thinking about how ryland not only gave rocky and adrian names, but also came up with the word 'astrophage' and named armando and mary too, and it got me thinking further...
ryland grace who names damn near everything
the tomato plants on his balcony? that's to-may-to and to-mah-to. they're twins and he takes their upbringing very seriously
that sourdough starter he was gifted for secret santa one year is doughsephine. she's finicky.
the stray cats that live around his apartment complex, who he makes sure to leave food out for? obviously they all have names and he knows their personalities. francis is the clear leader of the colony, bustopher jones is a lovable diva, and cool beans always has something to say (any time he meows, grace replies like it's a genuine conversation)
his bike is spinderella
his glasses are len (short for lenscrafters)
he has a fox christmas tree ornament that he named ash after the character in fantastic mr fox
and a succulent named eleanor because he can't explain why but it really just looks like an eleanor
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once again there is no theme to these, no order, and no logic, just random hcs I can't stop thinking about. requests are open!
hates unloading the dishwasher. does the dishes manually as much as possible just so he doesnāt have to unload the dishwasher. the sound of plates and silverware scraping together when theyāre being put away makes him want to scream
has a sourdough starter named doughsephine. he claims sheās finicky. really he's just bad at making sourdough.
went to trivia with a fellow teacher once and realized months later that he completely missed that they probably meant it as a date
didn't party excessively in college, but partied hard when he did go out, which was still fairly often. his party trick for a while was ripping three shots then a bong. straight As, deanās list, and a cumulative 4.0, never missed an assignment. no one knows how he did it, including himself.
ryland āitās been a while since I took a pill from a stranger without knowing what it wasā grace definitely went on a few magical mystery tripsā¦ he once journaled for what felt like hours while tripping, and the next day found only a very bad drawing of a fox on the page. below it he had simply written, āme?āĀ
when grover cleveland middle did the D.A.R.E. program, ryland had to excuse himself when the officers started talking about party drugs because he couldnāt maintain a poker faceĀ
now, heās still 420 friendly, but only on weekends because of teaching ā had a minute where he thought he outgrew weed too, but then realized he just doesnāt like being high in public/in large groups anymoreĀ
terrible at board games, especially scrabble. heāll fully just make up words and argue about it. later made it a house rule that if a player could make up a definition for their made-up word and it was good or funny enough, it was allowed
calls his students his kids in all contexts except when he complains about their behavior on a tough day or playfully roasts them, then theyāre āthe youthā
the school asked him if he would teach sex ed one year and he immediately said āhah, passā in that tone
always wanted to do a road trip to see a bunch of national parks, and when the petrova line chatter started getting more serious he started making an itinerary, because who knows how long the parks will still be there? he had a whole plan to rent a car and do it during summer break, but then got recruited for phm :(Ā
re: āwould he fucking say thatā grace being a big dirty talker means so much to me!!! I think sure, sometimes he shocks even himself with how filthy he can be with it when he gets really caught up in the moment, but most of the time heās like listenā¦ I said what I said and Iād say it again š
NO UR SO RIGHT. one of my favorite versions of ryland in my head is, like, "was kind of a party animal in college before life violently humbled him" (mr. "it's been a while since i took a mystery pill from a stranger" over here) - like, i love the idea of him now presenting as very mild-mannered bc the ending of his academic career humbled him/he works at a middle school, but also not having lost his inner freak š
long live ryland āparty legend who mellowed out after shit got realā grace whoās still 420 friendly (on weekends) and who had to excuse himself during the schoolās DARE presentation because he couldnāt keep a poker face when they got to the party drugs slide
writing feral, no strings attached bratty grad school!ryland x reader smut while at the same time outlining a sweet and spicy best friend!ryland x reader piece is giving me whiplash
basically in one hand i have porn without plot, casual but very intense sex feat. grace in (sub)space...
and in the other is an existentially emotional yet still very silly and heartwarming piece about love and friendship and taking chances while there's still time (feat. drunk colt seavers)
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hypothetically how would we feel about grad school!ryland x reader where they hook up every now and then to get their minds off the stress of their workloads, heās insufferable and reader is blunt, and they can handle each othersā attitudes
5k words in and ryland may or may not be crying... dare i say grace in (sub)space
writing this is strengthening my belief that often a brat tamer is but a brat in a different font btw :))))
sneak peek below the cut. 18+ only, MDNI. this excerpt contains finger sucking & a light slap. not into that? don't read!
