My name is Oliver Queen

“All right,” Sara replied, adding, “But if you get hungry before he wakes up, come and get me or your dad. Or, if you just want to grab your lunch from the fridge, that’s fine, too. We’re all gonna be on odd schedules for a bit, and that’s okay.” Overall, she preferred that they try to eat together more, but she also needed their five-year-old to get some rest, so they’d do the best that they could for the time being. Then Oliver was trying to head back to a still-sleeping Connor, and she requested that they finish their conversation. He was silent, but his mind was running at a million miles an hour. She made a point of meeting his gaze. She didn’t need to say the words, the look she was giving him alone told him that she knew there was more going on than what he was saying. That there was a bigger reason for him wanting to leave the room so desperately, and they needed to deal with it now. As it was - especially with Connor being constantly attached to his father’s hip - they needed to take advantage of the quiet moments when they got them. Still, she didn’t push. She simply waited, giving him the time he needed to find the words or even to just be able to say them. When he finally did speak, his question caught her completely off guard, and she looked like she’d been sucker-punched, tears welling up into her eyes, “...How can you ask me that?” She paused, holding up her hand with her wedding band, “This? This is forever. Dead or alive, I am yours. I will always be yours.”

Sara put her hands up, “Whereas I am still more than happy to be ignored.” Because while the Flash had special coffees and parades, and the Green Arrow had cakes and pajama sets and a statue, the Canary largely went unnoticed - most likely given the confusion between herself and the Black Canary (now another Laurel from another universe, and one she generally gave a wide berth). Regardless, she liked flying under the radar, she liked being able to go out in the field without people already knowing who she was. Then Oliver was insisting that she pick a day for herself, or for both of them, or that he would do it, and she told him that he was going too fast. She also didn’t understand why they wouldn’t keep their focus on the boys, especially when any celebrations would involve all of them anyway. Or why they wouldn’t focus on Oliver, seeing as his actual birthday would be coming up soon. But instead, he gave her an ultimatum, however she never heard a response to her cautioning him to pull back. William interrupted their conversation, looking between them before saying he just wanted to get a glass of water, to which Oliver replied to let them know if he needed anything else. She added, “We’ll be having lunch when Connor gets up - unless you’re hungry now, I already have it ready for you.” As for Oliver’s attempt to leave the kitchen, she responded, “He’s still out, I can hear him snoring. And I’d like to finish our conversation. Please.”

Sara’s mind went to Oliver going to and then returning home from prison, but regardless she told him without a doubt, “It is the worst time. And you’re right, it will, for all of us, and we can’t rush it. Trying to push forward, to take shortcuts - it’ll just bite us in the ass, set us even further back in the long run.” They then returned to a simpler, happier subject - that of Connor’s cookie cake - and she nodded, “He’ll be so excited. You know, he never - not for one second - stopped being proud of you. Of his superhero dad. So a cookie cake, full of frosting, that’s dedicated to you? Yeah, you’ll be looking at designs for a while because he’ll want you to see how many they make in honor of the Green Arrow.” After that, he was assuring her that he understood her focus couldn’t just change overnight, but reminded her it wasn’t just the three of them anymore, either. So while they would celebrate the boys, he wanted to celebrate her, too. Or both of them. But he wanted her to pick a day, urging that if she didn’t, he would, and she stepped backwards. “This is exactly what I’m talking about, you’re pushing too hard, going too fast.” A beat passed before she added, “Can we just focus on the boys? Either way, we’ll all be celebrating together - isn’t that what really matters?”

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“It’s been a step or two forward, and then a lot of backsliding,” Sara admitted. “Not when it comes to schooling, but more when it comes to behavioral things. He’s regressed quite a bit.” Which didn’t mean that she didn’t try, that they didn’t practice things together, or that actions didn’t continue to have consequences. But there were some moments - usually wrapped up in grief, in a need for his dad - where he melted down. Where he was so scared, or confused, or upset that he didn’t know what to do with it, and while she did the best that she could to help him... Both he and William were struggling, and understandably so. Oliver’s comment about letting him pick the cookie design brought her out of her thoughts, and she nodded, “You know he’d love to do that with you. To show you all of the different Green Arrow designs, and how he picks out the best ones.” As for what she said about focusing on celebrating with the boys right now, he told her that they needed to see them celebrating and focusing on more than just the two of them. That they needed to see them celebrating as a family, to which she countered, “We will all be celebrating their birthdays together as a family. But, Oliver... All of my focus has been on them. It had to be. That was the only way the three of us could survive, and that doesn’t just change overnight.”

"It's not the first time," Oliver remembered they had been through a little bit of regression with Connor when William had first moved in permanently and things at home had changed. Now on top of the grief, things had changed. Again. "It'll just take time." He was already considering how long they would be attached to a tablet, going through the different designs. "He can have whichever one he wants." When Sara tried to dismiss his idea of her picking dates too, Oliver shook his head. "It doesn't have to be overnight and it won't be," he assured, "but now it's not just the three of you anymore. So we'll celebrate them," and, if his guess was right, his own birthday wouldn't be far off but that wasn't a concern of his yet, "and we'll celebrate you. We could celebrate us. If you don't want both, just pick one day. If you don't, I will."

Sara nodded in agreement, softly smiling, “That will give them something to look forward to, which isn’t something they’ve had in a long time.” She tried. Felicity tried. The Diggles tried. Thea and Roy tried. They all tried to support the boys in any and every way they could think of, to give them outings or events to look forward to. But they couldn’t give them the one thing - the one person they wanted. Now Oliver was home, and any celebrations they had would feel complete simply because he was there to be a part of them. “He’s going to pout, or give us his best version of your growly voice,” Sara warned, “But we’ve been learning a lot about waiting your turn, and being patient, not to mention I’ll just tell him that will give us more time to plan even more fun things. He’ll calm down.” As for ordering a Green Arrow cookie cake for whatever day Connor chose, she shook her head, “Let him do it. He likes to pick it out. Our five-year-old is a master at picking out whichever design will get him the most frosting.” Which was exactly like Sara and picking out donuts. As much as their son worshipped his dad, there would always be parts of him that were 100 percent Sara. Oliver then brought up choosing days for her birthday and their anniversary, and she shook her head again, “I really think we should focus on you celebrating with the boys for now.”

Oliver didn't want to think about how long it had been since the boys had something to look forward to; he'd promised them a vacation and hadn't been able to follow through because the Monitor had arrived. And there hadn't been much while he had been gone. "He will," he commented at Sara's warning, "but with what you've been working on, it'll be good for him." Her comment about Connor being able to pick out whichever design got him the most frosting made Oliver smirk; like mother, like son. "I'll let him pick the design," he can already imagine being on the couch with a tablet full of cookie cake designs. When she shook her head at the idea of her picking days, he returned it with a shake of his own. "We are focusing on celebrating with the boys for now but they also need to see us celebrating and focusing on more than just the two of them. They need to see us celebrating our family. So when they pick their days, you pick two days. One for you. One for us."