Graken

A hill im dying on

we deserved better

Wanna die but don’t have the energy to kill myself.

nine months and seven days, Turkey day in two and I'm planning on making the green bean casserole this year and from now on. but this is the first and it wouldn't have to be if the timing were better. you died one day before valentines day, two days before turbys birthday, one month and nineteen days before easter, two months and 24 days before Coreys birthday, four months and four days before fathers day, four months an seventeen days before bubbas birthday, six months and four days before Megas birthday, six months and 28 days before my 21st, seven month and 22 days before your 51st birthday, eight month and 28 days before Codys birthday, and nine months and nine days before thanksgiving. hurts just like it was yesterday and like a fucking cliché the holidays fucking suck now. I couldn't give less of a shit because you're not here with us. you're not gonna be there to get baked with before we eat, you won't be drunk by the time we leave and I won't hear you complain about how “you're so full you hurt” then watch you eat spoonfuls of leftovers in the kitchen before they’re put away. they aren't the fucking same without you and are incredibly sad... no one acts like they are hurting and wising you were there making jokes and getting excited to eat. those are my all time favorite memories. looking forward to getting baked on the way up there, everyone going in the trailer to get even more baked before we eat and then getter more baked before dessert. it was our little family thing we had going for years and we all looked forward to it and now we go for grandma. theres never going to be a good time for you to die but fuck was it bad fucking timing, turkey day is your favorite. 

🖤

I don’t know what I’m feeling anymore

I miss you more than I can put into words. Im so empty