[160415]Â NCT Debut Stage - Taeyong
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[160415]Â NCT Debut Stage - Taeyong

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I'm sorry to inform this so late, but I'm gonna be gone for an entire week-- more than likely without internet the whole time. I'm sorry for my absence lately too-- I'll do my best to participate in stuff again after the holidays!
Feeling Next To Nothing | Nayeli | Chapter 5 | ATTN: Kai
Not removing her thumb from her mouth, Nayeli frowned at the other.
âWhaâ tâe phuck?â
Okay, bye thumb, you were comforting while you lasted.
â[..I donât w-want to..? A-and.. Iâve been a-ac-acting horribly too. Iâm sorry, Iâm so sorry I.. Iâm really not good at this whole.. friend thing. I fo-forget that I have friends and I end up focusing on one person an-andd.. I donât think coherently wh-when I fre-freak out. A-and I shouldnât be saying this.]â
Nayeli sighed, dismally at that.
ââŚ[Kai.. I just think that it;d be safer to ge-get-get to know each other first. We jumped into th-this thing all headlong and⌠now⌠itâs not good, to be blunt. Youâve told me about your backstory, youâve told me all these horrible, awful things that happened and things youâve done, but⌠I still donât know Kai. I donât know Kai, or who he is, at all. A-and.. and you donât know Nayeli.]â
Shaking her head a little, Nayeli brushed her hair back, before sighing.
â..[ I wa-want to get to know Kai, and Iâm fine with letting you get to know Nayeli, if you want to. I want to make up for me being a bad br-bro too.]â
â[.........The Kai you want to know... you already do.]â He sighed.Â
â[The real Kai is who you see now. A lying bastard without emotion who only acts accordingly to what he thinks he should behave like. I just... I just donât get others. Iâm unable to feel pain for them.]â
â[...The only reason why I care for you is because youâre practically the first one who considered me a friend here. Itâs more of a pride-thing than genuine care. Itâs more of a âI benefit from you so I donât want to lose youâ-thing.]â
He looked right into Nayeliâs eyes, blinking slightly. He didnât even look ashamed-- he just... said what he did. With no emotion.Â
â[I recognize that itâs a problem, and I understand that itâs not how a person should feel, but... I donât know what else to do. I just... I just donât.]â
He looked down, empty eyes focusing on his wounded hand.Â
â[...I... just donât understand...]â
Feeling Next To Nothing | Nayeli | Chapter 5 | ATTN: Kai
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ..
After the trial, Nayeli was left alone with her thoughts. She couldnât seem to comprehend anything after Aden speaks in trial, and she looks⌠blank, mostly. She doesnât react to Aden coming back, apart from a quiet blink of acknowledgement. Any kind of people she sees, she immediately shies away from, and⌠she seems to have reverted to the shy girl that she was when she first arrived.
Making her way into the bedroom, the dancer flickered her eyes around the room, looking for any people around the room. Once her eyes settled on a specific person, she started, guiltily at that. Her shoulders tensed and her head ducked quickly. She quietly made her way to her bed, pulling her chest out and rummaging through it for a few seconds, trying to look like she was doing something with herself. She had originally planned to lie down, but she could just as easily curl up behind the bleachers.
Picking up one of her prizes, Nayeli squeezed the hand of the bear gently before picking it up and holding it close to her chest, settling her thumb in her mouth as she gazed down at her chest blankly.
It seemed like she was purposefully trying to avoid talking to Kai, but her quick glances towards him became a little too frequent, and soon she was gazing at him, an anxious and perplexed look crossing her eyes.
â,,,HmhnhmmâŚâ
She mumbled something incoherent through her thumb, clearly sounding afraid, and worried.
