oh my fucking god can one of you come kill me i cant do this shit
wallacepolsom
DEAR READER

Product Placement
sheepfilms

Kaledo Art

izzy's playlists!
we're not kids anymore.
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

★
Cosimo Galluzzi

@theartofmadeline

Andulka
Cosmic Funnies
Claire Keane
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
NASA
Three Goblin Art
Show & Tell

Origami Around
seen from United States
seen from France
seen from Austria

seen from Romania

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United Kingdom
seen from India
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia

seen from Germany

seen from United Kingdom
seen from United Kingdom

seen from United States

seen from Germany
seen from Iraq

seen from United States

seen from Germany

seen from Germany
@gravemirrored
oh my fucking god can one of you come kill me i cant do this shit

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
“IMG_0247” (2008)
hesitant alien is so great because you listen to it and it makes you sick to your stomach with grief
June 8, 2004: My Chemical Romance releases Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge
some thoughts:
even before flowey, asriel was… good at being the right person in every situation. a natural social chameleon. with the dreemurrs, he was the perfect son to toriel and asgore, a sweet shy boy who wore his heart on his sleeve, while w chara he was a Teasing Brotherly Type who would join in on all their plans and schemes. he has to have been a better liar and better at acting than the crybaby comments suggest - he hid that he knew why chara was dying from toriel. i’m not suggesting that he was, like, sinister about it, just that he’s naturally good at putting up a front, conscious or not
and then as flowey, he refined that, used that, played with it. he was everyone’s best friend, everyone’s perfect confidant! in a way that actually echoes frisk, his first approach to everything was to Be What Everyone Needed - and then when reset after reset burnt out his hopes of something lasting that mattered, he instead used that to push everyone’s buttons. and he picked up a new persona - the cruel, tormenting flowey, who wouldnt care at all who he hurt, who had nothing left, who definitely didn’t miss anything as pathetic as feelings.
so at the end of undertale, when we see asriel go from Taunting Cruel God Of Hyperdeath to Sweet Sad Kid Who Made Mistakes But Who Loves You, when we see Asriel set up a clear dividing line between himself and Flowey that is proven a lie if you try to do a true reset and see Flowey plead w you to let everyone live their lives… when we see flowey clearly try to slip into Your Co-conspirator And Best Friend Azzy mode in No Mercy, and the mask slips at the end when he begs and it’s just Azzy…
if we see Asriel act like Flowey and Flowey act like Asriel, again and again, when the defenses drop…
do we really think it’s just the presence or absence of the soul that makes a difference?
This is the only asriel/flowey meta that Truly Gets Me.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
anna and mabel and the girl in the mirror
can anything live inside a mirror? if you change and your reflection stays the same, which of you is the real girl and which is the fake? are you real, really real, if the only person who can see you is yourself? are you more real than your reflection? does the moon do more than reflect the sun?
+ bonus from letter from juniper
should go over the mabel transcripts & rewatch rgu its been too longggg
"love is a leash" (that pulls both ways) is a motif introduced in the context of romantic love (annamabel) or marriage (king and luna) but of course it really applies to familial love; the tension between care and obligation is introduced from the start with anna's profession. her title is "companion" or "carer." very early on she expresses that her job is "like being a cross between an infant and a senior citizen. Your life isn’t really something that belongs to you." she juxtaposes the "natural" position of helplessness and dependence on the care of others (under capitalism--the luck of what family you find yourself in) with her own, where age and ability dictate she should be autonomous but she isn't by profession.
a couple episodes later she expresses frustration with mabel (that she herself acknowledges is unfair) -- that anna is stuck with the sole responsibility for the mess of sally's decline and death. she blames mabel for the fact that sally is dying alone and anna has to watch her die--indirectly, for the fact that anna herself is alone. again anna is naturalizing the familial bond, the idea that the adult child is responsible for the declining parent as a sort of repayment for being raised by them.
i think most listeners' reaction to anna's early narration, with the hindsight of knowing mabel is trapped and suffering and sally was severely abusive through her entire childhood, is frustration nearing revulsion towards anna; anna is painfully naive. but it's also twofold: not just why isn't mabel here, why is poor sally stuck with an artificial caretaker (paid) instead of a natural one (filial); but also: why am i here? why is it me who is here and has no life outside of this dying woman?
