?”

“Yes,” Sam confirms.

If Sam thought his simple grin was cute, then it is nothing for the breath-takingly beautiful way he smiles wide enough to show his teeth and crinkle his eyes. His entire face lights up with joy, and Sam’s not sure when he stopped breathing because the sight makes him gasp and the rush of oxygen is almost euphoric.

“Are you serious?” Kurt asks, trying to get his expression under control and take on a serious tone.

When Sam grins, though, he gets to see his pretty smile once more.

Part of him cannot believe that they just admitted to something like this and are now staring at each other like goofy idiots in the middle of an otherwise abandoned hallway (the bell must have rung already but neither of them are making a move towards the classroom still). Sam doesn’t want to be anywhere else.

“Of course.”

“Well then, now what?” Kurt asks and one of his eyebrows quirk up and Sam finds it so incredibly adorable. Okay, so maybe he isn’t trying to pretend like nothing is going on – but at least it is no longer a problem.

“I don’t-“ he starts, but then something occurs to him. There is one thing that he wants to do, something that he’s been thinking about for a while and now he might have the opportunity to do. “Oh, uh, can I kiss you?” Sam asks hurriedly.

“Right here?” Kurt looks around.

Sam sees that there is no one else except them, their voices echo a little bit even. All of the surrounding classroom doors are closed and they aren’t standing in the view of any of them anyways. “Why not?”

“Uhh…” Kurt glances down at his hands again and then back up. “I don’t know how- and I know you’ve kissed a lot-“

Sam is quick to amend him, “but never another boy. I’m just as nervous,” he sticks his hand out and they both look down to watch it shake a little. Sam feels like a strong wind could knock him down with how weak-kneed he feels.

“I mean, sure- yes.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, please?”

Sam laughs, a genuine laugh, and rocks back and forth on his feet a little bit. He rubs his palms on his thighs, drying the sweat from them, and licks his lips nervously. Also looks a little nervous and he licks his lips after watching Sam first.

“Yeah, right- so…” Sam mumbles before starting to lean down.

Kurt takes a tiny step forward so that they are standing a lot closer than Sam had anticipated and he accidently smacks their foreheads together. They spring apart instantly.

“Ouch,” Kurt breathes and brings a hand up to his head.

Sam mentally curses himself out. “I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s okay, Sam,” Kurt giggles and tilts his chin up and levels the tall blonde with another stare.

“Oh- uh, okay.”

Sam leans down again, this time keeping his eyes open enough to watch what he’s doing more. Then he gets close enough and he can’t keep his eyes open without going cross-eyed (which hurts his head, so he’d rather not do that) and so he slips them closed. Then their lips connect.

It’s only for a split second and then Kurt is pulling back.

Sam opens his eyes and his eyebrows shuffle down in confusion. But before he can even full wonder why Kurt pulled away so quickly, the boy is speaking.

“Oh God, was that too quick? I wasn’t sure what we were doing, and I thought it was gonna be a quick kiss, but I’m so sorry I-“

Sam’s laughter cuts him off. How can Kurt, who is usually so confident and sure of himself, be so freaking self-conscious now? Sam finds it endearing, actually, that his nervous and awkwardness are evenly matched here.

“You’re adorable,” he says. He slowly picks up a hand and holds it up to Kurt’s face, giving him ample time to pull away if he’d wished to, he doesn’t. So, Sam cups Kurt’s jaw and pulls the boy in for another, longer kiss.

When their lips touch Sam realizes that it really isn’t much different from kissing a girl (what with how soft and nice to touch Kurt’s skin and lips are) and he knows how to kiss a girl, so he presses his lips in a little harder before turning his head to the side to better slot their mouths together.

It turns out that Kurt doesn’t really know what he’s doing so Sam keeps it sweet and brief. Their lips make a wet suction sound when they separate. Sam watches Kurt’s eyes flutter open and he is still so beautiful up this close.

When Sam straightens up fully, ignoring the way his back pops in like ten different places, Kurt squints at him. “What?” he asks.

“That’s it?” Kurt grumps.

Sam genuinely laughs and, much more gently this time, presses his foreheads together. “We have to get to cl-“

Kurt sneaks in for another sweet press of their lips and Sam feels hands on his waist and the warm weight of them is one of the best feelings he’s ever felt.

