One time I swallowed a quarter

For years now, former Archie Sonic writer Ken Penders has been most well known for his legal battles with Archie and Sega in which he acquired the rights to his characters and stories. Among dedicated Sonic fans, he’s also known for his bad tweets and strange art style.

You know what doesn’t come up as often? The actual content of his stories.

Sure, everyone vaguely knows the Archie comics are weird, and it’s easy to find goofy out-of-context panels. But that’s only skimming the surface. What’s up with the bizarre recurring themes in his stories? The obsession with asshole dads? The weird attempts at mature themes? Dingo firing squads executing civilians? A cartoon bee dying from eating an LSD-laced chili dog? Distasteful allusions to the Holocaust? Implications that teenage Sonic characters were having sex off-screen? Why did any of this happen?

Few can answer this, because few want to analyze over 100 issues of mediocre furry soap opera comics with bad politics. I mean, there’s no shortage of good Sonic comics you could read instead. Who would be stupid enough to do that?

Me. My name is Bobby Schroeder, and I’m stupid enough.

Five years ago, I started a blog to archive my journey through Archie Sonic. I jokingly gave it the name “Thanks, Ken Penders.” Now, in 2019, I’ve finally finished reading every issue the man ever wrote for Sonic the Hedgehog and its spinoffs. To close out this first leg of my journey, I’d like to take some time to summarize what the fuck is up with Ken Penders’ bizarre Sonic comics.