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I feel like I'd like a place to share my creative output, and some random thoughts and experiences. So I'm trying tumblr.

Creative output includes drawings, maybe some 3d models, I'll see what more comes to my mind.

As for thoughts, I'll just say I'll be mentioning my health and well-being going through chemotherapy so some topics might be on the heavier side

Not everything will be terrible though. I'll be also posting pictures of my cat :)

Anyway I did fight with Blender for a bit and this is the result. Still work in progress. And I don't have any idea yet what the arms will look like.

I made over three days another wooden flower box and gave it to my mom. we didn't communicate well how tall it's supposed to be and it turned out too tall. We'll see whether I'll shorten it or someone else will do it.

And the rest of the week I've spent on making a temperature logger for my room. First I needed some additional parts so I ordered them form the internet. (No the video game was not vital for the project.)

Then I had to put sensors around my room and cable everything together.

It's a mess but it works. Here's a schematic I made.

I wired it, coded the arduino and spent way too much time squashing bugs in the code. It now records every half hour the temperature out of four sensors (3 thermistors and the DHT), light level, humidity, whether the window is open and saves it all on an SD card.

Maybe if people are interested I'll go into more detail how I made this.

The sketches are slowly coming along. I think I could make them by Wednesday.

Let me think what else I did this week... I finished all the medical checkups I need for my next hospital visit. Got some more clothes. And I did some major cleanup with electronic parts I have in my room.

Here's a wip of what I have managed to do in Godot. It's very little but most of the time I took to learn the absolute basics and then tried some things that didn't work quite as I wanted so I deleted them. The project should speed up since now I know a bit better what I want and how I want to achieve it.

I guess this is a wip for one of the sketches for artfight. I made it in CAD but I'll probably put it later in Blender.

I started working on another wooden flower box. This time it's for my mom. I managed to cut the board into appropriate pieces and painted the first layer of protective varnish.

I tried and failed to repair a clock. One of the cogwheels broke and I don't have a replacement. Also it's in deep enough that I don't want to bother to change it so I gave up on repairing this.

And I bought a few electronic components to make a temperature monitor for my room. The package should arrive by Tuesday.

Considering I also have been to a dentist three times this week and another doctor I'll say that it was pretty busy.

Random pictures of flowers and cats go!

It isn't the worst time for this to happen. I still have like three weeks of July to draw. It sucks that I didn't stuck to the dates but I'm not mad at myself for that.

I think I can finish the refs by the end of this week.

I'll just yap a bit about other things I did.

A heatwave happened and this is how my cat has spent most of it.

Also we took her to a veterinarian, nothing major. She just needed her ears cleaned and she got some anti insect medication just in case.

I made a few pierogi with mushrooms and sauerkraut. Standing around in the kitchen for two hours can be surprisingly tiring.

I went twice to a local club to play some boardgames. I enjoyed my time there a lot. Though after six hours I get tired for the day. Unfortunately they're taking a break for the summer so next time I'll have a chance to go there in September.

The flowers in my room started to bloom

And I managed to make some pictures of bees flying around my backyard.

Tomorrow I'll be busy with getting back home and cleaning. And Saturday I plan to play some boardgames. I think it will take basically the whole day.

At least I haven't neglected basic life maintenance. (hygiene, cleaning, going outside, going shopping)

Just some random pictures I took while i went for a walk.

Dinner I made yesterday.

And pictures of Baja supervising me while I cook and eat.

Had a nice day resting, playing video games, did a few random small tasks and Henry visited. Or I guess Henrica? Turned out she's a gal.

I forgot to mention that yesterday I went to visit my family for a week so I'll have to deal with Baja until Friday. Yes she's still jealous when Henrica visits.

Tomorrow I'm getting to work on the references for artfight. Also I'll finally check out Godot engine.

I never really talked about what I do at college. Mainly because it's kind of a continuation of school and I always felt like sharing what you do in school feels redundant. However college is different enough that this no longer holds. So I'll share some of my experiences... another time.

Right now I want to focus on something else. I have a few things planned I wanted to do before June ends. Mainly artfight. I'll see if I'll manage to make 3 OC refs within 10 days. 9 considering tomorrow I'm taking a lazy day and don't plan to do anything. Just a treat for myself after college.