â[...If you want to insult me or point something out, feel free to]â, Kai eventually said, giving Nayeli a tired look. His eyes were vacant as usual at this point.Â
â[.........I have been acting pretty shitty recently, so you can say whatever you want - or not.]â He closed his eyes, remaining still. â[I can tell youâre not into the idea of talking to me. I never was a good bro to begin with.]â
He just seemed... defeated by now. He just didnât feel like anything anymore.Â
@shslrubegoldberg
hi pate
guess what ive been drawing for like few days

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Storybook Pages | Chapter 4 Murder
art credit: x
Big Brother File:
Name: Huang Yi Chen
Time of Discovery: 3:30 AM
Location: Have Not Room
Cause of Death:Â Ballistic Trauma
art credit: x
Big Brother File:
Name: Ritsuka Kamata
Time of Discovery: 3:30 AM
Location: Have Not Room
Cause of Death:Â Exsanguination
Two bodies. Bloody deaths. Why? Why did this continue? Why was this going on? The scent of iron and salt assaulted your nose, but at this point, who wasnât used to the scent? Nevertheless, the sight was still horrible. Two lives gone- and there was nothing you could do about itâŚ
Or was there? Neverâs voice cackles throughout the house, as if she was always awake during these wee hours of morning⌠and she announces with a cheery voice the nominations for this week.
âYumiko and Kai are up for execution~.â
Realizing My Mistake | Chapter 4 Murder
Itâs not working. I suppose itâll never work for her, then. The students may be ever living. But Naomi will remain ever dead.
   It seems every murder appears to happen in the morning. But of course. Itâs the easiest to commit then, right? Though, this time, there is no alarm or pretty female voice alerting you to a body. No, this time, there is a series of gunshots jolting you from your slumber. It seems to come from the Have-Not Room. Suspicious of course. So, all of you rouse yourselves from sleep and head towards where the sound originated.
HEâS FINALLY DEAD. 8D
So i decided to draw the memes againâŚ..because yumikai is good.
@greenwworld
a target i'm probably gonna miss | Nayeli | Ch. 4 | Closed: Kai
Nayeli took a deep breath, and sat down on the bed adjacent to where Kai sat. She gazed at him with a concerned gaze. She waited for him to speak, and when he did, she felt her skin prickle with⌠horror.
YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD IT BAD, HUH? NEWSFLASH, NAYNAY, YOUâVE HAD IT PRETTY GREAT COMPARED TO HIM.
She tries to process this, thoughts flashing across her mind, too fast for her to comprehend them. She couldnât bear this.. she couldnât.. she couldnâtâŚ
â[Kai.. I.. This sounds so fucking pointless, but.. Iâm sorry. Iâm sorry that all that shit happened to you. It sounds horrible.]â
She just listens to him speak, her brows furrowing in concern for her friend, worry for her friend, and just a sense of sadness for him.
âReally? You want to care for me of all people? You really want to claim Iâm a good bromodachi after all Iâve done? Honey, Iâve done so much shit in this world, Iâve shat on innocent people because I didnât understand that I was in the wrong, Iâve broken hearts andâ Iâm just not someone you should want to be friends with, goddamnit!â
â[B..but you are, Kai. I⌠the past is in the past. We can dwell on it all we like, but.. we canât change it. You [[REDACTED]] on accident. It happened. Things happen for a reason. Sometimes reasons we canât explain. Itâs awful. Itâs horrible. We canât help that. At all. Iâm so sorry that it happened to you, but that doesnât change the fact that I want to be there  for you when you need people to stand by you.]â
She rubbed her forehead. Hard.Â
â[You shouldnât be rotting anywhere. Youâve had it hard.. but.. but killing yourself, and wanting to die.. it isnât the answer. It never is. You have so much potential, and you can use it. I know you can. I believe in you, Kai. I believe in you and thatâs all I can really do.. and I justâŚ]â
And with that, Nayeli shot forward, and hugged Kai again. She couldnât do anything but that, it seemed. She just hugged him, her arms draped over his shoulders and her knees knocking but she didnât care, she didnât care, she didnât care.
She just.. wanted him to be okay. She wanted to try and help him be okay. She just..
â[I seriously thought I had it hard, but.. gosh, Kai. Iâm so sorry.. I still want to try my best for you, okay? I just.. Iâm sorry.]â
Kai was honestly pretty dumbfounded. Nayeli... she was still being so persistent?Â
...Oh, oh no... What had he done?Â
Suddenly tears spilled from his eyes and he cluthed Nayeliâs shirt, burying his face in her shoulder. And he wept. Ah, what a pain. It was really annoying, bothering him constantly. Some part of him felt warm thanks to Nayeli, but...
