GRACIELA MAE

november, 2016

i caught a glimpse of Pride in London last June and wrote this short piece for Bleached magazine.

A year on, I can still remember the exact moment I found out about the 2015 US State Ruling on Marriage Equality. June 26th, 2015. Funnily enough, also my last day of high school - I can still remember the exact step I was sat by the school’s entrance, desperately scrolling through all of my social media feeds. It was real. The most influential country in the world has declared, Love truly is Love. Sixteen year old me, though much more closeted about her queerness, acquired and beamed such happiness that I cannot translate to this day. Love was overflowing on social media - then the only place I found solitude in showcasing the whole of me. I knew this was one of those momentous days that elders tell you about; days you’ll remember crystal clear for the rest of your life. I knew the ruling wasn’t the end of the community’s fight for equality, but it was a crucial step in the right direction. The feeling of hope and acceptance it brought to young LGBTQ+ folks is invaluable - to those elder members of the community who have been fighting for equality for so long even more.

Pride month 2016, the community mourns the death of the 49 massacred in the unspeakable act that occurred in Orlando. The effects of this absolutely horrific act permeates through the rest of the community - and of the world. 49 people lost their lives in a place where they found safety and belonging. In an instant, that feeling of peace and acceptance that had derived from last year’s celebrations felt somewhat questionable; it is now blatantly undeniable that we live in a world still filled with hate and bigotry.

The stark contrasts between the two events highlights one very important message: although we are making progress in making our society a much more accepting and loving one, the evidence of hate and inequality still remain.

Attending London Pride this year wasn’t always part of the plan. Although I feel that I have made great progress in accepting who I am, I know that my personal journey to acceptance has a long way to go and I’d be lying if I didn’t say that the events in Orlando didn’t scare me of truly living my best self. But just like how the whole community celebrated marriage equality last year, the LGBTQ+ community once again came together. Not only to grieve but also to celebrate the lives of those we lost. Rather than fear, it was the feeling and sense of pride and belonging which was most conspicuous. Surrounded by thousands of strangers, I felt at home.