* // mother texas

"Main street, noon, tomorrow."

"Oh, I'd say he's fixin' to shoot us."

"They finally caught that rustler…"

"Never run a bluff with a six-gun."

"Fearing death ain't no way to live."

"Good way to get shot 'round here."

"I ain't got much left to lose, friend."

"No horse, no gun, what hope's left?"

"You don't look the type for a saloon."

"We are not criminals. We are outlaws."

"Well, at least it ain’t a snake this time."

"You mean you'd trade me for a horse?"

"Least be man enough to do it yourself."

"If you're gonna shoot, shoot. Don't talk."

"Get on the horse, we're burning daylight."

"Well, right now I don't feel too agreeable."

"Something ain't right… prairie's too quiet."

"More outlaws hanging 'round these parts..."

"We've gotta ride faster. Law ain't far behind."

"If he swings, you reckon I could have his boots?"

"No, the first rule is, you never, ever bring the law."

"The way I see it, I done saved your life twice, now."

"I do not recall what lie I told you. I was probably drunk."

"You'd be surprised the things you can solve with a gun."

"We ain't both gonna make it. Go. Now. I'll hold them off."

"That’s how it is in the West: You do what you have to do."

"Courage is being scared to death, but saddlin' up anyway."

"Takes a special grit to be a gunslinger. And you ain't got it."

"Ain't nothing strong enough served here to make me happy."

"You tell 'em I'm comin'… and Hell's comin' with me, you hear?"

"Don't be drinkin' the water out here or there's a coffin waiting."

"We're in the West. The West is where you make your own luck."

"Holster that gun, partner, you ain't got the stomach for a fight."

"Your poker face is pitiful. Now put that gun back in your pants."

"Ain't enough whiskey in the West to make that plan sound wise."

"Nothin' out here but the big sky and whatever luck you can find."

"Start causin' trouble, you'll find yourself the wrong end of the law."

"Got some dynamite here. One way or 'nother, we'll get the job done."

"Watch your step out here. Plenty that'll bite you before you even see 'em."

"Sickness is coming back for the town. I'll reckon it'll be worse than the last."

"I consider myself agreeable, 'til someone gives me a reason to be otherwise."

"Oh, I should shoot you right now, just for being such an obstreperous jackass."

dialogue prompts from the down days by ilze hugo.

it was so worth it, wasn't it?

i'm not an extrovert like you. i need my space.

always the comedian, aren't you?

are you ready to be a martyr? do the right thing?

denial is practically my middle name.

i got into this to help people.

i promised myself i'd never look back.

i just work here.

i've done my research. i know the law.

find what you're looking for?

you're acting suspicious as fuck.

you think you're invincible, don't you?

you're not crazy. you're grieving.

is this 'fuck with me' friday?

have you started smoking again?

ray of sunshine alert.

your _____ seems like it's really bothering you today. you keep grimacing.

cross your heart and hope to die?

you're in a better mood. what happened?

i've just gained some perspective on a few things, is all.

i have to do everything to keep you safe, even if it seems crazy.

cold feet? if you keep walking, they'll warm up.

i'm turning into my mother.

let's pretend none of this happened and move on, okay?

i can't believe i trusted you.

hear me out. i can explain.

i'm nobody's darling, darling.

i really don't see how you can dig your way out of this one.

if i had to give myself a label, it would be 'hopesmith'.

you don't have to believe in something to be an expert in it.

hope isn't free. it always comes at a cost.

seriously. i can't take you anywhere.

there's no such thing as luck. or fate. or choosing your own reality in seven different colors and sizes with free shipping via amazon, or whatever.

you just can't help yourself, can you?

i'm sorry. i'm being an ass again, aren't i?

you look like you're having a rough week. can i buy you a coffee?

no strings, just caffeine. it's a sin to say no to a free cup of coffee.

spirits for the spirit, as my uncle used to say.

i like solving puzzles. the more difficult, the better.

some weeds can't be pruned, my gran used to say. their roots run too deep.

always the comedian, aren't you?

you keep tapping your nails against the table. i can't concentrate.

i'm guessing this isn't a social call.

i prefer to kick it old school, thank you very much.

you've been hiding from the hurt for too long. it's consuming you.

people lie all the time, for all sorts of reasons.

i do my best thinking on my feet.

i could do with a good caped crusader, right now.

i could do with a good saving. not a knight, though. no shining armor, thanks. and no horses, either.

i don't know anymore where 'now' begins and 'then' ends.

i know who you are. i've seen you.

i've never been good with uncomfortable silences.

this isn't a tv show, it's real life. things just happen.

sometimes you have to look after yourself, too.

aren't you even curious? after everything?

i'm nobody's fucking pinnochio. i'll dangle my own damn strings, thank you.

stop pretending you don't care about anything.

just trust me. and if you can't trust me, trust ______.

don't worry about that. it's all sorted. i phoned a friend.

you can be quite funny, if you try.

you can't fight fire with fire. take it from me.

you don't know what it's like to have no one.

you don't have to pretend anymore.

i've always liked the idea of reincarnation. a fresh start, a chance to try again.

"So, I’m normal and you’re abnormal."

"I'm even tempted to eat some raw."

"What kind of creature has teeth like these?"

"That was close! I wasn’t being careless though. "

"Is this really edible?"

"Have you ever been stabbed with a spear? "

"Before fully removing its poison and seasoning it, let’s check its natural flavour. "

"So just now, I was doing a taste test of rotten fish. "

"Really, just wearing this wetsuit compresses my body so much I think I might just get crushed to death. "

"If I can find it, I can catch it."

"This is getting a bit grotesque. "

"He’s becoming like a rare Pokemon. "

"It’s a gamble, let’s flip it over. "

"Can I really make scrambled eggs with this? "

"Well, complaining and breaking promises isn’t very manly, so I’ll continue. "

"Being able to witness evolution in progress…isn’t that incredibly romantic? "

"As soon as it touched my mouth, it was really unpleasant and I couldn’t enjoy it. "

"I was so bored for the past hour and a half, I was drinking. "

"I’m cutting the skin gently so the stomach won’t burst. "

"Okay, let’s start a fire."

"There’s no way you could drink a thousand mililitres of eel blood."

"It’s just average in the yucky world."

"I thought a mermaid would come out"

"Anyways, let’s wash off the blood."

