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I feel like I'd like a place to share my creative output, and some random thoughts and experiences. So I'm trying tumblr.

Creative output includes drawings, maybe some 3d models, I'll see what more comes to my mind.

As for thoughts, I'll just say I'll be mentioning my health and well-being going through chemotherapy so some topics might be on the heavier side

Not everything will be terrible though. I'll be also posting pictures of my cat :)

I was quietly planning to play some games on Switch or plan out the next month or maybe even study a bit for tests but didn't really manage to do that. I was too overwhelmed between stressing about the hospital and resting while receiving medications. I still consider this stay a full success because I managed to stay there and get the full dose. It is a struggle.

I had horrible time but it's necessary. The hospital care is good. It's just I can't control my emotions and my body's reaction to getting chemo is intense fear. Maybe I should be more willing to take calming medicine during hospital stays.

I'll be slowly getting myself back together. I have a few college assignments in the next two weeks but for now I need some rest. I think I'll be participating in the Art Fight this year. I don't want to definitely tell yet, because I want to see how I'll be feeling after chemo and I have a college semester to finish this month.

Here have some cat pictures for the road. Also a doodle I made for @aadenboy before I went to the hospital. I don't know whether I should put a trigger warning while writing about chemo.

A bird decided to make use of a birdhouse next to my terrace. To me it looks like a great tit. (Checking for English bird names sure is fun) They're pretty common in Europe. Anyway it means that I get to see it constantly checking on the inside of the birdhouse. I noticed that small birds make different paths while flying. They glide less and seem it seems like they have to flap their wings more often than bigger birds to keep themselves in the air.

The most obvious reason is my health. While I'm going through chemotherapy I don't feel the symptoms of my cancer. Instead I have side effects of chemo, which I'll probably talk about in more detail some other time but they're more preferable than the symptoms. Especially since the side effects of the treatment should go away after finishing it.

Another one is lower stress. While going through the first year of college for the first time over three years ago I was severely overwhelmed by stress. I could barely handle classes and living by myself for the first time. Especially living by myself. To the point that if I were to point at a thing that substantially contributed to my disease it would be the constant stress in college.

There's something slightly deeper though. More reasons. Around the time I was finishing high school I was in a comparable situation to where I am right now. As in I surmounted an important part of life, had a clear goal in front of me and was in a stable environment. However I now feel hmm... Happier isn't the correct term, it's more confident. I feel that over the last four years I've learned better how to live "more properly", or at least in a more sustainable manner.

I suppose it's called growing up but I still think it's interesting how it affected my outlook on the meaning of life.

To delve deeper let's start with the notion of life having no grander purpose. It's a concept I went through during early teens and at the time concluded that means that life has no meaning, therefore it's worthless. A few years have passed and in the meantime my environment changed to a one that could support me better mentally and emotionally. I started to open up a little and began working on myself with a lot of help from psychologist. This slowly led me to change my opinion on the worthlessness of life.

So that was my view when I finished high school. Life has no grander purpose, there is no imposed meaning to it and it's still worth living because you're free to choose what's important to you.

May is coming to an end so I decided to plant the flowers I've been watering for the past one and a half months. They should bloom in a month or so. While I was watering them my cat decided to play with the splashing water from the can.

Also the carrots are growing well. I have to get rid of a few. I planted another row between them but it didn't have enough time show anything yet.

And since it's warm we've got a lot of bugs in the garden. I managed to get a bee on camera.

Well this changes my plans for the week. I've been to the hospital and didn't pass the qualification, so I won't be taking chemo right now. They base it on blood tests. In any case, the doctor changed a few medications and scheduled me for the next Friday. Hopefully by then the tests will allow me to get more chemo.

Anyway suddenly I'll be able to attempt an exam tomorrow. I still have a lot of learning for it but if it goes well then I'll have one less thing to worry about in June. I'll also have to write a few emails that I can't attend classes next weekend.

On an unrelated note I'm considering joining artfight this year. I'll see if I'll manage to come up with some characters in June.

I was packing up to get back home and opened a drawer to check whether there was anything I wanted to take with me. She immediately jumped in and tried to hide in it.

When I got back I was checked on my flowers and was worried that some pest had nibbled them. I quickly realised who that pest was. I didn't catch her eating my flowers on camera but I did catch her hugging cress in the kitchen.

She also somehow started to make herself coffee. She did it on accident but I'm still impressed she managed to turn the machine on. I have no idea why she's so obsessed with the coffee machine.

Also some random pictures of her in the house. Somehow she's great at not knocking stuff from high places.

Yeah... it's the last one both because I feel like I did a decent job finding a lot of Aaden's character's for almost 2 months and because I'm slowly getting tired of working on them daily. For now I plan on getting some rest, focus on college (the semester end in a month) and maybe do something that would require me to create my own characters.

Also I'll mention that I wouldn't find nearly as many characters if it wasn't for the fact that Aaden have been good at archiving and sharing his activity on the internet. Even without his wiki.

Also now I guess I can link to the program I've been using to draw these doodles, which was also made by Aaden https://aadenboy.github.io/tecknar/

Although someone was in bad mood due to him staying here. Baja was noticeably upset and didn't really go near the baby. At least she'll have the house for herself soon enough.

Also I have made some cheesecake with nuts for my moms birthday. It turned out well, although I got scared at first that the surface darkened too much.

So I'm stuck with this goblin of a cat for the next few days. :)

I don't remember when was the last time I've spent 8 hours playing boardgames in one day. (I'm counting in the time to set everything up, explain the rules, the brakes including a larger one for pizza and time to pack it all up). It definitely happened before, it's fun but also very tiring.

Yesterday my friend brought Terraria: The Board Game and we had a first play through with five people. Technically it's up to four players but the fifth person was a sort of game master and helped with managing the board and monsters. The board state in the pictures didn't actually happen during the game. We just put all the major figurines after finishing it. Queen bee being able to stand up is great. We had a blast playing it. Almost lost to King Slime, rushed for molten gear and breezed through the rest of the bosses. Pretty accurate to the video game version. Overall I'd say it's good but it might be a bit too much hassle to set it up often.

So the first two pictures are screenshots form Nintendo Switch while I was playing the demo of Tomodachi Life. I just wanted to make a Mii that's a cag. And chose the one I didn't know the design for at that time called Doug.

I made only five drawings this week because on the 4th I've sent the Mii pictures and then I missed a drawing on the 7th, because I wanted to learn a bit of Namian conlang that aaden made.

Adding transcriptions to the images takes a while but it includes some context even to people who can clearly see the images.

I'm feeling well but tired. I might have overdone it a little between college, drawing Aaden's creatures and cleaning home. Anyway I'll be playing more boardgames tomorrow with my friends and maybe I'll plant more carrots.

Here are some cat pictures and a bug I found while walking in the nearby forest this week.

This is what I've sent to the @aadenboy's website this week. https://aadenboy.github.io/inbox/

I was feeling fancy today and I have made pasta with sauce made out of seafood and tomatoes.

The flowers are growing great so far. I'm watering them everyday

Also have some pictures of Ino