God's most tired queer

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・

Heyo! I'm a fictionkin/alterhuman! This blog will change its focus depending upon my main kin.

Some info about me:

✩ I'm 20, while this blog isn't NSFW, I would like people interacting with me (personally, like DMs and the like. Anyone can like or interact with posts) to be 18+ (or at least close to it)

✮ My pronouns are he/they/it/e and I'm queer

✩ I would love to talk to other kins or anything who shares my interests, I'm mainly active on Discord so feel free to ask for it :]

✮ My carrd

Kinlist!

I hate how I am. I don't know how best to explain it. I have bouts of wanting a lot of interaction and seeking it out to physically feeling like I can't talk to anyone. It's so annoying because even in the lows, I want to talk to people. I just physically can't get myself to do so. I tense up and just feel this pit inside me. But I do really want to talk and make friends. I feel bad relying on them to start the conversation (unless we're good friends, then I'll typically open with something small but for new people, I either can't bring myself to send the first message or it just gets awkward fast).

I know the only way to get better is to actually reach out, talk to people, and stop isolating myself. However, it's really really hard, especially online for me. While I'm pretty good at having conversations and connections when others lead/start it, I can't just rely on others. I don't want to be like that. But there's some part of me that says it's better for them and me if I just don't let them know me. Because in the end, it'll all fall apart. I just can't seem to tell the people I care about this because I don't want to load my emotions onto them. But it's even shitty in my mind to make a friend just to have someone to talk about my stuff with. I've been that friend before and it sucked. I just feel invalid and stupid and honestly, I don't even know why I'm writing all this. I just don't know how to properly cope with anything anymore that doesn't hurt me or bigger problems that I'm now dealing with.

Hey, if any 18+ Stranger Things fictionkins (especially any of the older teens) would like to talk/be friends, please interact 🙏