"I need someone to hug me now"

"What doesn’t come out from the anus comes out from the mouth. "

"I get food poisoning way more often than most so I do all I can to avoid it."

"I shouldn't put my hand in a fish's mouth for no reason...."

"We’re living the ostrich life right now."

+POSITIVE:

You make me laugh ║ I am inspired by you ║ I trust you wholeheartedly ║ I consider you a role model ║ I am interested in you romantically ║ I am interested in you sexually ║ I am protective over you ║ I support you ║ In my ideal world, you are happy ║ You give me cute aggression ║ You have done so much for me ║ Your approval is meaningful to me ║ I think of you often ║ I hope you are a permanent fixture in my life ║ You don't get enough credit ║ Your presence is a mood boost

±NEUTRAL:

We are vibing ║ I like your posts ║ I respect what you've been through ║ I hope you get what you deserve ║ We may not be close, but I enjoy what we have ║ I wish you would seek help ║ Knowing you has changed me ║ I consider you trustworthy ║ You remind me of myself ║ I like bumping into you at the function ║ I idolize you ║ We share a lot of common interests ║ You're cool

-NEGATIVE:

source: [x].

“ what do you mean ‘go home’ ? we’re friends for life now.”

“ jesus, you almost killed me.”

“ where are we anyway?”

“ where the hell are we?”

“ this is cool, man.”

“ are those tires in the sky?”

“ are we gonna go up there? are we gonna go all the way?”

“ sorry, no offence.”

“ never mind, there’s nothing here… or is there?”

“ oh my god, this is terrifying.”

“ it’s very cool, but very scary, all right?”

“ let me jump up on you.”

“ oh my god, that looks terrifying. what the hell?”

“ all right, i’ll be going this way.”

“ whatever, i don’t care.”

“ all right, let’s take it really easy. real nice and easy. tip-tappity-toe.”

“ hey, what’s this?”

“ hey, look at that.”

“ look, it’s safer this way.”

“ why did i just do that?”

“ hey, stop. don’t worry about it, all right?”

“ if you do that, y’know, A-PLUS, i’ll be really impressed.”

“ yeah, keep yelling at the birds.”

“ okay, you’ve done it now, boy.”

“ stop following me.”

“ you’re not gonna make the third one, i’m sure. i’m sure of it.”

“ why am i such a dick?”

“ you’re making me look bad. i don’t like it.”

“ jeeeesus…! okay, well, i- you know– SHOW OFF!”

“ what happened here?”

“ best friends, right?”

“ i’m so excited about potential friendship.”

“ that seems safe.”

“ now THAT’S- that’s a bridge that i think looks safe. i am DEFINITELY going on this one, that seems like a great idea-AAAAH! AH! AH! SHIT!”

“ oh, the anxiety.”

“ all right, now your turn.”

“ hey, look at that. wasn’t that hard.”

“ what’s the big deal, you pussy?”

“ okay, well, it looks like we can go through here.”

“ i have a good feeling about it.”

“ look at this. it’s so cool.”

“ oh my god, everything is just amazing.”

“ come on, man, i’m almost out. come on, help me pull, dammit!”

“ dude, i’m coming back.”

“ please, i’m stuck. help!”

“ god dammit. all right, fine. you know what? FINE.”

“ you just… you need to get up here.”

“ how did you get up there?”

“ oh, i see. no problem.”

“ just jump up here, man.”

“ hey. i’m taking my damn time. shut up.”

“ i’m gonna do it. i’m gonna do it, just watch – BOOM!”

“ my god, you are so smooth. really, great job.”

“ this way, follow me. try to keep up.”

“ but it’s drugs. it looks like some heisenberg shit, y’know?”

“ are you ready? three, two, one… catch!”

“ all right, come on, buddy.”

“ i made you high on drugs, now you better keep up.”

“ oh, no. oh, no. ah… eh… ah… THAT’S IT?”

“ let’s see if we can jump from his ass.”

“ that’s a sentence i didn’t wish i said.”

“ man, i’m LOVING this so far. it’s so fun to play– fuck you in the fucking asshole. fuck this game, WORST game i ever played, what the fuck was that?”

“ dude, is that a salamander? that’s a salamander! aw.”

“ i really didn’t think i would mess that up.”

“ ha ha! too bad, bitch!”

“ i’ll be right back, okay? don’t worry about it.”

“ hey! you made it! you fucking asshole.”

“ oh my god, is that… is that butterfly? is that the - the butterfly shit?”

“ dude, just eat it! all right, fine, i don’t care.”

“ dude, literally, you’re gonna eat it. i mean, if i went through all the effort, you’re gonna fucking eat it, all right?”

“ i hate myself.”

“ well, i guess i’ll go through this tiny little hole. how convenient that i am the small one.”

“ whoa, it’s almost like you can smell the nature.”

“ you forgot about the best part: me!”

“ hey, just jump over.”

“ here i come!”

“ it’s AMAZING! this is fucking amazing!”

“ where the fuck did it go, i looked away one second.”

“ UNLIMITED POWER!”

“ he’s fiiine! what the hell- WHAT? WHAT?! whaaat? all right, fine.”

“ and i’m like dead inside, so this is pretty amazing.”

“ oh, come on, you left without me. fucking dick.”

“ hey, now you see how it feels.”

“ surpiiiiise!”

“ AHHH! dude! was not ready for that, man.”

“ my god, i could’ve died.”

“ what am i looking at here? no one knows.”

“ let’s push it down.”

“ this is getting ridiculous.”

“ i’ll go in here, i’ll take care of it.”

“ look, i got your favorite snack!”

“ i got a treat for you.”

“ who’s been a good boy, huh? me. me, i’ve been a good boy.”

“ yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. that’s it.”

“ AH! what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“ is like- is this shit good? is this dank? i don’t know, this - this is not dank, brah.”

“ are you coming or what?”

“ i’m assuming that’s a yes?”

“ you don’t need things happening every second, you don’t need to be killing enemies.”

“ okay, all right, just stay there. just stay there and look pretty.”

“ stay here? where? here? oh, you want it here?”

“ we did it!”

“ let’s do this nice and easy… that was… the nicest and easiest way i’ve seen.”

“ it’s almost as strong as me, that gate. i’m sure.”

