please don't start

emilia was in her favourite place finally putting her so called detox into action, she had just finished up practicing this weeks routine so she decided to free-style for a bit not realising anyone was outside watching but as soon as she turned around to face the door she jumped with fright and walked over to open it. “sorry i didn’t see you there, do you need the studio?” she flashed them a smile.

adrien was about to knock on the glass, but stopped short to quietly watch. he laughed as she opened the door. “no, no, it’s fine! sorry for surprising you. but, one day, you need to teach me your sick moves.”

“it’s just that..you make me all mushy and shit.” he said,holding onto adrien tightly- never wanting to let go. benji nodded like the lil puppy he was. “everyone always leaves..” he trailed off, looking down at his feet. “good because i like having you around. i just am super anxious for you to move in. i hate sleeping alone.”

“i make you mushy? ha, did you just see me cry?” he grinned, pulling benji into his chest and resting his chin on benji’s shoulder. “well, i won’t. i’ll be right here, pinky promise.” he kissed benji’s forehead, before sticking out his pinky. “you do, huh? and i can sleep over as much as you want.”

a tear rolled down his cheek and he was finally letting himself cry. he cared too much about adrien to let this go. “i love you adri..i just want to help.” he wanted to say what was on his mind but he didn’t want to upset him anymore. benji leaned closer to him and hugged him, kissing him all over his face until he reached his lips. “please don’t ever leave me..” he whispered, warm salty tears rolling down his face. “i’ve lost too many people in my life and i can’t loose you..you’re my person.” benji just wished adrien would let him know why he couldn’t help.

“shh, enough tears,” he cooed, cupping benji’s face with his hands. “i love you too, but you’ve gotta let me handle this.” he smiled weakly as he wrapped his arms around the brunet’s waist. he quietly chuckled as he face was kissed. “who said i was leaving?” he questioned, hands gently rubbing at benji’s cheeks. “hey, whoa, hold on. i’m not going anywhere, i never was.” he stated firmly. his heart faulted, his person... “and i’ll be your person until you don’t want me to. i’m not leaving you.”

“why are you making this harder for me?” he sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. trying to cove his face because his face was turning red in frustration. “i guess.” benji shrugged. “but i want to help..” 

"i'm not trying to, really," he sighed defeatedly. he could tell he was making benji upset, but what could he do? he wasn't a charity case, and he hated pity. "it's me, i'm just not into letting people do things for me. i know you want to help, and that's everything to me. i just..." he trailed off. he should explain himself – talk about his parents and the storm, how now he's too afraid to ask for help – but he couldn't bring himself to. "sorry, i just need to do this."

“hey hey hey, you’re not.” he said moving closer to adrien. “are you not going to move in with me?” benji raised an eyebrow, sighing heavily. “don’t apologize,love.” he ran a hand through adrien’s hair, forcing a reassuring smile. “yea i guess but then i’ll be unemployed…” benji trailed off. he let it go that the fact that adrien was crying. “i won’t..” he laughed nervously, kissing his lips gently. “w-why can’t i?” he sounded frustrated now. 

“yeah, maybe i'm not now...” he scoffed, taking another step back. “i will, i just need to figure out things first, you know? but i will.” he felt like he was making the situation worse. his eyebrows furrowed, because he knew that wasn’t a real smile - but he left it alone. “that’s true, sorry. maybe you could find something else?” he offered, knowing damn well he couldn’t even find something else for himself, though. “good...” adrien leaned into the kiss. “because i need to do this on my own, benji.” he groaned, tiredly running a hand over his face.

“yea but have you tried the multigrain? it’s on the healthy side but they are so good. i’m sorry, there was an opportunity and i took it. wait what - hold up !! why don’t you want to move in with him? why would you rather live on the street? that’s actually not a bad idea..but like how young? i’m twenty six, i don’t want to be a cougar. aww thanks adrien, that’s so sweet of you. i agree, she’s overdramatic but i think she’s beautiful. true, that’s a good point.”

“no, but multigrain also sounds like it might taste like cat food? i might try it, though, but not dry. it’s alright, i don’t mind really, it was actually pretty funny. because i barely have enough money to pay my rent, i’m not about to move in with him and not pay rent there. how young? well, if you divide your age and add seven... twenty years old. shhh, no one says that anymore, you’re fine. well, it’s true! yeah, that’s also true, but i can’t see past the melodramatics.”