But it only lasts for a second before all of him is gone and he’s standing a few steps ahead of Sam, walking in the direction of the class that they are now tardy for.

“You’re right,” he calls over his shoulder, his voice bouncing around the empty hallway. “We should get to class!”

Sam laughs and chases after Kurt.

He’s not sure if this makes them boyfriends or not, nor does it help him figure out the puzzle that still is his sexuality, but it still does matter to Sam. And it matters to Kurt if the way that he’s walking lighter and grinning much easier says anything. They’ll talk about it eventually, but for now, he’s just going to remember the feeling of the boy’s lips against his own.

Sam almost forgets that they share this class with a couple of other glee kids and so when they walk inside and he meets Mike’s eyes after accepting his tardy from the teacher, he is a little shaken. He watches Mike’s eyes flit back and forth between Sam and Kurt before raising an eyebrow at Sam when the pair of boys take their seats. Sam just shrugs he knows that his blush tells the whole story.

Later that hour, he gets a note passed to him and reads:

you will be telling me everything after class -mike

Sam grins and tucks the note into the folder that he had and pays attention to class. He’s sure that by glee club tomorrow, the whole group will know that something is going on and Sam doesn’t have it in him to be mad at how quickly gossip spreads.

1

Sam most definitely does not have an issue. Nope. Definitely not. 

He doesn’t watch the way the drumstick twirls expertly between slim fingers and he most definitely does not watch the muscles and tendons in the arm twitch and bulge with the movement of said drumstick. He doesn’t because he doesn’t have an issue at all – it’s that simple.

Sam crosses his arms and shifts on his feet, so entirely thankful of the distraction that Rachel offers the group. Apparently now she’s not getting a nose job – which Sam never saw the problem with (if it didn’t harm her or anyone else, who where they to tell her that she shouldn’t?) – and Sam is glad that she’s choosing this moment to announce it.

Especially because it gives Sam more time to not stare at Kurt’s slim waist, cocked hip, and almost bored expression. Gah, how much that looks stirs something inside of Sam is kind of ridiculous.

“Sam?” Mike is cocking his head and before Sam can focus on his buddy, Mike is following his line of sight.

“Oh,” is all Mike says. The tall Asian man claps him on the shoulder and gives him a pitied look.

Sam jerks back because he doesn’t know what that means at all, but he doesn’t want Mike to be assuming things. He wasn’t staring at Kurt or watching the way his hair sways when he moves because it’s standing up and sexily – artfully – tousled. He doesn’t want Mike reading into things that aren’t there.

This isn’t the first time since Kurt transferred back that Sam has had to try to bullshit himself about his feelings.

The feelings that he’s still trying to convince himself that don’t exist are the same ones that keep his heart thrumming quickly against his sternum every time the other boy comes into the room and the same ones that keep him up all night. Fantasies, both light-hearted sweet and dirty, keep him up and make him tired for school the next day, but he doesn’t have it in him to get upset at himself. He’s been trying to come around to this whole new set of feelings that seem to have just been plopped into his lap.

The glee club walks off stage. Now that Rachel is here, they will be running through the Lady Gaga routine. They’ve got it near-perfect, and this is the first dress rehearsal – which, as far as Sam can tell, is them making great progress.

“Look,” Sam catches Mike’s arm, stopping the other teen from following the rest of the group in. Sam waits until Artie has rolled off stage until he drops his voice to a whisper, eyes scanning the room to see if they’re being listened to or not, “I don’t know what you think you saw, but bro-“

Mike interrupts him, “You’re in denial still?”

“What?” he asks dumbly.

Mike glances up to where Sam knows – has no idea actually, because he hadn’t been watching him – Kurt is and then looks back at Sam. “I went through the same thing, Tina helped me figure it out and she’s been really supportive. So all I’m saying is that I get it.”

Sam may be a little slow to grasp things sometimes, but is Mike saying what he thinks he’s saying? “What?” he asks again because he’s not sure what else to say.

“Come on, guys,” Mr. Schuester ushers the two of them off the stage the rest of the way.