“ oh, my god, is that what i think it is? oh my god. oh my god. is that-? oh my god. O-M-G. can i please… can i please have one? ”

“ delicious. thank you.”

“ um… not feeling great about this. i think we should go the other way.”

“ dude, what is the matter with you? why is your eyes like that?”

“ hey, dude, i wanted that!”

“ do you think i can jump down here?”

“ what the fuck is all this?”

“ okay, so we gotta open this somehow…”

“ what’s wrong?”

“ no, please! ahhh!”

“ you lookin’ real tasty right now.”

P.S: obviously there will be SPOILERS for those who haven’t watched the episode yet.

“ stop apologizing for the things you’ve never done, cause time is short and life is cruel, but it’s up to us to change.”

“ it’s enough to make you stop believing when tears come fast and furious.”

“ cause the world is but a treat, when you’re on easy street.”

“ let’s have a moment in the sun.”

“ it’s time to have a little fun.”

“ yeah, we got a front-row seat.”

“ chop-chop.”

“ don’t talk to him/her.”

“ well, maybe next time.”

“ sorry. still getting used to being my own assistant.”

“ whatever they say… just do it.”

“ it’ll get better… if you let it.”

“ trust me.”

“ except for you. YOU… stand right there.”

“ you know, i’m getting the hang of this thing.”

“ that’s you, asshole. unless your smart.”

“ your choice. you could be like them… or me… or them.”

“ make it easy on yourself.”

“ i ain’t never gonna kneel.”

“ yeah, i said that too.”

“ see, that’s the thing man. you don’t know. but you’re gonna.”

“ it’s working.”

“ it’s working slow, but, hey, man. some people are harder to break than others.”

 “ since you’re doing such an awesome job, you want to have a little blast from the past?”

“ i’m kidding, man. lighten up.”

“ oh, crap. are you okay down there?”

“ i mean, that guy, he, uh… clomped on it.”

“ i’m fine. but i’m gonna pass.”

“ man, i’m cool.”

“ huh… ARE you cool though, ___?”

“ is that cool?”

“ i haven’t finished the job.”

“ i haven’t earned it, right?”

“ the hell are you talking about? you earn what you take.”

“ we have an orange situation.”

“ gimme that.”

“ yeah, s/he could’ve only gone three ways.”

“ i’ll meet you at the gate.”

“ i mean, i want my shit back… but that is grunt work.”

“ you? you don’t have to do it.”

“ i’d like to do it.”

“ good boy.”

“ go back while you can. you know i did.”

“ whatever s/he’s done to you, there’s more. there’s always more.”

“ you won’t get away, and when you get back… it’ll be worse.”

“ are we pissin’ our pants yet?”

“ who are you?”

“ you see that? i am everywhere.”

“ this was your shot to prove to me that that fundamental fact was sinking in, and you failed, which sucks.”

“ your life was about to get so much cooler.”

“ i don’t think you get it yet, so i’m gonna break it down for you.”

“ choice seems pretty obvious.”

“ this is it. this is the ONLY way.”

“ WOW! you don’t scare easy. i love that.”

“ so… i’m gonna go get me a drink!”

“ there’s so many things i wish i never found out… i wish i didn’t try.”

“ i told you i was sorry, and you said ‘you’re gonna be’… i am.”

“ i’m screwed up.”

“ my bike’s screwed up.”

“ you’re going back because you owe. and now you owe a hell of a lot more.”

“ was it worth it?”

“ just let me go.”

“ we used to be friendly.”

“ look, there’s nowhere to go!”

“ keep walking… I SAID KEEP WALKING!”

“ it’s okay. it’s okay if you do it. i get it. hell, i want you to. please.”

“ shut up. keep walking.”

“ i can’t go back.”

“ because look where we are! we were losing. now we’re not.”

“ we thought we knew how to fight the monsters.”

“ get… up… GET UP!”

“ there is nothing back there for me. this is the last time i’m going to kneel.”

“ you feel that? you feel it?!”

“ okay. you won. but you know there’s nothing left.”

“ can i have one?”

“ are you, uh… you happy?”

“ i did the right thing.”

“ it’s a hell of a lot better than being dead.”

“ eat.”

“ you got your friend killed.”

“ don’t pretend like you don’t know the score.”

“ you should be dead. you’re lucky. don’t forget.”

“ bon appetite.”

“ jesus. you… look awful.”

“ you thirsty? here.”

“ ah, hell, i forgot. your mouth is all… puffed up like a baboons ass. need a straw?”

“ that shit is hard to scavenge.”

“ blah, blah, blah.”

“ because i am a stand up guy.”

“ because i can’t let something like that stand.”

“ there… are… rules.”

“ cost me an arm and a leg going after him/her.”

“ s/he asked for my forgiveness. i like that. made me take notice.”

“ POW! one of my top guys!”

“ you look around here. this? well, it can all be yours.”

“ all you gotta do is answer one simple question.”

“ what, does the cat got your tongue? you’re just overwhelmed by the awesomeness of this?”

“ hey, sst, sst, sst!”

“ you made your choice. ain’t my problem if you made a dumbass choice.”

“ you’re gonna wind up in that room or hanging on the fence!”

“ i get why you did it.”

!!! SPOILER ALERT !!! FOR THOSE WHO HASN’T WATCHED THIS EPISODE YET !!!

“ i want to get to know you a little better, ___”

“ work it out. you’re smart.”

“ you’re smart enough to know that i’m not gonna let this slide.”

“ ahh, i can’t – i can’t do it.”

“ it’s like talking to a birthday present. you gotta take that crap off. i want to see what grandma got me.”

“ do you really want to piss me off?”

“ christ! that is disgusting. no wonder you cover that up.”

“ have you seen it? i mean, have you looked in a mirror? that is gross as hell.”

“ i want to touch it. oh, come on. can i touch it?”

“ damn. holy hell, kid. look, i… i just… it’s easy to forget that you’re… just a kid.”

“ i didn’t mean to hurt your feelings or anything. i… i was just screwing around.”

“ just forget it.”

“ seriously? i NEVER do that.”

“ i guess a kid firing a machine gun is a little bit of a distraction.”

“ all jokes aside, you look rad as hell.”

“ i wouldn’t cover that shit up.”

“ i swear to you, NO ONE is gonna screw with you looking like that. no, sir.”

