thats my secret.

“you might not need it, but you might want it. this isn’t a good time to be alone.” bruce was smart, strong — he was everything he needed to be to survive. but there was something more than survival to be found, even if he couldn’t see it at the moment. steve reached out, resting his hand on the other man’s shoulder. “we were on the same team once. i don’t just forget something like that, pal. let’s just talk for a few minutes, alright? then i’ll leave if you want me to.” 

bruce’s remark earned a grin, and steve crossed his arms over his chest, giving a half-shrug. “i’ve never been much good at that — used to frustrate the hell out of the commandos.” and while he certainly had gotten better at it, he was never meant to have the subtlety of a spy; there was a time, a place, and a person for that. sometimes the best approach was more direct. “i’m not a part of shield anymore,” he explained simply. “besides, i’ve showed up at more than one spot thinking i’d find you and found nothing at all, so i’d say you’ve done a damn good job of it. but you can’t run forever, doctor. none of us can.” 

Well...it was too late to say ‘No’ at this point. Bruce sighed as he nodded,  he walked along side with Steve. “Steve-” Bruce opened his mouth to shut it quickly. “-I know you don’t work for shield anymore- but right now i think i’ve done pretty good from running.”

“why- why are you looking for me? if this is about joining some kind of ‘resistance’ or trying to bring me back to the whole freak show thing then i’m not interested.” He said clenching his fists that were tucked inside his coat. “I’m not you’re monster guy who cleans up your messes anymore- im done with that captain and i’m not going back to that anymore, okay?” Banner was done being everyone’s tool to get him to do what they wanted, often times in battle- Bruce never wanted to Hulk out, but of course it was never his choice. It was always either Save the mission or Let people die or get hurt. Bruce hated it, He never wanted to be a tool- a soldier; he wasn’t Steve Rogers. Steve chose to be a soldier...Bruce didn’t really have a choice.

He was just a guy with the WORST amount of luck, nothing ever goes his way and usually the danger often leeches onto him, risking the lives of innocents for even associating with him. His father always told him he was a monster from hell, that he was the reason why his own mother died trying to save him- that every bad thing that ever happened in this world was because of his own miserable existence. Was it selfish of him? Selfish to not want to join in on any battles? Maybe.

of course, he tried to fix it by trying to be a hero with the Hulk, but even then...the Hulk didn’t want to be someone’s tool either so neither of them got what they wanted during their time with the Avengers. Though Bruce could hardly figure out the Hulk, he wasn’t exactly an easy book to read but at least now they both reached an understanding.

Clark nodded understandingly at his and smiled as he offered the man a hot cup of mocha. “It’s ok to sound a little broody,” he reassured the physicist. “That’s a lot of work, having to learn to share a body and figure out what to do with power. Responsibility is quite a heavy burden. I’m glad you both managed to find common ground. I imagine it couldn’t have been easy.” Things that took work generally, by definition, weren’t. He pushed up his glasses and settled down more comfortably in his seat, taking a sip of his own coffee. “I really appreciate you sharing all this with me by the way. I know it’s hard to trust reporters with this sort of personal stuff.”

Bruce accepted the friendly hot cup of mocha, he chuckled lightly at the reporters response. “Well, you’re one of the few who understand for the most part.” he said as he took a sip. “Lots of people judge us by the destruction the hulk causes and by what the papers say about him...calling us a ‘monster’.”

well, that wasn’t great — there wasn’t much worse than greeting someone and hearing shit in answer. and it only seemed to get worse, each statement from the man building on itself. it shined on bruce’s face, and steve let him run through it. hell, steve would have let him run off if he needed; he wasn’t looking to start a fight he couldn’t win in a town they both wanted to remain anonymous in. 

“i’m not here to bring you in, bruce,” steve said softly. he had never been good at this, at being the kind of friend that bruce needed. ( he liked to think they were friends, but then again, he had thought of tony as a friend too. ) steve followed after bruce, keeping his distance and never walking too quickly. 

“i heard you were here.” steve kept every part of himself non-threatening, let the golden truth come through him. “i thought you might need some help.” 

Damn it Steve.

