young, proud, free.

“Get your nose out of my ass and head back to the orphanage because it’s none of your fucking business, Annie.” 

“I’m not trying to be nosy. It just... looks like maybe you shouldn’t be alone right now.”

“isn’t it? like, fuck the notebook. this is a true love story. i’ve pondered the idea myself, but i’m not too sure i’d be able to pull it off. it takes a very special person to rock a waffle tattoo, but i’m sure you could.”

“Someone write the screenplay immediately. Also, I’m flattered. I may even just have you do it.”

“ i really should have, now that i think about it. ”

“There’s always next time.”

a good mix indeed.

All I can imagine is a pig in makeup.

adrien: i fell into the bay while trying to deliver a pizza

adrien: then the customer pulled me out just to cuss me out

adrien: it was a rough day.....

“It appears so, but I refuse to believe I’m dead so maybe not.”

“I feel like once you’re dead you probably don’t know that you’re dead.”

“I wanna say yes, but I thought Heaven would smell a lot better.”

“They smell like sunshine and happiness.”

emilia: i wish

“I think it is, yes.”

“Can we stay here forever?”

“can we have them all, please?”

“I am not opposed to the idea, but where will we keep them? How will we name them? So many questions...”

“kumquat, kumquat… why exactly are we repeating the names of fruits?”

“Because they’re fun to say, silly!”

micah: lmao i'm not cai

micah: he's the pussy lover, i'm a doglet person

grayson: i respect your opinion but

“I guess that’s better than being a soccer mom. I’m only twenty, though. I don’t wanna go through my midlife crisis yet.”

“You’re talking like being a wine mom is bad. I aspire to be a wine mom.”

“I don’t care what people think of me. I don’t get why people act like I should. Why do I need to take other people’s dumb ass opinions and let them affect my life, you know? Some people need to just grow a fucking backbone and think for themselves and also realise that just because they care doesn’t mean I do. Fucking hell– and this top probably cost more than that old bitch makes in a week. I look fashionable and my boobs are fantastic, fuck yeah I should show them off.”

“You look fabulous, and if someone else can’t see that, they’re blind and probably shouldn’t be looking anyways. I’m pretty sure your happiness and your confidence is all that matters.”

“today this dude came into the parlor and asked me if i could tattoo a picture of a stack of waffles on the upper left side of his chest. i didn’t ask any questions, because it’s not like that’s the weirdest thing anyone’s ever asked me to do for them. but once i finished, i couldn’t help but ask ‘em. he then proceeded to tell me about all his past relationships and how all of them have cheated on him. he ended his story by saying ‘anyway, waffles have never hurt me. they won’t cheat on me. so i tattooed them on my heart.’ i doubt i’ll ever see that guy again, but his priorities are sure intact.”

“That’s the prettiest story I’ve ever heard. And now suddenly I’m inspired to get a tattoo of waffles.”

cassie: would u mind maybe doing me a gigantic favor

cassie: i would owe u big time

grayson: sure!!

“ so, i was taking some pre-wedding pictures for some weirdass couple this morning and they made me take about thirty five shots of their pet lizard for the album. like who cares about a goddamn lizard that fucking much ? that’s not even the worst part though. at one point they started making out while i had to hold the lizard and they kept making these weird lizard mating noises as they licked each other’s faces. i think it’s safe to say i’m scarred for life. this is why i’m never getting married, fuck that shit. ”

“I really hope you charged extra.”