“ were you gentle? were you kind?”

“ i’m just screwing around, man!”

“ get the hell out.”

“ now, you see? that’s what i’m talking about. men breaking each other’s balls.”

“ what do you like to do for fun?”

“ i want you to sing me a song.”

“ i want something in return for that.”

“ do not let me distract you.”

“ weird, huh?”

“ damn. dead, huh?”

“ you see it happen?”

“ i shot him/her. before it could…”

“ damn, no wonder you’re a little serial killer in the making.”

“ that was an example of breaking balls, by the way.”

“ hold that for me.”

“ what’s about to happen is gonna be hard to watch.”

“ i don’t want to do it.”

“ i wish i could just ignore the rules and let it slide, but i CAN’T.”

“ rules are what make it all work.”

“ i know it’s not easy.”

“ if you try to skirt it, if you try to cut that corner, then it is the iron for you.”

“ on your feet.”

“ ah, that wasn’t so bad, now, was it?”

“ clean that up.”

“ i’m all done, do your thing.”

“ well, the pussy passed out.”

“ it’s settled, we’re square. everything is cool.”

“ i hope we all learned something today, because i don’t EVER want to have to do that again.”

“ some crazy shit, huh? you probably think i’m a lunatic.”

“ come on. let’s go figure out what to do with you.”

“ i didn’t want to come back here.”

“ i’m not trying to definitively stop ya. just maybe slow your roll.”

“ i’m not waiting.”

“ that’s just being stupid.”

“ you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

“ it doesn’t matter if you’re stealthy, snipey, gun or knifey. they have the numbers.”

“ someone has to pay the price. even if you’re willing… from all we’ve seen, it’s not a lock you’ll be the one.”

“ will the man who killed the man who saved our lives die?”

“ you’re not talking me out of this, ___!”

“ you owe me, and you owe ___”

“ if there’s a price, i’ll pay it. but don’t you tell me no.”

“ you don’t know anything, you don’t DO anything.”

“ you’re a coward. and you’re weak.”

“ for once, do something useful.”

“ don’t beat yourself up.”

“ you sold ‘em out, right? you had to.”

“ it’s not what happened.”

“ whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“ how do YOU sleep at night?”

“ you should go. someone’s going to see us.”

“ no, you absolutely cannot.”

“ why the hell not?”

“ look at this badass.”

“ you can’t because i’m not done with you.”

“ what? you got something to say?”

“ why haven’t you killed me?”

“ you see, s/he thinks s/he’s holding it together, but you saw it.”

“ you on the other hand… we shall see.”

“ it’s more productive to break you. more fun, too. you thinking that’s stupid?”

“ i’m thinking we’re different.”

“ what do you think i should do? you know i can’t let you go.”

“ so, do i kill you? iron your face? chop off your arm? tell me. what do you think?”

“ i think you should jump out the window to save me the trouble of killing you.”

“ now, there is the ___ that impressed the hell outta me.”

“ i think you’re not saying what you’re gonna do to me, because you’re not going to do anything.”

“ if you knew us, if you knew anything, you WOULD kill us.”

“ maybe you’re right. maybe i can’t.”

“ let’s go for a ride.”

“ if you do anything to him/her…”

“ what next? you want my shoes?”

“ great, great, great, great, great, GREAT!”

“ dooooon’t care ~”

“ cool. i’ll wait.”

“ we’re practically starving here.”

“ starving? you? by ‘practically’ you mean ‘not really.’ ”

“ REALLY? you people seriously don’t have a sense of humor.”

“ excuse me. what’s your name again?”

“ i am sorry for having been so rude to you just now.”

“ it looks like i’m gonna be here for a while.”

“ if you’d like, i think it would be enjoyable to screw your brains out.”

“ i mean, y’know, if you’re agreeable to it.”

“ i am about 50% more into you now. just sayin’.”

“ all right, well, i’m just gonna put my feet up and wait for my stuff to get here.”

“ would you be a lamb and make us a little lemonade?”

“ now, i know i left you some of that good powdered stuff.”

“ take me on the grand tour!”

“ how ‘bout this one?”

“ are you serious, ___? come on.”

“ oh-ho, my… look at this little angel.”

“ i’m sorry for what i said.”

“ i reject that.”

“ you meant it, you felt it, that’s your truth.”

“ i’d like to take it back to awkward silence now.”

“ find what you wanted?”

“ hey, neighbor. why don’t you come by later? we might grill out.”

“ oh, i like it here. i just might have to stay here.”

“ you know, i was thinking about what you said earlier, ___. maybe it IS stupid keeping you alive.”

“ i mean, why am i trying so hard?”

“ maybe i should just bury you in one of those flower beds? huh?”

!!! SPOILER ALERT !!! FOR THOSE WHO HASN’T WATCHED THIS EPISODE YET !!!

“ what time is it?”

“ let’s go.”

“ didn’t see THAT last night.”

“ looks like the end of them, though.”

“ making a trail.”

“ i think we’re close.”

“ we should bail out, follow the rest of the way. see what we can see.”

“ it isn’t usually the fall that gets us. it’s trying to fight it.”

“ run with it or roll with it.”

“ i-if i screw up and we get caught…”

“ it’ll be fine. we just got to go NOW.”

“ okay. show me first.”

“ i want to get back in there and unload a little myself.”

“ and whose job was that?”

“ aw, damn! i thought they packed this up tight.”

“ ah, no worries. plenty more where this came from.”

“ son of a bitch! what the hell?!”

“ stay back! drop your weapons!”

“ no one else needs to die.”

“ damn. you are adorable.”

“ did you pick that gun ‘cause it looks cool?”

“ you totally did, right?”

“ i ain’t gonna lie, you scare the shit outta me.”

“ back off.”

“ come on, ___. i’ll show you around.”

“ really? you’re really not gonna take my hand?”

“ you’re lucky you even still have a hand.”

“ how’s the job going, ___? hot enough for ya?”

“ what are you gonna do to me?”

“ do not shatter my image of you.”

“ you’re a badass. you’re not scared of shit.”

 “ don’t be scared of me, it’s a disappointment.”

“ you really want me to ruin the surprise? screw you.”

“ seriously. screw. you.”

“ check this out.”

“ some of that stuff can be yours if you work hard and play by the rules.”

“ you see that? respect.”