“I’m here if you need,” Mike smiles politely at him and goes over to his girlfriend and wraps his arms around her in a tight but quick hug. Then Tina, Mercedes, and Kurt are marching past Sam to go back onto the stage – oh right, they start the number. 

Sam tries to watch the performance as innocently as everyone else does until his cue pulls him out onto the stage with the rest of his friends.

2

Two days later, the glee club master the “Born This Way” performance and then they are back in the choir room and Mr. Schue is giving out the newest lesson. Sam is only partially paying attention because it is getting to the end of the school year and spring is in full swing (with the summer heat right on its tail) and the choir room has always had poor circulation meaning they froze in the winter and now that it’s warming up everyone is quick to shed their layers – including Kurt.

Dressed down to just a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, Sam can’t help but notice how different he is from the boy who left McKinley earlier this year. He had been shorter and way skinnier (Sam realizes now that he must not have been eating properly) and now that he’s grown and filled out a little bit, people can’t help but notice him when he walks into a room. Especially today with his pale arms and long neck on full display.

The week’s lesson is a simple touch-up on the group’s choreography because Schue says something about not wanting to start anything too strong when they are getting close to when they should start preparing for nationals.

He then uses Kurt to demonstrate a few of their known moves and Sam’s in his own personal hell because he should be watching the way Kurt keeps his back straight and poised while he spins and how his foot flexes and keeps a perfect point outwards when he kicks his leg into the air, not the way the tendons in his neck flex when he bends down or the way his pants hug his ass and crotch so perfectly as if he’d chosen them for that very reason.

Sam’s mouth floods with saliva when he thinks about what those pants are hiding, and he feels like a disgusting predator. Kurt had just gotten back to his school and friends after needing to escape from an abusive closeted gay boy – what the hell is Sam thinking that he’s doing?

But then Kurt finished the short set of moves with a flick of his hair, standing more up from his face than laying relaxed on his forehead like Sam remembers it from before. And Sam knows that he loves Kurt’s hair, he’s not sure why, but it’s one of the many attractive things about this boy-

Someone aggressively kicks his chair. He jerks forward and almost falls out of it and onto the floor.

“What the-“ he turns and sees Mike glaring at him.

“I asked you a question, Sam,” Mr. Schue is saying, pulling Sam’s attention from the other football player.

“Oh,” Sam rubs his hands together nervously and flicks his eyes around the room, they’re all staring at him and he doesn’t even want to know what they’re thinking.

Wonderful for him that Puck can’t keep a single thought to himself. “Yeah, so stop daydreaming about Doll Face over there and pay attention.”

There are a couple of people who laugh and snicker and Sam feels his face heat up in embarrassment. When he looks up again, he catches Kurt’s confused gaze and oh God, the last thing he wants is for Kurt to find out.

“What uh- was the question?” Sam clears his throat and asks.

“Oh, I was just wondering if you could come up here and show us another few moves.”

Sam agrees and stands up to walk to the front of the room while Kurt returns to his seat. He’s sure that his blush doesn’t go away for the rest of the class period and he is unable to meet anyone’s eyes after.

3

Of all people to catch him after class, it just has to be Kurt.

Sam has been trying to convince him for weeks now that what he’s been feeling is just some stupid crush (something less than that, even) and every time he thinks he’s getting better – he’s sleeping easily and holding conversations with the boy without embarrassing himself – it just has to be Puck that unravels it all.

“I know Puck can be a dick sometimes,” Kurt is saying to him while they walk out of the choir room. They share the next class but usually Sam takes the long way around so he can avoid panting after Kurt the entire walk.

“But he got me thinking,” Kurt continues. “You have been watching me a lot lately, haven’t you?”

“I uh…” Sam is screwed.

They are walking close together (Sam tells himself that it’s because the hallway is crowded and so they have to walk this close in order to hear each other and to not get trampled) and Kurt is watching him with piercing blue eyes. He holds his chin out and shoulders back, so much confidence oozes from him.

“It’s okay,” Kurt says when Sam doesn’t talk for a few seconds.

Sam holds his breath, waiting for the other shoe (in the form of Kurt’s patronizing kindness and speech about how he just shouldn’t be so obvious about his crush) to drop and stomp on Sam’s fingers that are barely holding him to the ledge of this cliff above the endless waters of self-consciousness and awkwardness that he is about to be surrendered to.

