i am slightly more normal around friendns this is just kike a public diary thing idk
blog is 18+... sinply because i am an adilt and dont want to censore myself... (would i need to though im not sure...)
also i Do not hafe bpd actually (i think..... i suspiciously relate to a lot of charctsers that are diagnosed with it by the internet ...) .im just exttremely codepenedtn wehn i am inlove and fear abandomnet. anxious attachment perhaps? to the point that i cannot be in a normal relationship or i will either slowly wither away or tweak out.
i love my stupid gay chud gusband❤️ do not flirt with me you will be boiled. i dont thin janyone actually will and my anons aee off anyway but. 😛
i need to xling onto him like a leech
yan types: RDHL OXRI (i can be more distant, but it gets emotionally exhausting and painful very quickly, so id rather not,) DSXT (i prefer neither method lol,,, i've gotten angry enough to consider violence but could never actually act on it.... okay wait i maybe emotionally manipulative at my worst but its not malicious im just sad) OCDAF (i am casual in the sense that i give up easily, but i go insane if i try to stay friendly with someone i have feelings for. and i am not very good at masking, and prefer not to, as i was a people pleaser my entire life until recently. id say my feelings are still intense, and i feel greedy for affection when im anxious, but im too much of a pushover to do much about it but whine) Type Nine: The Lapdog (with a bit of 5 in that i am curious when i am interested in someone and i fixate on them, and 7 in that im delusional and reckless, but not noncommittal in the slightest. i just switch into like doomsday mode anytime someone leaves and it feels like the end of the world. so its hard to like. if i dont forget it quickly i rot and cry all day everyday. or feel empty at best. my fears also make me impulsive. im trying to work on being more patient though, i'm doing a bit better (i don't think i can stop tweaking out entirely though lol).)
this: delusional (love), dependent (love and shock; but only purposeful if i feel secure enough), harmless (love; though i've been trying to be less of a people pleaser), monopoly (love), obsessive (love; if someone im fixated on has a lot of info in posts ill look through them for hours...), self sacrifice (love), stalking (love; not so much irl, though id do it if given consent), worshipping (love; only somewhat, though it was to the shock extent when i was younger, lol...), wrong idea (love; only when i was younger and waaay more delusional... though it still happens sometimes rarely)
types i am interested in: bizarre seeking (love), delusional (love), dependent (love and shock), harmless (love and shock), monopoly (love), obsessive (love and shock), protective (love; im a big pushover so,, hehe), restraints (love), self sacrifice (love), stalking (love and shock)
i a/m a pretty pathetic yan myself, if i can even be considered one? maybe if i was less of a pushover.
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this is going around twitter rn but im also super curious: please tell me your top four comfort movies that you’re always down to watch bc my friend thinks mine are ridiculous and now we’ve realised everyone’s version of “comfort” is hilariously different
guy who's having gauzy idealized wife flashbacks for the whole adventure but it turns out she isn't dead or anything he just really misses her and wants to get home
i cant fucking sleep my parents keep fucking its gdriving me insnae
SHE KEEPS TELLING ME ITS MY SISTER BUT TIS NOOTTT YOUR SENDING VIBRATIONS THEOUGH THE FUXKING HOUSE AND ITS ALL NOGHTTTTT EVERY DAYYYY
ITS COMING FORM THEIR DIRECTIONNNNN AND IT STINKS LIKE ASSS TOO
idont even know how i smell it im justcursed
i cant sleep every noght i have to play a vfuckin gvideo max volume and force myself to sleep oevr that every fucking morning i wake up with a migraine THEY TURNED OFF THE FUCKING INTENRYS ON MY COMPUTER TOO SO I HAVE N OCHOICE BUT TO LISTEN OR DO BORING SHIT AUGGHH
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I wish I took a better pic of this writing in a bar bathroom in toronto bc I think of it so often. Be So Completely Yourself That No One Is Attracted To You Or Wants To Employ You
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is there canon evidence that barb has a torture room apart from mammon sayin maybe he does?? i mean mammon sayin that just isn't believable for me lol. do you think he does? i think it's def possible. man sus asf.
Well, there is no outright canon mention of it aside from that moment -- though, Diavolo and Lucifer and all are right there in that scene, and no one says that Mammon is wrong. Plus, Mammon also mentions the labyrinth and a monster living there that eats demon-innards.
We learn soon enough afterwards that the labyrinth and Henry 1.0 do exist down below the castle. And we also know that there are dungeons in general under the castle -- so, all in all, there isn't much reason to assume Mammon is wrong!
Also ... this is Barbatos we're talking about. The same demon who said this during Luke's birthday event:
...And on his own birthday UR card, is seemingly surrounded by some kinds of torture devices.
Considering the other characters also mention Barbatos seeming like he's always scheming or sketchy, like Levi's and Asmo's home screen lines about him, we're pretty satisfied with assuming the torture dungeon thing is true, even if there's not additional proof.
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armand is on some bullshit too why is he forcing louis' grown ass mpreg baby to wear a baby doll outfit and act like a little kid 500 fucking times what. whay
literally putting her through psyxhological torture and for what
“The way I think about it is they’ve been alone in the world until they recognized something in the other that made them feel not alone, which is as good a description of love as you can have, I suppose.”
-Hugh Dancy