Heâd made her like him by acting nice. He had no way of reversing that. If only, if only heâd just been himself, then she... then Nayeli wouldnât have to suffer with him. She could just hang with Ru Hui and not care at all. She could care for people who actually deserved it.Â
...He really wished he was just invisible. Or better, nonexistent. Maybe someone else couldâve been a better child to his parents. Maybe they wouldnât let everyone theyâd meet down.Â
â...âmsorry...â, he mumbled. Even if it was in Japanese, it was at least just a singular, common word he kept mumbling between sniffles.Â

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Thorns on Roses || Yumiko || Closed for: Kai
Blow after blow Yumiko took, she took in a deep breath closing her eyes. She could handle thisâŚshe knew she wasnât perfectâŚ.but she had to accept itâŚbut her boyfriend didnât seem to be in the best of moods so it was on her to keep herself together no matter how much it hurt. Itâs alright. Shes fine.
When he fell onto the grass and began to wheeze and choke and beat on the grass..calm down Kai shes fineâŚyouâre fineâŚ
âKaiâŚpleaseâŚdonât hurt yourselfâŚyour hand is already hurt enoughâŚ.pleaseâŚ.I donât want you to hurt yourselfâŚâ
She was panicking now as she tried to move to his side again, sorry Kai shes worried. She just ran her hand through his hair gentlyâŚand grabbed his non-injured hand from harming himself. She knew how this worked. He needed to get it oout of his system but she didnât want him hurting himself.
âKai. I understand. Please donât hurt yourself though, you shouldntâ die KaiâŚI love youâŚI really doâŚPlease donât say you should dieâŚive already lost everythingâŚIâŚI canât lose you tooâŚpleaseâŚ.pleaseâŚâ
She took a shaky breathâŚ
âYou didnât hurt me I promiseâŚit caught me off guard but Iâm fineâŚI never explained it to you anywaysâŚ.I shouldâŚ.I should thoughâŚ..I know I told you I have [REDACTED] but I neverâŚexplained the rest of it fromâŚfearâŚof youâŚpushing me awayâŚ.â
She took a deep breath in hopes he was calming downâŚ.
âIâŚ.I __________â
Now it was time to hope for the best
Honestly, hearing all of that just made things worse.Â
But really... He really shouldnât attract attention to himself, should he? He should just be good and support her. He couldnât be selfish here. Heâd caused her enough worry and sorrow, the least he could do is at least pretend sheâs helping him somewhat. Even if he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs, even if he wanted to yell that she only made him feel worse, that hearing the details only reminded of how awful he was-- he just took a deep breath and forced himself to fine.Â
âI-itâs fine, t-totally fine, i donât-- i couldnât-- dislike you, I mean, look at me, right? Wh--hhhhhh-- w-who would like a hypocrite, but I am one anyway so not much to save there, hahah, hah-- hhhhh--â
For granted, they had different problems. But to clarify: it was not her that was rolling in grass, clawing at their neck struggling for air.Â
â...I... I c-could... N-never push you away âcause something you did o-- or something that you are, I just--â He wheezes again. âI just-- r-really am shit, I donât think I deserve you a-at all, I-- Iâm so sorry, sosososorry--â
Well, he tried, but ended up begging for attention anyway. He felt like shit. He just... Please, something make this pain go away. Anything.Â
Thorns on Roses || Yumiko || Closed for: Kai
The amount of silence between them was chilling, but that didnât stop her from hugging him and gently patting his back. He wasnât doing well most likelyâŚwho would be at this point in time. She was tryingâŚ.oh god was she trying so hard not to slip back into that comfortable mindframe of [REDACTED] she had grown so fond of.
He hates it for a good reasonâŚ.but does that also meanâŚ..he hates her? Shes done itâŚ.hell she just got done doing that to Eri. So does that mean he no longer wants to be around herâŚshe shook though thought to the back of her mind with the rest of her self destructive thughts and just focused on him.
âYouâve treated me right, I can promise you that much. I havenât thought different of you at allâŚI still love you.â
I wish I wasnât some asshole of a lunatic
Oh. HeâŚhe doesnât like⌠[REDACTED]. Oh.
Itâs fine. I donât like myself either. Itâs fine. Itsfineitsfineitsfineitsfine.
Without even flinching or showing signs of distress she just hugged Kai a little tigheterâŚ.