In July I'll be going through my to-do list for hobbies and similar. During September and October I'll be busy with more hospital stays so I don't expect myself to do anything productive.

Here are a few pictures for reading my rambles. The flowers I've planted are growing nicely, though I should probably clear some more space for the ones growing in the garden.

A random cat from the neighborhood has been hanging out in our backyard recently. Ino, my cat, seems to know them and tolerate them.

Also my cousins visited for a weekend and brought their cat. She's not keen on any affection from me so we mostly ignore each other.

I'll be talking about side effects of chemo now.

So there's a lot here. I'll start with minor things and focus on the ones that occur for me.

My hair fell out. It starts growing back after a month without chemo. It doesn't bother me much and at least I don't have to shave myself.

Sometimes I have an aftertaste in my mouth, usually while I'm taking chemo.

I have more spots and warts on my skin. Although considering I had severe skin problems before chemo it's nothing new to me.

It's difficult to control my weight. I put partial blame on additional medications I have to take. One is a steroid, mainly for anti inflammatory purposes. I'll deal with losing weight once I beat cancer.

On the topic of additional meds. I have been prescribed about ten different pills a day plus an injection, when I first learned that I was in shock but quickly integrated it into my daily routine.

The jabs often leave bruises for a few days.

I think my gums receded a bit. I hope they won't recede to a point it will be a problem.

My eyes take longer to adjust their focus.

The way I feel with my fingers and feet has changed. It's difficult to describe. It feels like I don't get to touch things with the whole finger. I got used to it by now but I hope it goes back to normal a few months after the treatment.

I'm physically weakened and I tire and sweat more easily. My condition drops while taking chemo and slowly goes back to the baseline over the weeks, however even that baseline is pretty low.

After taking chemo I'm slightly intoxicated for a few days. At least I think that's what it is. I haven't really experienced intoxication from other sources.

My stomach gets upset more easily and I have to keep that in mind. Right now it isn't bad but during the first series of chemo when they were giving more toxic medicine I had a few times stomach problems severe enough I could barely eat.

Chemo makes me nauseous, nurses give me some additional medication to combat that and it helps.

Occasionally my chest hurts for half a minute, I have raised that issue with doctors a few times. For now I'm just paying attention to whether it will get worse.

There are also risks I have to pay attention to.

Since my immune system is severely damaged by chemo I should avoid public spaces. I unfortunately found out myself what can happen when your body gets infected while your immune system is compromised.

If chemo stays for too long in one place in my body it can severely damage surrounding tissue so I have to be careful with both bruises and blockages in veins or pretty much anything that could make my blood stop flowing. Although this is mainly a concern while taking chemo and maybe a few days after.

A few things I want to mention. I have three assignments for college I want to do this week and after finishing them I should be done with this semester, so vacation until October.

Since I wanted to rest I didn't push myself to do much more than college so I haven't begun any artfight preparations yet. I'll start later this week, preferably after I'm done with the assignments.

I'm recovering well after last chemo, nothing unexpected happened. This means that I'm back to the baseline of feeling generally ok with a lot of tolerable minor side effects.

Tomorrow I'll have a road trip to be able to get to a new hospital Wednesday morning. For now it should be just a talk with a doctor and they'll make a plan for how I should continue my treatment. It will cut into my time a bit this week but it's necessary.

Here's a few pictures I took while in my garden. Every time I go there I get more at ease. It's tranquil there and since lately it has been raining almost everyday I don't have to water my flowers.

I was quietly planning to play some games on Switch or plan out the next month or maybe even study a bit for tests but didn't really manage to do that. I was too overwhelmed between stressing about the hospital and resting while receiving medications. I still consider this stay a full success because I managed to stay there and get the full dose. It is a struggle.

I had horrible time but it's necessary. The hospital care is good. It's just I can't control my emotions and my body's reaction to getting chemo is intense fear. Maybe I should be more willing to take calming medicine during hospital stays.

I'll be slowly getting myself back together. I have a few college assignments in the next two weeks but for now I need some rest. I think I'll be participating in the Art Fight this year. I don't want to definitely tell yet, because I want to see how I'll be feeling after chemo and I have a college semester to finish this month.