“ cool, huh?”

“ hey, i wanted to show you a few potentials i’ve rated b-plus or higher.”

“ i know where we’re going.”

“ no, we’re not doing shit for that cabron.”

“ you’re not going out to find stuff for the saviors?”

“ there’s no fighting it.”

“ perhaps we should all travel together?”

“ i’m down.”

“ i know you don’t like it, and you don’t want to hear it from me, but we got to produce for them.”

“ it’s like taxes.”

“ hey. you can keep acting pissed at me, but i didn’t do this.”

“ you think you can do better.”

“ leave me the hell alone.”

“ it’s cool. i won’t mind.”

“ knock yourself out.”

“ can i talk to you for a minute?”

“ what we talk about when you’re not here is none of your business.”

“ i need to know if it’s true.”

“ there are rules for a reason. nothing matters if you’re dead.”

“ s/he made a mistake. go easy on her/him.”

“ calm the hell down.”

“ i ever hit one of you?”

“ i know you. there’s worse.”

“ you know i don’t want anyone here that doesn’t want to be here, right?”

“ no. i– i will stay. i’m… i’m sorry.”

“ you know what that means, right?”

“ i don’t know why you’re crying. it’s all gonna work out aces for you.”

“ you’re an asshole.”

“ the messed up thing is, you like me anyway.”

“ you know the truth. just like me.”

“ WHOA! what we talk about when you’re not here… is none of your business.”

“ do not make me put this toothpick through the only eye s/he has.”

“ i’ll be down in a few.”

“ time for a little déjà-vu.”

“ we have today and only today to find somethin’”

“ hating somebody, is that a sin?”

“ thoughts are just thoughts. it’s our actions that matter in the end.”

“ ___ shouldn’t be in charge.”

“ how? by bullying you?”

“ we don’t know! we can’t. we don’t get to.”

“ we’re here now. and we can look to the future.”

“ what future? there’s no future with ___ in charge.”

“ stop the car.”

“ what you’re saying, it doesn’t make you a sinner. but it does make you a tremendous shit…” 

“ just for now. it doesn’t have to be terminal.”

“ i’m gonna go back.”

“ why follow the same old rules? why not make life better?”

!!! SPOILER ALERT !!! FOR THOSE WHO HASN’T WATCHED THIS EPISODE YET !!!

“ i love you too, baby.”

“ i’m so proud of you.”

“ well, the good part is about to happen.”

“ so, what do you say we get a move on?”

“ oh, yes, about that. i’m afraid you won’t be able to attend.”

“ this some kind of a joke?”

“ no. it’s quite serious, in fact.”

“ you’re needed elsewhere.”

“ let’s get out of here.”

“ hey, open the damn door!”

“ we mustn’t be late.”

“ please, just… don’t hurt ___”

“ that’s not my decision to make.”

“ your fate depends entirely on ___”

“ don’t forget to buckle up.”

“ what a beautiful morning. sun is shining, birds are singing…”

“ they say that fortune favors the brave.”

“ i don’t know what you’re saying.”

“ it’s not important.”

“ what is important is that i have found someone.”

“ what good is love if it’s one-sided?”

“ i have no choice but to confess my feelings to ___”

“ it’s complicated.”

“ actually, it’s really simple.”

“ see? it’s pretty simple.”

“ you leave that part to me.”

“ you know, i can get used to this…”

“ we make a pretty good team.”

“ hm, does that mean you’ll share your breakfast?”

“ you know what?”

“ this is nice.”

“ can i help you?”

“ should you choose not to play, precious people will die today.”

“ never should have left that hole you were hiding in.”

“ oh, i wasn’t just hiding. i put the time to good use. made a thorough study of you.”

“ and here i didn’t think about you once.”

“ i’ve been inside that head of yours.” 

“ i’ve seen the web of lies you tell yourself.”

“ well, it’s been nice catching up with you.”

“ i’m going to force you to confront who you really are. and i’m going to drive you mad doing it.”

“ choice is yours, ___”

“ you can’t save both. so. who’s it going to be?”

“ you son of a bitch.”

“ good. now i have your attention.”

“ they were innocent, ___. you didn’t have to kill them.”

“ you practically pushed them off the ledge.”

“ no police, or more people die.”

“ you’d have to put a bullet in me.”

“ good thing i don’t carry a gun.”

“ and yet i still have so much to learn from you.”

“ i’m sorry for letting you down.”

“ i would be lost without you.”

“ in fact, um, there is something that i need to tell you.”

“ you know what, i forget. in and out of my head, just like that.”

“ don’t you hate that when that happens?”

“ that never happens to me.”

“ you know what? i believe that.”

“ so, uh, where are we off to first?”

“ you’re not gonna believe this.”

“ hey, does that guy look strange to you? i mean, more so than the usual whack job.”

“ hey, pal! you see what happened here?”

“ i have a message for you.”

“ like what you’ve done with the place.”

“ everyone needs a hobby.”

“ don’t you ever do that again!”

“ don’t you talk about her/him.”

“ that’s why s/he hated you. why s/he died trying to get away from you.”

“ dismissive. rude. i don’t like your attitude.”

“ you need a plan, sweetie.”

“ what you want means nothing to me.”

“ yeah, i know, you said that the first hundred times i asked you.”

“ i know you can hear me.”

“ oh, you clearly have no sense for stagecraft.”

“ this is merely the second act, where we stoke the tension.”

“ the choice is simple, you see. kill one, and the other will go free.”

“ sorry, i’m not killing anyone.”

“ i’m done playing your game.”

“ what the hell is going on here?”

“ even when you don’t choose, there are consequences.”

“ he killed them, and i just stood there.”

“ you did what you could.”

“ you do know what this is about, don’t you?”

“ you know, it is kind of ironic though.”

“ maybe you’re just scared and this is your way of coping.”

“ all i’m interested in is getting out of here.”

“ it’s not a compliment.”

“ how do i get to the end?”

“ look, you’re just gonna have to trust me.”

“ trust you?”

“ keep your voice down.”

“ so, you’re gonna go in all alone and save ‘em, is that it?”

“ actually, you might be the only person that could help me.”

“ it’s really none of your business.”

“ you realize that we both might die today, right?”

“ i’m not leaving you here.”

“ there’s gotta be something else.”

“ you’ll do what i say, or things will get messy.”