Ryland paused as he debated whether to say the next two words on the tip of his tongue. When he did, it was a soft and breathless plea:Ā
āUse me.ā
You looked at him closely, gauging how serious he was. His expression was one of enthusiasm and excitement that didn't waver when you held his gaze. So you grabbed his jaw in your dominant hand and tilted his face to one side, then the other. He let you. You kept your eyes locked on his as you thumbed his lower lip, and he let you.Ā
āLike I said,ā you hummed as you pushed your thumb deep into his mouth, āPathetic.āĀ
You felt a rush of arousal in your lower belly as Ryland swirled his tongue around your thumb without breaking eye contact. You indulged him for just a moment before you removed your thumb with a wet pop and dragged it along his lower lip again. When you let his lip spring back into place, it was much redder and wetter than before. And then he fucking smirked.
āYeah? What are you going to do about it?ā
You straddled him again.
āWhatever I want,ā you whispered, then barely let go of Rylandās jaw to give him a close-range, quick slap.
hypothetically how would we feel about grad school!ryland x reader where they hook up every now and then to get their minds off the stress of their workloads, heās insufferable and reader is blunt, and they can handle each othersā attitudes
working on a best friend!ryland x reader wip and I just wrote some diabolically flirty banter thatās making me giggle and kick my feet!!!!!! I love these two!!!
now I just need to write an actual plot around it, rip š„²
After a moment, Ryland took another quick hit from the joint like he was psyching himself up for something and asked,
āSorry, pause. Is this a bit?ā
āA bit of what?ā
āDonāt be a dick,ā he laughed. āYouā¦ implying you want to, you know. āFā me.ā He still censored himself, even now. Dick was actually the closest youād heard him come to cursing since he started teaching, except for one time when he violently stubbed his toe while pacing back and forth on the phone with you.
āOh, did I?ā you asked innocently.
āThatās what Iām asking! Is it a bit? I canāt tell with you sometimes,ā he admitted, voice light with equal parts amusement and firmness. You looked him up and down with a smirk.
working on a best friend!ryland x reader wip and I just wrote some diabolically flirty banter thatās making me giggle and kick my feet!!!!!! I love these two!!!
now I just need to write an actual plot around it, rip š„²
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if ryland grace had a nickel for every time his glasses broke during sex, heād have two nickels, which isnāt a lot, but itās weird that it happened twice, right?
so now the glasses actually do not stay on, not since a lens nearly broke into his eye (donāt ask him how), and definitely not on a teacherās salary
hypothetically how would we feel about grad school!ryland x reader where they hook up every now and then to get their minds off the stress of their workloads, heās insufferable and reader is blunt, and they can handle each othersā attitudes
thinking about teacher!ryland x coworker!reader, and he's finding it harder and harder to deny he has a big ol' crush on you...
some sickeningly fluffy (and one spicy) headcanons simply because i can :)
requests open for ryland grace headcanons, blurbs, and/or drabbles! fluff, smut, au, canon compliant, canon divergent welcome!
coworker ryland grace who doesnāt get major crushes often, but when he does, theyāre debilitating and he forgets how to function
coworker ryland grace who realizes with excitement and also a bit of worry that the crush he has on you is not just a work crush, it's an actual, tangible thing. and he realizes that he doesn't just want to half-smile at you when you pass each others' classrooms, and he doesn't want to only text you to coordinate what time you both need to get to the school to chaperone the dance. he wants to take you out on dates and learn your favorite things and all your quirks, and fudge, he really wants to kiss you, too
coworker ryland grace who has no problem talking to you about teacher things. you need to borrow his three-hole punch? you got it. you need someone to vent to about parent-teacher conferences? he's there to listen and swap some horror stories of his own. but when you ask him 'what do you like to do outside of work?' or 'would you ever want to grab a drink after school one day?' he stumbles over every word. and it's not that he misses the hint, because he's not an idiot and he is starting to sense that maybe his crush isn't totally one-sided, but something about you makes it so that he simply cannot be cool to save his life
coworker ryland grace who can recite the entire periodic table from memory and do complex math in his head, but when he passes you in the hallway and tries to compliment your outfit, his brain short circuits and he just nods in your general direction. the compliment flies right out of his brain when you smile at him, but his mouth has already decided to say something and he realizes that it's too late to stop it, and oh dear god, he's about to find out right along with you whatever it is that he's about to say
the moment happens so fast and he ends up panicking and just pointing at your legs and saying āpants," through an awkward laugh, then keeps walking
he immediately wishes the ground would swallow him whole, or at the very least that someone would pull the fire alarm so he has a reasonable excuse to sprint away
but you think it's incredibly endearing, if a bit baffling
you see ryland in the teachers' lounge later that day and you simply gesture towards him and say āshirtā and heās equally as embarrassed as he is elatedĀ because he's thinking 'okay, she's got jokes!!! wish my failed attempt at flirting wasn't the punchline, but I'll take it!!'