âYouâŚarenât an asshole lunaticâŚto me..â
...Ah, those reactions. Of course. She had medication. He forgot. And he just--
A sob escaped his lungs all of a sudden and soon it escalated into something... disturbing. A laughter that hiccuped with each breath, his body shivering like no tomorrow.Â
âI-- I chn at-- h AH! Iâm-- I sa id a bad thing again-- o hhh my g OD Iâm-- h AHAHAHAâ, he wheezed, the mix of sobbing and laughter causing him to topple over and tear at the grass. Je sus--
âI canât-- I canât even treat you right, what fucking hope do I-- H ahaha HAHA I should just die, sh ould ve rotted away in Aok igaha ra like I int ended to, stupid Kaoru, stupid--! you shouldâv ej sut-- hEEHâ, he kept sputtering and wheezing.Â
Heâd hurt her. Heâd made her feel even worse. He was awful. He should leave. He shouldnât be near her. He should just die.Â
Just die, just die die die diediediediediediEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIDIEDIEDIE--
a target i'm probably gonna miss | Nayeli | Ch. 4 | Closed: Kai
Nayeli rubbed her arms a little, attempting to calm herself down a little after that outburst. Okay. Okay. Sheâd made her point, and now she had to wait. She hoped that nothing would go wrong.
â⌠[I care about plenty of people, okay? Youâre just one of those people I care about especially. I d-donât want to hate anyone. Iâm.. i I just want you to be okay, Kai.]â
A secret..? Nayeli couldnât help but feel her skin prickle with the word, and it made her feel a little sick. She couldnât say that, no.. no, she couldnât. She just needed to.. listen. With a careful sigh, Nayeli catches her breath, and leans in close to Kai.
â[Sure. If youâre okay with telling, Iâll listen.]â
He took a deep breath and exhaled shakily, finally getting up and flopping behind to sit on his bed. He made sure the room was empty before smiling at Nayeli, expression still hollow. But... there was clear pain laced with it. Like he didnât want to bother her, like he hoped sheâd just spare herself from him while she could.Â
â...yâmight wanna sit down for this. Probably not next to me, though.â
And then, with a slow inhale, he began to dump all of it on Nayeli. All of it. From start to finish. Obviously this is a gigantic [REDACTED] here.Â
Tune in for more soft angst aesthetic at 11--
a target i'm probably gonna miss | Nayeli | Ch. 4 | Closed: Kai
Nayeli feels herself tense up in complete and utter horror as Kai starts talking. She feels that sick feeling in her stomach get worse and worse as she canât do anything but stare at him, but the normal tears donât threaten her vision. No. These tears are heated with complete and utter fury. The ache in her throat made her want to scream, as she stared at Kai, waiting for him to finish.
â[You gotta be fuckinâ kidding me, Kai. Do you seriously think I hate you? Do you seriously think youâre a bad bromodachi? Because youâre not. You never fucking were, Kai. You were my first friend, for fucksâ sake! And yes, I fucking admit that I want someone to care for me, and as I found out, people can care for me! And Iâm glad because of that! But you know who I care for? FUCKING! YOU! I care for you no matter what the fuck you say, because you are my bro, and being a bro means that Iâll be there for you! I want to try to be there for you so fucking much, you donât even know!]â
Her voice is trembling, and sheâs so angry, her thoughts are perfectly articulated and ready to go. Sheâs ready to speak, and her stutter wonât hold her back.
â[You saying that was an accident. Iâm sorry, okay? I didnât mean to.. to freak out. It happened years ago, itâs unimportant. Whatâs important here is you. You are not an asshole to me, stop fucking!! Calling yourself one! Youâre amazing, Kai, okay? Youâre the first person I didnât freak out around or make cry in my first day here, damn it! You are the guy who holds that special place in my heart, okay? I care about you so fucking much, and I want to fucking! Help you!!!]â
She stops when Kai mentions that she shouldnât bother with him. She doesnât know what sheâs doing, but her teeth are gritted, and she grabs Kai by the shirt and raises her hand, giving him a sharp SLAPÂ across the face.Â
â[IâM NOT ABOUT TO FUCKING GIVE UP ON YOU NOW, KAI! YOUâRE NOT DOING ANYTHING OKAY? YOUâRE NOT FUCKING POISONING ME. YUMI-CHII DOES NOT LIKE YOU JUST FOR YOUR SPEECH AND YOUR BODY. SHE CAN SEE YOUâRE A GENUINE FUCKING GUY, WHO LOVES HER! YOU HAVE TO FUCKING TRY TO BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY THAT YOU ARE AMAZING, AND WONDERFUL, AND THIS GAME IS WHY YOUR THOUGHTS ARE GOING LIKE THIS!]â
Breathe deeply, and clench your fists in his shirt, staring him right in the eye. Hot, furious tears have ceased falling, and dry on her cheeks as she tries to compose herself.