Here have some cat pictures for the road. Also a doodle I made for @aadenboy before I went to the hospital. I don't know whether I should put a trigger warning while writing about chemo.

A bird decided to make use of a birdhouse next to my terrace. To me it looks like a great tit. (Checking for English bird names sure is fun) They're pretty common in Europe. Anyway it means that I get to see it constantly checking on the inside of the birdhouse. I noticed that small birds make different paths while flying. They glide less and seem it seems like they have to flap their wings more often than bigger birds to keep themselves in the air.

The most obvious reason is my health. While I'm going through chemotherapy I don't feel the symptoms of my cancer. Instead I have side effects of chemo, which I'll probably talk about in more detail some other time but they're more preferable than the symptoms. Especially since the side effects of the treatment should go away after finishing it.

Another one is lower stress. While going through the first year of college for the first time over three years ago I was severely overwhelmed by stress. I could barely handle classes and living by myself for the first time. Especially living by myself. To the point that if I were to point at a thing that substantially contributed to my disease it would be the constant stress in college.

There's something slightly deeper though. More reasons. Around the time I was finishing high school I was in a comparable situation to where I am right now. As in I surmounted an important part of life, had a clear goal in front of me and was in a stable environment. However I now feel hmm... Happier isn't the correct term, it's more confident. I feel that over the last four years I've learned better how to live "more properly", or at least in a more sustainable manner.

I suppose it's called growing up but I still think it's interesting how it affected my outlook on the meaning of life.

To delve deeper let's start with the notion of life having no grander purpose. It's a concept I went through during early teens and at the time concluded that means that life has no meaning, therefore it's worthless. A few years have passed and in the meantime my environment changed to a one that could support me better mentally and emotionally. I started to open up a little and began working on myself with a lot of help from psychologist. This slowly led me to change my opinion on the worthlessness of life.

So that was my view when I finished high school. Life has no grander purpose, there is no imposed meaning to it and it's still worth living because you're free to choose what's important to you.

May is coming to an end so I decided to plant the flowers I've been watering for the past one and a half months. They should bloom in a month or so. While I was watering them my cat decided to play with the splashing water from the can.

Also the carrots are growing well. I have to get rid of a few. I planted another row between them but it didn't have enough time show anything yet.

And since it's warm we've got a lot of bugs in the garden. I managed to get a bee on camera.

Well this changes my plans for the week. I've been to the hospital and didn't pass the qualification, so I won't be taking chemo right now. They base it on blood tests. In any case, the doctor changed a few medications and scheduled me for the next Friday. Hopefully by then the tests will allow me to get more chemo.

Anyway suddenly I'll be able to attempt an exam tomorrow. I still have a lot of learning for it but if it goes well then I'll have one less thing to worry about in June. I'll also have to write a few emails that I can't attend classes next weekend.

On an unrelated note I'm considering joining artfight this year. I'll see if I'll manage to come up with some characters in June.

I was packing up to get back home and opened a drawer to check whether there was anything I wanted to take with me. She immediately jumped in and tried to hide in it.

When I got back I was checked on my flowers and was worried that some pest had nibbled them. I quickly realised who that pest was. I didn't catch her eating my flowers on camera but I did catch her hugging cress in the kitchen.

She also somehow started to make herself coffee. She did it on accident but I'm still impressed she managed to turn the machine on. I have no idea why she's so obsessed with the coffee machine.

Also some random pictures of her in the house. Somehow she's great at not knocking stuff from high places.

Yeah... it's the last one both because I feel like I did a decent job finding a lot of Aaden's character's for almost 2 months and because I'm slowly getting tired of working on them daily. For now I plan on getting some rest, focus on college (the semester end in a month) and maybe do something that would require me to create my own characters.

Also I'll mention that I wouldn't find nearly as many characters if it wasn't for the fact that Aaden have been good at archiving and sharing his activity on the internet. Even without his wiki.

Also now I guess I can link to the program I've been using to draw these doodles, which was also made by Aaden https://aadenboy.github.io/tecknar/

Although someone was in bad mood due to him staying here. Baja was noticeably upset and didn't really go near the baby. At least she'll have the house for herself soon enough.

Also I have made some cheesecake with nuts for my moms birthday. It turned out well, although I got scared at first that the surface darkened too much.