coworker ryland grace who finally asks you out a couple of weeks later, and the date goes so well that you both wonder what took you so long
and soon enough, nodding and simply pointing out a piece of each othersā outfits becomes your guys' favorite bit throughout your relationshipĀ Ā
"tie," you point at his loosened tie and fix it for him halfway through the school day. you stopped in just to say hey while his class was at lunch and noticed his tie was a little crooked, and yeah, he could easily fix it himself, but he loves how close you have to stand to do it for him. one of his students happens to pass by the open classroom door right when you sneak a quick kiss, and you and ryland are both so confused as to where the sudden dating rumors came from
"sweater," he says, absolutely beaming because you're staying over at his place for the first time, and you asked to borrow some clothes to wear as pajamas, and that lumpy fox cardigan looks ten times better on you than it ever has on him, and his heart is fluttering with the relationship of it all when you curl up against him on the couch and start a movie with your head on his chest
"shoes," you say plainly as you're both lacing up bowling shoes, ready to playfully trash talk each other and compete for bragging rights (and to determine who buys ice cream after)
"lingerie," ryland says in a low, breathless voice when you step out of your dress and reveal the new set you just got. he takes a full five minutes just to admire how it looks on you from every angle before taking it off ever so carefully because he'll be damned if he rips it even a little and you can't wear it again. even (and honestly? especially) when there's no clothing on you at all, he notices every single thing about your body... every soft inch of your skin, everything that makes you moan, makes you arch, makes your hands fly to his hair and hold his head right where it is...
a year into dating, youāre splitting a bottle of wine for your anniversary (he's planned a very fun weekend getaway at the end of the week, but it's a surprise)
you're tipsy in his living room and, well, it doesnāt matter why, but you end up doing a one-woman performance of the confrontation from les mis, powered by red wine and the kind of natural comfort that you can only feel with someone who fully sees and accepts all the weird and wonderful sides to you
which ryland does
and when youāre done, ryland says (with the perfect balance of love, adoration, and playful roasting), āI canāt believe I used to be nervous to talk to youā
i'm giddy over these dorks, wow i might just have to do a part 2 if there's interest!!!
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was anybody going to tell me that grace's quilt is covered in good luck symbols from around the world as a way to show that the entire world was wishing him luck on the mission
no theme to these, no order, and no logic, just random hcs I can't stop thinking about. requests are open for more!
has lost his grover cleveland middle school ID badge twice, and next time he has to pay for a new one which is why he keeps it around his neck all day now, even on the way to and from school
grows tomatoes on his balcony and is very meticulous about caring for them. names the two plants he has 'to-may-to' and 'tom-ah-to.'
actually did have a dog, as a kid, and she was his soul dog. they got nine beautiful years together. it wasn't enough.
overly competitive at bar trivia and will trash talk his opponents loud enough for them to hear after he's had a couple beers. even reused 'waste of carbon' once and one of the players on the other team thought it was so creative that they gave him their number
ryland 'it's been a while since i've taken a pill from a stranger without knowing what it was' grace was a bit of a menace in college during his party days ā hangxiety was his middle name for a little while, especially after parties with colt's frat
big omelet guy. keeps a list of the best omelets he's had and where he had them. tried to make the one from the bear at home and failed miserably
almost cursed in the classroom once when a fire drill went off, even though he'd gotten the staff-wide memo saying it would happen during fifth period. caught himself just in time and turned 'shit' into 'shi...iiiiiiirley temple' but it was a very close call
can't be bothered to turn his socks right side out when folding laundry, then gets annoyed at his past self when he goes to put them on and they're inside out. never changes his ways and the cycle repeats
has an idea for a fox tattoo that he keeps saying he's going to get but never does
thinks out loud a lot, when he's cleaning his apartment he'll narrate what he's doing, talk to himself, comment on students' papers out loud as he grades them, makes himself laugh with his own jokes, randomly sings
has seven (7) pairs of converse in varying states of wear
does a science bee at the end of every school year, and the students on the winning team get to pick out their very own science pun t shirts from a bin of them he keeps in the classroom as prizesā decades later after heās saved earth, every student who ever won a shirt donated them to the air & space museum for their phm exhibit
stood with other colleagues behind the podium for one (1) project hail mary press conference, and it prompted the internet to try and figure out who the hot scientist in the back was
chronically offline and the only social media he has is linkedin, but vaguely knows internet references because of his students, and loves to ragebait them by purposely misusing internet slang
puts bonus questions on his tests that have nothing to do with science, like 'what is dr. grace's favorite movie?'
it's jurassic park btw
can't cook, but has a couple of mean cocktail recipes up his sleeve.
wants to host parties one day because he loves the idea of filling his home with people he loves, he just doesn't know many people that well