“ really? after all we’ve been through today, you have to think about it?”

“ not everyone here has to die.”

“ it’s gonna be okay.”

“ fair warning though, it has a sad ending.”

“ now… i’m out of patience!”

“ lies! deceit! the story you tell is incomplete.”

“ liar!”

“ that’s right. me. i’m the one you want. so, keep me, but let them go.”

“ you’re trying to confuse me. but i won’t let you.”

“ i’m determined that you will live on and suffer as i have.”

“ i’ll make it easy for you. on the count of three, tell me who to kill. or i’ll shoot both of them, which would be such a thrill!”

“ all this time, you made everyone believe you were the hero, but deep down, you always knew the truth.”

“ you’re a villain.”

“ impossible to pick the perfect bottle, isn’t it?”

“ um, i’m sorry to bother you; i don’t usually talk to people. there’s just, um, something about you…”

“ no, no, please, there’s… there’s no need to apologize.”

“ you just… you remind me of someone that i used to know. a long time ago.”

“ why didn’t you come to me?”

“ and i thought i could save them both.”

( also known as the meme that will destroy your soul. or as the meme where 98% is negan quotes.) !!! SPOILER ALERT !!! IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED FIRST EP OF SEASON 7 YET !!!

“ what? was the joke that bad?”

“ i’m gonna kill you.”

“ what? i didn’t quite catch that. you’re gonna have to speak up.”

“ not today. not tomorrow… but i’m gonna kill you.”

“ well, we can just turn these people inside out, won’t we? i mean, the one’s that are left.”

“ let’s go for a ride.”

“ wow, what a piece of shit!”

“ ‘i’m gonna kill you’ - are you kiddin’ me?”

“ did you see what just happened, what i just did?”

“ your best chance is to stand up, grab that ax, and drive it through the back of my head.”

“ keep actin’ tough.”

“ go ahead. grab the damn ax.”

“ drop it.”

“ don’t make me get up again.”

“ well, look at that. dawn is breakin’. it’s a brand-new day.”

“ i want you to think about what could’ve happened. think about what happened. and think about what can still happen.”

“ that remind you of anybody you know?”

“ you are mine.”

“ let’s be friends.”

“ no. doesn’t work like that, ___. not anymore.”

“ think about what happened.”

“ i simply cannot decide.”

“ i got an idea. eenie… meenie… miney….”

“ you can breathe. you can blink. you can cry. hell, you’re all gonna be doin’ that.”

“ oh! look at that! taking it like a CHAMP!”

“ suck. my. nuts.”

“ did you hear that?”

“ oh, my goodness! look at this!”

“ sweetheart, lay your eyes on this.”

“ oh damn… were you– were you together?”

“ that sucks.”

“ you should know, there was a reason for all this.”

“ he just took one, or six or seven for the team!”

“ so take a damn look.”

“ take a damn look!”

“ that? oh, my! that. that is a no-no.”

“ that whole thing, not one bit of that shit flies here.”

“ do you want me to do it?”

“ no, you don’t kill them… not until you try a little.”

“ that’s not how it works.”

“ now, i already told you, first one’s free, then – what’d i say?”

“ i said i would shut that shit down! no exceptions.”

“ now, i don’t know what kind of lying assholes you’ve been dealing with, but i’m a man of my word.”

“ first impressions are important.”

“ i need you to know me.”

“ buddy, you still there?”

“ i just don’t know. it seems like you’re trying to speak, but you just took a hell of a hit!”

“ -and it is gross as shit!”

“ oh… oh, hell, i can see this is hard on you.”

“ i am sorry. i truly am. but i did say it; no exceptions!”

“ you bunch of pussies. i’m just gettin’ started.”

“ she is a vampire bat.”

“ people died, ___. it’s what happened. doesn’t mean the rest of ’em have to.”

“ i thought you were the guy, ___. maybe you’re not.”

“ we’ll give it one more go. now i really want you to try this time.”

“ last chance.”

“ clock is ticking, ___! think about what could still happen.”

“ we’re here, prick.”

“ this must be hard for you, right?”

“ i mean, you have been king shit for so long.”

“ that is some screwed up shit!”

“ you were in charge. hell, you were probably addicted to it.”

“ you can still lead a nice, productive life, producing for me.”

“ i think you’re gonna need it. i just got a feelin’. so take it.”

“ speak when you’re spoken to!”

“ the way that you looked at me, i wanted to change that.”

“ i wanted you to understand. but you’re still looking at me the same damn way.”

“ do i give you another chance?”

“ and here it is, the grand-prize game.”

“ what you do next will decide whether you crap day becomes everyone’s last crap day, or just another crap day.”

“ you a south-paw?”

“ am i a what?”

“ that hurt? should. it’s supposed to.”

“ get down on the ground. spread them wings!”

“ you got a pen?”

“ sorry, kid.”

“ please, please. please don’t.”

“ please don’t.”

“ me? i ain’t doin’ shit.”

“ now, i know- i know, you’re gonna have to process that for a second. still though, i’m gonna need you to do it, or all these people are gonna die.”

“ i’m gonna keep you breathing for a few years, just so you can stew on it.”

“ you- you don’t have to do this.”

“ now, i know this is a screwed-up thing to ask.”

“ it can- it can- it can be me. it can be me. y-you can do it to me.”

“ i c- i can go with- with you.”

“ no. this is the only way.”

“ not making a decision is a BIG decision.”

“ you really want to see all these people die? you will. you will see every. ugly. thing.”

“ oh, my god. are you gonna make me count?”

“ okay, you win. i am counting. three!”

“ please! please! it can be me! please!”

“ please, don’t do- ah… ahhh!”

“ just do it.”

“ you answer to me. you provide for me. you belong to me. right?”

“ that is the look i wanted to see.”

“ we did it. all of us, together. even the dead guys on the ground. hell, they get the spirit award, for sure!”

“ today was a productive damn day!”

“ now, i hope, for all your sake, that you get it now… that you understand how things work.”

“ things have changed.”

“ whatever you had going for you, that is over now.”

“ he’s got guts. not a little bitch like someone i know.”

“ i like him. he’s mine now.”

“ but you still wanna try something, i will cut pieces off of… hell’s his name?”

“ wow, that actually sounds right.”