“why won’t you let me help you?” he said tilting his head. “well you are..” benji always had people pushing him away and he couldn’t let adrien do that to him. “i don’t know, i just hate it there to be honest.” he sighed heavily. “wait really?” benji smiled softly, picking up his head. “hey hey hey, don’t cry.” he cooed,caressing’s adrien’s cheek and wiping his tears. “okay. i love you more.” benji said, a tear rolling down his cheek. “shit now you got me crying.” he laughed nervously, taking adrien’s hands and holding them. “let me help you out.”

“i can’t be a burden to you too...” he whispered, moving away from benji. that’s how he had gotten into all of this in the first place. he couldn’t stomach the thought of causing someone any hardship, especially benji. “i’m.. i’m sorry,” he sighed, regretting bringing up the topic in the first place. “oh, well then you should quit. if it makes you unhappy, screw it, right?” he suggested, smiling a little. “i’m not crying,” adrien muttered, quickly rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. he reluctantly laughed, copying benji’s actions and wiping at the tear, “i’m sorry, ha, don’t cry, babe.” he frowned and shook his head, “please don’t. i can’t let you.” 

“I mean, you could try to get a job… That might solve your problem.”

“I have a job, it just doesn’t pay enough. I had another job, but I quit. So, now, I’m struggling a little bit. I just figured ebay could help me out.”

“well i wouldn’t know considering i’m a cheerios kind of gal. how would you know what cat food is like? that’s pretty gross. i mean i knew you liked pussy..kidding. spill, i love hearing about relationships. makes me happy and sort of wish i had my own. there are literally no suitable men my age. maybe i can be the next bacherlotte. then again im not as pretty as jojo. honestly if i had a boyfriend i would just eat his food and wear all his clothes. mens clothes are just so comfy. i eat so much to be honest i’m surprised i don’t have a weak stomach.”

“cheerios aren’t bad, but they don’t have marshmallows so. i don’t, i’m just making an assumption! oh god, please stop... what is there to spill? he wants me to move in, and i rather live on the street than with him? what do you mean? why not date someone younger than? people always do that. i disagree, i think you’re pretty than jojo. i think she’s fake, but you know, reality tv does that. yeah? well, you can just buy mens clothing, and say they’re your boyfriend’s? i don’t think that’s how the body works, though.”

“i love you too..and this is how i am showing you that i love you. yes, yes i can. you’re my boyfriend. i get to spoil you.” he sighed, gently moving his chin so he would face him. “don’t push me away,adri..” benji smiled softly,tilting his head. “you know i was going to quit my job at starbucks but i didn’t..because i got to see you everyday. i was hoping that one day i would work up the courage to talk to you.” he paused to smile, thinking about adrien made his heart beat out of his chest. “i thought to myself ‘this boy makes me want to get up every morning he must be special..’”  benji reached out to gently cup his face with his hands. “before i met you i wanted to DIE, i didn’t see a point in life. but then i saw you walk into starbucks and i got butterflies. i thought to myself ‘i want him.’ and guess what?” he smiled softly, leaning in closer. “now you’re mine.”  benji smiled before leaning in to kiss him. “don’t ever shut me out adrien ebby.”

“no, no, seriously don’t. i can’t be-... i’ll figure something out on my own, promise.” he weakly smiled, lifting a hand to caress benji’s cheek. “i’m not pushing you away- i mean, i’m not trying to.” he shook his head. “why would you quit?” he asked, confused. he swallowed hard, quietly listening to his boyfriend. “i-...” adrien suddenly felt his chest tighten. “i only went to that starbucks because you were there. i didn’t even drink coffee before you,” he whispered, lowering his head. “god, i feel like the biggest asshole in the world now.” he forced out a laugh as he tried to hide the tears in his eyes. he smiled into the kiss. “i won’t shut you out, okay? i love you, like god, i love you so much.”

“adrien, it’s time to resort to becoming a sugar baby.” 

“you know, that joke would’ve been funny if it weren't so true. can you be a sugar baby without the sex?”

“well you could try eating it dry, i always thought fruit loops and cheerios taste better dry to be quite frank with you. aren’t you moving in with that adorable boyfriend of yours? you can ask him for some cash, i don’t think he would mind. or just raid his fridge. he eats a lot. at least that’s what ems tells me.”

“no, do you know how nasty lucky charms are dry? without the marshmallows, it’s like eating cat food. oh, uh, yeah i guess so? nope, no way in hell i’m asking him for money. i might raid his fridge, though.. nah, he eats a normal amount, he’s just got a weak stomach.”