What happened to my April 2020 Goals: My First Steps to Gaining Weight + My Goals for May 2020
For the month of April, I set three goals for myself:
1. To wake up in the morning each day.
My body clock has been pretty messed up since last year. I've always been a night owl, so when I was reviewing for SOA exam P, I got used to studying all through out the night and going to bed when the sun is almost up. I usually woke up at around 2 in the afternoon. I got enough of sleep and I got enough work done at night, but I missed pretty much most of the day and I felt like my days were going too fast. Last March, in the midst of quarantine and having no classes, I felt worse about my sleeping schedule. I thought waking up super late in the day made me unproductive and still left me feeling like I had no energy. I also felt like I was always running late especially when I had to meet a professor at school or needed to go to the bank. It also made me miss breakfast and lunch and even with that, I woke up not feeling hungry at all. I felt like I was losing weight again and I dreaded it. So I made myself wake up in the morning all through out April, still not early in the morning but at least before noontime, so I can do (and eat) more during the day.
2. To eat breakfast everyday.
As I've already mentioned, I kept skipping my breakfast because of my bad sleeping schedule before April. I know that breakfast literally means breaking your fast from sleeping, so any meal you eat after you wake up from a long sleep is your breakfast. But in March, I would wake up not feeling hungry at all so I didn't eat anything immediately and sometimes I didn't notice the time, it would already be dinnertime for my family and that's only when I would remember to eat. I was like doing intermitent fasting without even trying. I didn't get to eat 3 meals a day at all. I only ate twice and sometimes once a day, and it left me feeling so weak, all I wanted was to lay in bed all day. I often got headaches as well. So when April came, I told myself that I need to fix this problem if I wanted to gain weight. I have to eat after I wake up in the morning, fill my stomach with something and be energized for the day.
I realized that one reason why I did not feel hungry even when I missed meals was because I had no appetite. Even when I ate, even when the food used to be my favorite, even when it was so tasty, I could only eat a small amount. I told myself, this can't be. I have to eat a lot to gain weight. It had been like this for a long time now. I didn't get hungry after I woke up, I didn't get hungry when it was the usual time for a meal like during lunchtime. And I realized that it was because I wasn't always eating my meals on time and I kept missing meals. I did a lot of searches related to appetite on Google and Youtube and in every article or video that I read or watched, it was recommended to eat on a schedule so that your body gets used to it that when the time comes when you usually have a meal, you will feel hungry and you will have the appetite to eat. So I thought, I have to eat my breakfast, lunch and dinner on the usual times that most people eat them. But since I only made it a goal to wake up anytime before noon, I was content with setting around noon time as my breakfast time, anytime before evening as my lunch time and evening as my dinner time. I also only made myself eat 3 main meals even when it's usually recommended to eat more often throughout the day for weight gain (I eat some snacks too, I made myself a meal plan which I'll share to you soon!), because I thought that I might not be able to eat 4-5 meals a day since I was still used to eating twice a day, I might not be able to reach that goal. So I set a reasonable and achievable goal for myself.
The month had come to an end, it's actually already May 1st when I'm writing this, and I'm glad to say that I'd been pretty much consistent in working on my goals. I tracked my progress using the Habit app on my phone.
As you can see, I only really started getting consistent on April 12, because that was when I started my meal plan and I told myself that to be able to stick with my meal plan and eat everything in it, I had to wake up early to be able to eat my 3 meals, which were basically already my goals. I didn't do them every single day (some days I forgot to track them too ๐
) but I'm already happy that I did them on MOST days. I also hadn't been waking as early as I wanted to. Although I didn't make it a goal to wake up early, I set my alarm clock at 9am every single day because to me that was an ideal time to wake up, but I just turn the alarm off and close my eyes again, promise to just get the dryness out of my eyes then I'll get up from my bed but I usually fall back to sleep. ๐
I'd get up right before noontime or when I wake up and it's past 11, I usually turn to my phone and check social media until it's way past noon and I'd only get up when I remember that I have a meal plan to stick to and goals to accomplish. It's been like that the past few days, but for the most days, I was successful in getting up before 10am.
There were days that I wasn't able to eat 3 meals, but note that what I consider my meals are the meals in my meal plan. So if I didn't eat the lunch that's in my meal plan because I got so full from the food that isn't in my meal plan that my mother gave me (like bananacue and boiled potatoes ๐คค), then I skipped lunch even when there was an alternative. (Also, if you're Filipino, you know that any meal without rice is not considered a meal. ๐)
I was most successful in eating breakfast each day. There was just a day that I stayed too long in bed after waking up so I didn't consider that I ate my breakfast that day even when I did, a punishment for not getting up immediately. ๐
I'm honestly kind of still disappointed about myself for not doing all these every single day but as I've told myself before, this is enough. I have actually already made it a habit to wake up in the morning and eat my breakfast and I have an appetite and these are all that matters. My end goals are to wake up early and to eat my meals to gain weight, and I'm happy that I know I'm getting there already. I think what hugely contributed to my success is that I set achievable goals for myself. I didn't ask myself to wake up at 7am. I didn't ask myself to eat 6 meals a day. I didn't ask myself to gain these many pounds in a month. I made myself took baby steps instead of long strides that don't last that long because they're just very hard to do when you still have short limbs. I also looked for the root of my problems. I couldn't eat a lot so I couldn't gain weight, but that was because I didn't really have an appetite. I couldn't eat at least 3 meals a day, but that was because I wake up so late. So I worked on my appetite and getting up in the morning.
I've realized many things in the month of April and I'm definitely going to take those lessons with me through the month of May to be able to achieve my new goals.
For the month of May, I want to:
1. Wake up and get up from bed earlier, before 10am.
Having my lunch and dinner almost right after the other keeps my stomach very full and I feel uncomfortable. So I'd have to get up earlier so as to have more time in between my meals for my food to get digested properly.
2. Be more consistent in eating 3 meals a day.
I just hope I have all the foods and ingredients I need for my meal plan all the time. If that doesn't happen often, then I'd have to settle with alternatives, especially to my ulams, but I'll make sure I eat a full cup of rice every lunch and dinner.
I know this might seem excessive but I want to try the 30-day ab workout challenge and see if it really works. Eating more food has me feeling bloated most of the time and I think doing ab workouts helps with that, so I'll try doing it everyday for 10-20 minutes. I'll also be dedicating alternate days for upper body and lower body workouts.
I hope to develop better habits this May and get nearer my goals. I also wish you success in your own journey, whatever that may be. Let's keep working hard and striving for the best for ourselves. ๐
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