“ i will cut pieces off of ___ and put them on your doorstep - or better yet,  i will bring ___ to you and have you do it for me.”

“ welcome to a brand-new beginning, you sorry shits!”

“ you need to sit down.”

“ you need to go get ready. to fight them.”

“ we would die, all of us.”

“ go home. take everybody with you. i can get there by myself.”

“ you can barely stand up.”

“ you were out– out here for me.”

“ i can make it now, i need you to go back, i can’t have you out here.”

“ we’re not letting you go, okay?”

“ it’s not gonna happen.”

“ i’m not giving you a choice.”

“ i need to do this, please.”

“ i got it.”

“ pl- pl- please let us.”

“ get comfortable.”

“ this intimidation routine you’ve got going must usually work wonders.”

“ thing is, i’m bigger and i’m not going anywhere.”

“ you okay?”

“ i saw what i saw.”

“ i should’ve done something.”

“ what could you have possibly done?”

“ we need a plan.”

“ do you have another option?”

“ ___, you home?”

“ oh, it has been too long, my friend.”

“ now, who wants to go slay some dark creatures of the night and make the world a safer place for all of mankind?”

“ it is my quest, and i will not shrink before it.”

“ we need to talk.”

“ hey, yo, man. i shot you.”

“ wait, i don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“ i don’t go looking for triggers.”

“ i was starving. i didn’t have a choice.”

“ there’s always a choice!”

“ that’s the only reason you’re here? to get that information?”

“ there is no us. there is me and this guy who i don’t recognize.”

“ what does it matter to you now, anyway?”

“ sex, i can get whenever i want. this, though…”

“ nirvana was the soundtrack of my youth.”

“ dibs!”

“ aw, come on!”

“ you squealed? bitch move, man!”

“ i… i really don’t want to talk about it.”

“ i can’t lie, it stung.”

“ you’re freaky-looking.”

“ i don’t wanna do this.”

“ stop! please!”

“ i don’t wanna do this anymore.”

“ so, it’s last man standing, huh?”

“ hey. how’s it going?”

“ it’s your lucky day. i happen to have some time.”

“ i think i got that in a fortune cookie once.”

“ by killing one person, you could save a lot more lives.”

“ i know you’re upset, but i’m being real clear here. you need to leave.”

“ you dug up a grave?”

“ i’m sorry, i’m sure that was awful.”

“ and i- i…  i’m sorry. i’m- i’m… i’m so sorry.”

“ you sure you’re up for this?”

“ well, i could not possibly be more terrified.”

“ i’m always better with an audience.”

“ so, we’re really doing this?”

“ so, uh, what’s with the get-up?”

“ it’s not a get-up, i am a sartorial chameleon. indie rock scene, country club, i fit in everywhere.”

“ you need to listen to something other than bob seger, my man.”

“ i see an opportunity here. for the both of us.”

“ and you know what happened then? you. you happened. you ruined my life.”

“ you’re going to help me.”

“ like that’s ever stopped you before.”

“ uh. when did you get in?”

“ i believe i have some happy news.”

“ you had more than enough on your plate, i didn’t want to worry you.”

“ we’re in this together. i’ve got your six, ___”

“ roger that, soldier.”

“ do you have time to look at a couple of youtube videoes?”

“ surely you can’t be suggesting…?”

“ and i am officially never going outside ever again.”

“ how soon will you be here?”

“ what the hell did you do, ___?”

“ this’ll be easier on you if you don’t move.”

“ some life is like a virus. one that can’t be allowed to spread.”

“ okay, pretty boy, i’m gonna ask you one more time.”

“ now, answer me straight, or i’m gonna take you on a guided tour through a world of pain.”

“ i don’t know anything!”

“ then i guess it’s all aboard the pain train. first stop, hand fransisco.”

“ i figured an occasion like this called for something special.”

“ to old clients and new friends.”

“ you limeys sure can put it away, can’t you?”

“ dammit, move!”

“ everything okay, amigo?”

“ hell, i’ll go again if you’re up for it.”

“ you’re kidding me.”

“ fancy a go?”

“ i would literally never forgive myself if i said no.”

“ i’m sorry, i didn’t even know who to call.”

“ hey, you need to pull it together.”

“ i killed a man.”

“ have you been taking any medications? or have you stopped taking any?”

“ wow. this is unreal.”

“ what? that’s unacceptable.”

“ what the hell happened?”

“ no, no, you stay right where you are.”

“ hey, man. sorry, i gotta go. work emergency.”

“ just calm your ass down.”

“ who is this guy and why is he up in our business?”

“ see. brains.”

“ hey buddy.”

“ kiss. my. ass.”

“ i love the moxie. but i’m the mick jagger here. time is on my side.”

“ it would certainly motivate me.”

“ i hope you brought your appetite.”

“ piss off, nancy boy.”

“ this indian mustard you brought in sucks donkey parts.”

“ ___, come here!”

“ ta-daaaa!”

“ screw that, i’m ready now!”

“ i don’t care.”

“ i want my life back, ___.”

“ it’s disgusting.”

“ i’m disgusting.”

“ i’ll sign a waiver, just let me do it.”

“ rub it in, you smug little…!”

“ i’m such a moron.”

“ what happened to your face?”

“ it’s a long story.”

“ who writes this stuff, right?”

“ you’re suggesting that i’m somehow responsible?”

“ if the subtext is confusing, yeah, i’m suggesting you had something to do with it.”

“ hey! creepy-stares-alot, i can see you.”

“ i would never root for anybody’s death, okay?”

“ we gotta move.”

“ this has got to suck.”

“ so i’ve been doing a bit of online research, trying to figure out how long you’ll survive in here, and guess what i discovered.”

“ spoiler alert.”

“ i can keep you in here, alive and suffering as long as i want.”

“ why are you doing this?”

“ wow. that felt really good to get off my chest.”

“ knock, knock.”

“ no one’s stopping you, brother.”

“ look, i don’t know if you’re hungry, but you know what my mom always says? there’s always room for soup.”

“ come on!”

“ there you go.”

“ say what you want about the lady that owns this place, she makes a mean bean and bratwurst stew.”

“ what the hell?!”

“ oh, looks like you found the secret to our secret recipe.”

“ aw, c’mon. eating brains doesn’t make you a monster. it takes a little more effort.”

“ what are we looking for?”