“Okay?” Sam echoes in disbelief.

“Yeah, I mean- I don’t really know for sure why you have been, but regardless, it’s flattering.”

Sam watches Kurt’s usually pale and ceramic cheeks tint pink as he ducks his head and watches his feet for a few steps. This confuses Sam more than his words have – what the hell does Kurt have to be embarrassed for? It’s Sam with the silly crush here, not him.

“Is it flattering or creepy?” Sam asks because he has to, he has to know that he hasn’t come off as too strong at all or it won’t let him sleep.

“You think someone having a crush is creepy?” Kurt stops abruptly and turns to look at Sam head on.

The shorter boy’s abruptness shocks Sam into an honest answer, “What- who said I had a crush on you?”

It came out a little rougher than he meant to, but he was sure that “watching someone” and “having a crush on someone” were two different types of attraction and Sam hasn’t even figured out if he’s into all guys yet. And since he’s pretty sure there is no sexuality dedicated to just being attracted to Kurt Hummel, it has been taking him a while to figure things out. So, the part of himself that he’s been trying to keep hidden and protected for a few weeks now panicked and snapped out the question instead of using the reasoning tone like he had been planning on.

“I- oh.” Kurt says at first, meeting his eyes for only a second before he rocks on his feet nervously and looks at the ground again. “I just thought- uh, well I hoped, actually, that maybe you did.”

“You- wait,” Sam’s hands shake while his head rushes as his brain processes what he just said. “You hoped?”

A smile graces Kurt’s mouth and Sam loves it so much, and the blush that grows darker as he scuffs his feet on the tiled floor. The hallway is emptying out and the bell that will signal their tardiness is going to ring soon and Sam doesn’t think there has been anything else that he cares less about. There is this warmth blooming in his chest and shit- maybe this is a little more than a simple crush.

“Y-yeah,” Kurt breathes, he looks up and his smile grows at the obvious hope mirrored on Sam’s face. His shoulder lifts in a casual shrug. “I was hoping that you liked me, too.”

Too. Sam’s heart skids almost-painfully in his chest and he gasps at the word, all of his emotions plainly broadcasted on his face.

“Uh,” Sam is grasping at what to say next. Kurt’s cheeky grin shares that he knows that Sam likes him too and is now just being awkward, but Sam has no idea what to do or say. “I don’t really know how to- umm…” Sam breaks off in an awkward laugh and rubs the back of his neck.

“You don’t know how to what?” Kurt tries. His hand raises halfway between the two of them, like he was going to touch Sam but thought against it, and then he glares at the limb as if it offended him before dropping it to his side again.

“I don’t know what to say- like, I want you to know that I do like you, but I’m just not sure how-“

“But you do like me?”

“Yes,” Sam confirms.

If Sam thought his simple grin was cute, then it is nothing for the breath-takingly beautiful way he smiles wide enough to show his teeth and crinkle his eyes. His entire face lights up with joy, and Sam’s not sure when he stopped breathing because the sight makes him gasp and the rush of oxygen is almost euphoric.

“Are you serious?” Kurt asks, trying to get his expression under control and take on a serious tone.

When Sam grins, though, he gets to see his pretty smile once more.

Part of him cannot believe that they just admitted to something like this and are now staring at each other like goofy idiots in the middle of an otherwise abandoned hallway (the bell must have rung already but neither of them are making a move towards the classroom still). Sam doesn’t want to be anywhere else.

“Of course.”

“Well then, now what?” Kurt asks and one of his eyebrows quirk up and Sam finds it so incredibly adorable. Okay, so maybe he isn’t trying to pretend like nothing is going on – but at least it is no longer a problem.

“I don’t-“ he starts, but then something occurs to him. There is one thing that he wants to do, something that he’s been thinking about for a while and now he might have the opportunity to do. “Oh, uh, can I kiss you?” Sam asks hurriedly.

“Right here?” Kurt looks around.

Sam sees that there is no one else except them, their voices echo a little bit even. All of the surrounding classroom doors are closed and they aren’t standing in the view of any of them anyways. “Why not?”

