GRANNYVIVI

i’ve seen a lot of poc calling out this post already but not many people have given longer responses so i will try to do that

1) my name is what i say my name is. when asked how to pronounce my name, sometimes i just say the anglicized pronunciation and sometimes i tell people “the anglicized pronunciation that i prefer is _____.” i literally never introduce myself with the vietnamese pronunciation of my name.

2) for the well-meaning ally, it might seem disrespectful to use an anglicized pronunciation. please consider that it is also disrespectful to use or ask that i tell you a pronunciation other than the one i’ve already given. to ask for or use another pronunciation is to defy what i am telling you. that’s rude and disrespectful.

3) to do so also shows how entitled you as a white person are. you are not entitled to my name, my language, or my culture. you can have access to those things if i invite you in.

4) “no sweetie you’re safe here” “i’d rather look stupid and learn your real name than have you give me your shortened version … to make your name more ‘convenient’ for me to say” you might be a good person and a good ally, but i’m inclined to think that you’re not. don’t assume that my decision to introduce myself with an anglicized pronunciation is for YOUR benefit. i would NOT introduce myself by a mispronunciation because i’m worried that my real name would be inconvenient for you. it is MY preference for you to use this anglicized pronunciation. please think about why you think that poc are doing these things for your benefit. please think about why you potentially consider poc to be so subservient as to mispronounce our own names SOLELY for YOUR convenience. it has nothing to do with you.

4.5) re: being a good ally to poc. we can’t tell the difference between a white person and a White Person TM, but in my personal experience most are a White Person TM.

5) try to think about this. “where are you from? no, where are you REALLY from? like, where is your FAMILY from?” vs. “how do you say your name? no, how do you REALLY say your name?” etc. it’s the same damn thing. you’re not entitled to anything other than what i say to you. if i tell you i’m from canada then you accept that as the answer. if i tell you my name is an anglicized pronunciation then you accept that as the answer.

“Motherfucker get your mouth open you know you’re mine”