“ what were you thinking?”

“ i’m kick-starting this bitch, man!”

“ hey, how would you like to earn ten dollars?”

“ let me see it.”

“ i turned around for like, a minute, and when i turned back, i saw some dudes rolling out from under the car.”

“ geez, hon, relax, i was kidding.”

“ dude, i’m dying here.”

“ then what do you want from me?”

“ i want to know what sort of person kills his friends for three hundred grand.”

“ i want a deal.”

“ i can live with that.”

“ it’s just caffeine, right? not like it’s magic.”

“ it’s ridiculous… unless it’s not.”

“ hey, what’s up?”

“ i’m so sick of this life, ___”

“ hang in there. it’s not much longer now.”

“ i’ll be damned.”

“ i was starting to worry about you.”

“ after all we’ve been through, that warms my heart.”

“ why do you have ___’s phone?”

“ please don’t hurt him/her!”

“ i give you my word.”

“ i want to see ___”

“ you don’t want to catch up first? i have so much to tell you.”

“ mmm, so good!”

“ get down!”

“ oh, god, no, please, please!”

“ it’s okay, just get out of here.”

“ thank you, god bless you.”

“ look what you did, man!”

“ just what we need. a noise complaint.”

“ you got the slow and agonizing death thing under control, right? great. hope it hurts.”

“ ah! mother jones! that hurts.”

“ you killed ___, didn’t you?”

“ okay, let’s put the gun down, huh? let’s talk.”

“ there’s a reason you didn’t aim for my head.”

“ so really, you can’t kill me.”

“ you murdered ___!”

“ just listen to me!”

“ we have to stop the bleeding!”

“ just be here with me, okay?”

“ i told you there were zombies. you didn’t believe me.”

“ wait. oh man, you don’t know?”

“ dude, you’re about to go out with one large dose of irony.”

“ you thought those were what, just questionable style choices?”

“ ___, please, please, i…”

“ what a waste.”

“ all this sound and fury, and for what? nothing.”

“ i’ve got friends in high places.”

“ kill my crew, i’ll make more. kill my customers, i’ll make more. cost me money, i’ll make more.”

“ make more now, bitch.”

“ what did you do? did you… is this…? oh, no…”

“ oh, no, you’ve really screwed the pooch now.”

“ let me know if you survive. you’re our guinea pig now.”

“ you should try to get this down.”

“ it gets better. but it would be lying to say you get used to it.”

“ but doesn’t lying come naturally to you by now?”

“ instead of telling me the truth, you decided it’d be easier to break my heart.”

“ you have no faith in me.”

“ i have more faith in you than anyone ever.”

“ so that’s what helps you sleep at night. hm. what about me? what’s the greater good for me?”

“ trust me, i’m just getting started.”

“ whatever happens now, i hope you can forgive me. i doubt humanity is going to.”

“ what? what did you do?”

“ the more wood the bigger the fire.”

“ you know your fires.”

“ i knew you were highborn.”

“ buried treasure. thousands of years old, i think.”

“ what does it do?”

“ it’s beautiful though, isn’t it?”

“ how much longer?”

“ you’re playing with me.”

“ do you sing?”

“ sing me a song.”

“ that’s not how you skin a rabbit.”

“ i made this bow myself.”

“ oh, you’re gonna punch the rabbit to death?”

“ some of us are just a little better.”

“ you’ve got a big mouth and too many teeth.”

“ stop it!”

“ me? it’s my fault?”

“ we can’t fight each other, we’ll never make it!”

“ don’t push me.”

“ i’m right here with you.”

“ what’s happening?”

“ you’re afraid.”

“ i’ve waited my whole life to see the world from up there.”

“ here, sit down.”

“ you killed someone for them?”

“ i didn’t kill him, but i bet his balls are still bruised.”

“ can we not talk about that here?”

“ you were trembling like a leaf!”

“ don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.”

“ you’re loyal, and your brave.”

“ they don’t care if you live or die.”

“ don’t ever betray me.”

“ ’cause i’ll cut your pretty cock right off and wear it ’round me neck.”

“ you’re good. you’re not as good as you think you are.”

“ there’s someone out there.”

“ that’s about far enough.”

“ you’re going to hurt him.”

“ i see a darkness in you.”

“ you staring at me ass, ___?”

“ sorry. were you sleeping?”

“ wa… wa… water? you want some water?”

“ i wish i had some for you.”

“ so let’s play a game. which body-part do you need the least?”

“ please! i’ll do everything, please.”

“ wouldn’t that be a hunt to remember?”

“ you failed, but i’m a better hunter than you.”

“ how about your  ___? you don’t need that for much do you?”

“ good, let’s start with that.”

“ you’ve been wondering why you’re here, haven’t you?”

“ if you guess right, i’ll tell you. by the old gods and the new, i swear it.”

“ you win the game if you can figure out who i am.”

“ if i win, you’ll let me go?”

“ if you think this has a happy ending, you haven’t been paying attention.”

“ if you say please again, you’ll with you hadn’t.”

“ do i look like a fucking umber to you?”

“ how did you know that?”

“ it was just a guess.”

“ he’s dead. strangled by ____”

“that’s why you’re torturing me.”

“ yes. you win.”

“ but you forgot to ask one question. you forgot to ask if i’m a liar. i’m afraid i am.”

“ everything i’ve told you is a lie.”

“ this isn’t happening to you for a reason. well, one reason. i enjoy it!”

“ please, cut if off, cut if off!”

“ i win!”

“ thank you for riding here so quickly. i know travel isn’t easy in these times.”

“ i had something less permanent in mind.”

“ if we don’t do this, and do it now, we’re lost.”

“ many people would pay a great deal for you.”

“ shall we drink on it?”

“ you do understand how suspicious that is to ordinary people?”

“ i’m afraid i must insist.”

“ you’re in no place to insist on anything.”

“ i would have hoped you’d learned your lesson.” 

“ you may have a stomach for bloodshed and slaughter, but this is another matter entirely.”

“ i will not breathe further life into a malicious lie by discussing it.”

“ i feel like i’m in a dream.”

“ it’s terrible isn’t it? the most terrible place there is.”

“ trying to have me killed is an odd way of saying thank you.”

“ it’s… this… this is awkward.”

“ who doesn’t like to see their friends fail now and then?”