GreenPorkChop

humans should be able to do a special Ultra Sleep after major life accomplishments where you're just out for like 32 hours or something and then you wake up fully refreshed in every way

A truthberry might make you tell the truth... But a lieberry? A lieberry will loan you books

i wish you could laugh react eBay listings. that's not worth $250. you fucking asshole. lmao

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

“that character is a war criminal” that character is from a fictional fantasy world and did not attend the geneva convention

Maekar: rings Officer on duty: You've call the local police station. I'm listening. Maekar: My sons are with you? Officer on duty: What? What sons? Maekar: Ah, you must be new. Then they're not there. Goodbye. Officer on duty: Wait! What the- Security Guard: Who called? Officer on duty: I don't know! Some madman! Asking if his sons were here. Security Guard: Oh, it's Maekar. Officer on duty: Who? Security Guard: Don't worry. His sons aren't here. But you'll meet them soon. It's inevitable.