â[You. Are my bromodachi. I. Am staying by you. I care for you, and I want you as a bromodachi. Okay? This is my choice, and you canât change that.]â
His mind blanked out with the slap.Â
He just stared at Nayeli. Ah, when was the last time he was slapped...? A week before being taken to the Big Brother house, if he correctly recalled. Heâd made it clear to the girl (whose name he never bothered to remember) that he was only in it for one night. She thought she could charm him, and got mad when he didnât keep contact. It hadnât been his fault, but she blamed him regardless. Of course she did. Who wouldnât want to slap him? Even his bro wanted to.
â...Heh.â
He only lowered his head after Nayeli finished. He cradled his hurt hand, staring at the blood absent-mindedly. Heâd grown used to it already. Weird.Â
â[.........You really have no better person to care about?]â, he mumbled. â[...I wonât stop you. Even if it would be better for you to just hate me, you do what you want to do.]â Tears still kept streaming from his eyes. It was kinda... exciting, actually. To have someone so devoted to you, even if you knew you didnât deserve it one bit. Ah... If only she knew how horrible he really was. ...But, speaking of which...
â[...............Hey, wanna hear a secret?]âÂ
If she were to be so loyal to him, he might as well reveal it. Not like he had anything to lose. If she made fun of him or hated him; he was fine with it. He didnât deserve her friendship in the first place.Â
Thorns on Roses || Yumiko || Closed for: Kai
Yumiko looked at him, she could see he was far from okay but she didnât comment much on it, in the end she was far from alright herselfâŚher face would explain the words not to be spoken. She looked like shit, almost like she had two black eyes if Kai didnât know any better.
âIâm glad she fixed your hand, you needed itâŚthere are some things Iâm just not qualified to do but I did my best from what my mother has taught meâŚI hope I didnât hurt you in the process thoughâŚdespite splinters being awfulâ
She didnât ask why he punched the podiumâŚhell she would have too and done much worse. Oh wait she did, she killed someone and had next to no remorseâŚdespite missing Eri. She wasnât any better than [REDACTED]
âI wouldnât either, after what she has attempted to pull time and time again, people falling for her deals like itâs their last hope..â
She wiped her tears from her face again, finally ceasing from falling for nowâŚit was about time her head was pounding from the cryingâŚ
When Kai said what he did she kind of tilted her head at him before scooting closer, being careful not to touch his injured hand and wrapping her arms around him in a hug before kissing his cheek.
âI love you Kai, people can say some bad stuff, even I say really bad thingsâŚI think really bad thingsâŚthe trial was awful and I didnât feel very bad for much of what I said. Eri had to die, Ru Hui didnât want her to.â
She looked at him again, these two didnât get much sleep but Yumiko still smiled at him..
âYou donât need to be sorry for something like that though, I love youâŚI really doâ
Kai took a deep breath and exhaled, leaning against whatever was behind him. He didnât particularly care for his surroundings anymore.Â
â...I just... I canât stand the idea of people just... throwing someone aside for someone else. I mean, I do it too, sometimes, but... Thatâs why I hate it so much.â He clenched his healthy hand into a fist, glaring down at it.Â
âI really canât stand myselfâ, he said with a sullen laugh. He leaned his head back, looking up at the artifical âskyâ. He really just wanted to disappear. It would be better for everyone if he did. It really would.Â
â...Even so, I... I wish I could be better for you. I wish I wasnât this asshole of a lunatic, haha.â

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Moony and I are cosplaying the OTP for Halloween so⌠Happy Halloween everyone ^.^
um kai?
no? (:
no????
:^)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
get rekt son