“Uhh…” Kurt glances down at his hands again and then back up. “I don’t know how- and I know you’ve kissed a lot-“

Sam is quick to amend him, “but never another boy. I’m just as nervous,” he sticks his hand out and they both look down to watch it shake a little. Sam feels like a strong wind could knock him down with how weak-kneed he feels.

“I mean, sure- yes.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, please?”

Sam laughs, a genuine laugh, and rocks back and forth on his feet a little bit. He rubs his palms on his thighs, drying the sweat from them, and licks his lips nervously. Also looks a little nervous and he licks his lips after watching Sam first.

“Yeah, right- so…” Sam mumbles before starting to lean down.

Kurt takes a tiny step forward so that they are standing a lot closer than Sam had anticipated and he accidently smacks their foreheads together. They spring apart instantly.

“Ouch,” Kurt breathes and brings a hand up to his head.

Sam mentally curses himself out. “I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s okay, Sam,” Kurt giggles and tilts his chin up and levels the tall blonde with another stare.

“Oh- uh, okay.”

Sam leans down again, this time keeping his eyes open enough to watch what he’s doing more. Then he gets close enough and he can’t keep his eyes open without going cross-eyed (which hurts his head, so he’d rather not do that) and so he slips them closed. Then their lips connect.

It’s only for a split second and then Kurt is pulling back.

Sam opens his eyes and his eyebrows shuffle down in confusion. But before he can even full wonder why Kurt pulled away so quickly, the boy is speaking.

“Oh God, was that too quick? I wasn’t sure what we were doing, and I thought it was gonna be a quick kiss, but I’m so sorry I-“

Sam’s laughter cuts him off. How can Kurt, who is usually so confident and sure of himself, be so freaking self-conscious now? Sam finds it endearing, actually, that his nervous and awkwardness are evenly matched here.

“You’re adorable,” he says. He slowly picks up a hand and holds it up to Kurt’s face, giving him ample time to pull away if he’d wished to, he doesn’t. So, Sam cups Kurt’s jaw and pulls the boy in for another, longer kiss.

When their lips touch Sam realizes that it really isn’t much different from kissing a girl (what with how soft and nice to touch Kurt’s skin and lips are) and he knows how to kiss a girl, so he presses his lips in a little harder before turning his head to the side to better slot their mouths together.

It turns out that Kurt doesn’t really know what he’s doing so Sam keeps it sweet and brief. Their lips make a wet suction sound when they separate. Sam watches Kurt’s eyes flutter open and he is still so beautiful up this close.

When Sam straightens up fully, ignoring the way his back pops in like ten different places, Kurt squints at him. “What?” he asks.

“That’s it?” Kurt grumps.

Sam genuinely laughs and, much more gently this time, presses his foreheads together. “We have to get to cl-“

Kurt sneaks in for another sweet press of their lips and Sam feels hands on his waist and the warm weight of them is one of the best feelings he’s ever felt.

But it only lasts for a second before all of him is gone and he’s standing a few steps ahead of Sam, walking in the direction of the class that they are now tardy for.

“You’re right,” he calls over his shoulder, his voice bouncing around the empty hallway. “We should get to class!”

Sam laughs and chases after Kurt.

He’s not sure if this makes them boyfriends or not, nor does it help him figure out the puzzle that still is his sexuality, but it still does matter to Sam. And it matters to Kurt if the way that he’s walking lighter and grinning much easier says anything. They’ll talk about it eventually, but for now, he’s just going to remember the feeling of the boy’s lips against his own.

Sam almost forgets that they share this class with a couple of other glee kids and so when they walk inside and he meets Mike’s eyes after accepting his tardy from the teacher, he is a little shaken. He watches Mike’s eyes flit back and forth between Sam and Kurt before raising an eyebrow at Sam when the pair of boys take their seats. Sam just shrugs he knows that his blush tells the whole story.

Later that hour, he gets a note passed to him and reads:

you will be telling me everything after class -mike

Sam grins and tucks the note into the folder that he had and pays attention to class. He’s sure that by glee club tomorrow, the whole group will know that something is going on and Sam doesn’t have it in him to be mad at how quickly gossip spreads.