grace|upon|grace

Not Friends

I am not friends with my thoughts

We are not kind to one another

We do not trust one another

She is abrupt and I am sensitive

There is no love of soul

Only threats and distortions

A booming voice I cannot ignore

But cannot listen to either

What is real?

Have I missed something?

Sorry

Don’t say sorry

Don’t let the outsiders see

They probably have already

Sleep child, the battle has exhausted you

Early awakening, the trumpets of my mind

Playing full volume

It’s safer in this cave...

And if I lie still enough, I might just disappear.

We argue

Do I have to? -

You must -

But... -

We have a loose wheel. How many times can we pause to tighten it, before we notice the missing screw? that screw perforated by nails and hammer, that mandatory piece, broken, for us - yet gone unnoticed;   he holds us together and - it's in his absence that -   we begin to wobble ... Dear God, please don't let us crash.

Although the picture would be sweet

And pining regret runs fast and deep;

You were not my first love... I’m sorry.

With kind blessing from above, however,

You may be my long-time last,

Which is greater by a lengthy far.

A cross-shaped compass gives perspective

A simple, mechanical, inward directive

It shows both my first and my last,

A place reserved right from the start,

For my precious king, my leader

The alpha and the omega

He has cleansed my slimy slate

And it is for Him alone I wait.