Bruce stopped his tracks and pulls steve in an alleyway so they can talk. “Rodgers, you of all people should know that I don’t need help. I’ve been doing fine on my own.” he replied. “You didn’t have to come here, im not worth it.” Bruce meant that dearly, almost like he was begging him to just go on with whatever he was doing to and to just completely disregard him.

But, why him? Why was he doing this exactly? Why did he go through all the trouble to even arrive in New York, risking his own privacy and getting locked up? Banner didn’t understand it all himself, which is why it irritated him a lot.

Bruce closely examined who was at the party, so many familiar faces...and so many unrecognizable ones. He sighed, this was stupid and a waste of time. Maybe a part of him wished things could go back to the way they were before, maybe not. All they ever needed him for was to be the muscle that they can control. Bruce never felt like a true equal when he was part of The Avengers, so why bother?

Bruce didn’t expect any mail delivered to him, he was hesitant to open this mysterious letter. the man stared at the card and placed it on his kitchen table. It had been a couple of hours since he had just left the card there, and yet it bothered him.

His heart rate increased a little, and with a deep breath..Bruce finally reached out and opened the letter, his eyes widened when he saw a familiar name ‘TONY STARK’ and then stopped his tracks. “No.” he thought. “How?? how did they send him this??” So many unanswered questions rushed in his head, but regardless he kept reading the card.

It was a gala invitation, for this Saturday. shit.

Banner can’t go, he can’t, this has to be a trap. This MUST be a trap. The second he reveals himself out of the open is when the tanks come in to take him away. Especially with the registration act. Bruce walked over and sat down in his couch, still holding onto the card. He didn’t know what to do, he needed to run, no. If they sent this to him...then they already know where he is. Where’s the Army? Tanks? Jets? Weapons??? Clam down Banner.

The ex Avenger rose the card again so he can have one last look, staring at Tony’s name. Its been years since he last saw them...since he last saw Tony. Bruce clenched on the card before dropping it. He was ANGRY.

There was only one way to let out steam.

“ I uh- I ‘catch’ everyone...well, try to at-least. “ Bruce explained with a forced smile. “ The big guy looks out for everyone, sure he may be a little rough on the edges but no matter what he still tries. “ The man continued keep his hands busy as he could feel his anxiety rise. “ When you have...super human abilities- you either try to use them for good or evil. Hulk and I struggled with this concept because all he wanted to do was hurt and he left done. “ he explained using his hands as he talked. “ I just wanted it all to stop, it was a really...long process but I think we both came to terms to do good...try to, even if we’re not welcomed here. “

yes and no, bruce does so many things to even out the chaos and destruction the hulk causes...helping the sick, helping people with construction, brainstorming ways to help villagers, create world breaking equations and technology to aid humanity...etc. he and hulk do try so hard to do good when he was with the avengers, saving the world and stopping bad guys count as doing good right?

to them a ‘good’ life would mean settling down, with someone or alone. bruce wants to just live like anyone else. to experience excitement, get the flu, to fall and scrape a knee, to be ‘human’. he can’t experience these things like anyone else because of the hulk and so many nights and days he feels like he’s not even human. bruce wishes he was cured of the hulk but deep down he knows that the hulk cant be something he can remove, the hulk is apart of him and he has to deal with it.

bruce hates being alone, isolated, he’s always felt different and a burden to family and friends, and now with the hulk he feels the need to remove himself from any party because its safer. its agony. all he wants is to live without the fear of loosing control. to love and be loved.

“ With all due respect Captain... “ the doctor stopped typing on whatever he was working on, turning his body to face carol. “ ...but I’m trying to finish working, and I don’t want to be disturbed while I work. “ The man gave her a forced smile before going back to what he was doing before he was interrupted. He knew he was weak, too many good people got hurt because of his kindness. His mother, Betty, Rick, Jennifer....there was no end. No matter where he was...Bruce was a threat to ever single person who came in contact with, it didn’t matter if it was positive or negative.

The man struggled with this, he felt as if he was a ticking time bomb that was about to explode, and whoever was around was going to get hurt....someone always does. So, Bruce runs and appears as nothing but a ghost everywhere he went, but despite his fear...Bruce Banner did not hesitate to help people in need. Deep down, he needed a reminder that he could be good. He was good right? He was a good person right? right? 

right?