the answer is obviously: anna is paid, this is her job, with the corollary being: this is her choice. anna herself insists over and over that she likes her job, she chose to do this. it's hard for anna to challenge her hegemonic ideal of family, but i think in a similar way it's easy for the audience to see mabel as the sole victim of this ideal. due to the child abuse. which is fair! but it also unconsciously naturalizes anna's "choice". the nuclear family in its ideal form belongs to the bourgeoisie. as kollontai points out, the bourgeois woman's joining of the workforce in the mid 19th century (the birth of the feminist movement) comes far after the working woman's. the bourgeois woman, driven to seek economic independence, identifies the family as entrapment. domestic labor then gets outsourced to proletariat women (already forced to leave the home), who are acknowledged and paid for it, which bourgeois feminism labels as a mutual win. it's easy to see here how choice here is negligible.
Anyways in this case sally repeatedly collapses the boundary between employee and family, putting anna up in her daughter's bedroom. and then she leaves the house to anna, legally and financially binding her in the position of family.
I leave you my house because you are the only person I know who understands how to care for a thing. That has been your job with me, and it will be your job a little while longer.
anna "understands how to care" because it was her job. sally deliberately unifies these; she understands it as a surer and more reliable form of obligation than blood. anna describes what sally's done to her as indenture.
+ i know this isn't canonical bc based off of what we're given, thomas was just lost and seeking directions, but i don't think it's a stretch to imagine a class divide between him and the martins--hence his total exclusion from mabel's life. his function for the martins is essentially to produce an heir, and then he's discarded. thinking about this + the idea of changelings from fairy stories + anna's uncle disappearing and the $300 payment.
I'm aware this is a sensitive topic (as are most things in RGU to be fair) but something I feel like worth discussing is the potential of the sunlit garden memories being an allegory for CSA. Kozue already reads as a victim of such even before the whole Akio thing happens, but talking sunlit garden:
Everything is happy. Cue traumatic/tragic event for Kozue that Miki blames himself irrationally for because he wasn't there for her. Following is a divide between the two siblings as Miki desperately clings onto the past when everything was happy (notably an illusion) whereas Kozue seeks to grow up fast seeing no other option despite also yearning for a time when everything was happy despite knowing it was a lie. Kozue is also hell bent on making sure Miki does not get preyed upon even if at her lowest point she wishes he understood and was as "impure" as her. Note also the lack of sexual boundaries in the family where Kozue knows only how to gain approval/attention via sex even when it is wildly inappropriate. Then there's the whole thing with the divorce and the resentment and how Kozue says her and Miki don't need their parents.
See where I'm going? Given the intensely fucked up dynamics of the families in this show… it's something to consider. If we go by this reading, I'm not sure Miki would even know exactly what happened. Maybe he really does believe the sunlit garden incident is what did in his relationship with his sister, but the sunlit garden is fundamentally illusory. It never truly existed, and if we look at it this way it's a veil Miki puts over the past to cope with potential horrible truths, and if Miki can blame himself forever for something small he can feel like something has been fixed.
Been thinking about Kozue, especially because of this post

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
If We Lived Here by Paula Rebsom
STAGE DIRECTIONS FOR A MISSING SELF - my newest zine
A short, experimental work about memory, dissociation, and the versions of ourselves that exist in photographs when we don't remember being there.
Available on gumroad:
Stage Directions for a Missing Self is a small experimental zine combining illustration, script-like dialogue, and blackout poetry.Using pho
oofotyknit
NO LIVE ORGANISM CAN CONTINUE FOR LONG TO EXIST SANELY UNDER CONDITIONS OF ABSOLUTE REALITY EVEN LARKS AND KATYDIDS ARE SUPPOSED BY SOME TO DREAM

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
something something the horror and justice of humanity in piranesi's status as an imprisoned biracial man having labor imposed on him and finding solace in connecting to the world around him which loves him and cradles him when he's distressed. something something the other imposes his will on the house and expects it to give him what he needs without respecting it and eventually is drowned by the same tides he wrote off as irrelevant because they couldn't help him in the way he wanted. something something a white cross and albatross. a lost identity and found kindness. an old home and new place to live.
red sky at morning