My Grad School Diary

Old lady who has been harassing me wrote to the store to leave a note for me, same harassing stuff she’s said before. Emailed her and told her if she didn’t leave me alone I’d tell the police. My store’s owner is in Europe right now but she said to tell her if the lady contacted the store again. I’ll tell her when she gets back from holiday.

A NYT reporter reached out to my professor for comment on K-pop Demon Hunters, and my professor directed them towards myself and a classmate. The reporter then said they’d only talk to a professor. But it was delightful to be recommended.

I’m really excited to have classes start soon. All the books I bought for the one class that has released the syllabus look so interesting.

Dad coming to visit tonight. He’s having a lot of stress in his life right now so I hope his visit is fun and relaxing for both of us. I’m taking my car into the shop for the first time tomorrow and I’m nervous; I’ve never been apart from my car for this long since I got it, and it’s one of my prized possessions. I don’t want the service to mess him up, but I’m also nervous about how much it will cost. My dad is helping me foot a lot of expenses right now, and I know he’s happy to do it, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m being a burden or I’m indebted to him. I’m trying so hard to be independent and self-sustaining so I can escape criticism, but I also understand that I need help with some of this stuff. It’s a mental state I’ve had since I was little and it’s tough to shake.

My manager at work said that I’m too trusting. I’m sad that I have to be so skeptical around people all the time. I hope I can trust people not to be un-empathetic or just generally unkind going forward, but it gets harder as time goes on.

I’m almost done reading ‘The Restaurant at the End of the Universe’ by Douglas Adams. I love this series.

Campus overwhelmed me. Took the wrong shuttle twice, was an hour late to orientation because I got lost and overwhelmed. Parking lot is expensive and far away. I’m sure it’ll be better tomorrow.

Felt sick when I got home. Probably just decompressing from nerves today. Took a bath, now laying in bed post-anxiety med, David Attenborough documentary on. I should get a new therapist now that I’m in a new city. I’ve been having a lot of issues with food anxiety lately, and it gets worse at night when I’m alone. Should talk to someone about it.

Dad coming to visit in two days. Nervous, but I miss him. Big orientation tomorrow. I’m very tired.