11:11 t h o u g h t s

I will admire you exactly as much, no more or less, as you admire me. I will love you in the strictest moderation.

Fierce and dangerous. He disguised his love with lust. His heart was not as cold as it seemed, nor as he claimed. He walked with a swagger. His eyes were sad and colorless, despite the green hues his girlfriend fell in love with. He never felt content with himself, no matter how many people admired his beauty. He was a black canvas in a museum often misunderstood and looked over. He was harsh and cold like a winter night, but craved a summer’s love. One person’s love was never enough, he craved everyone’s attention, but never dared to admit it. We were never meant to be, me and him, but we seemed to ignore our fate. My world was always crashing down as his was coming together. We both carried jealousy and selfishness in our hearts. We thought we were invincible, we thought we were everything. But, we were not anything. It was only him and I, never a we. I never realized the love he needed until I lost her. I lost him, and I lost him, but never could I lose him. Until I met her. Soft and delicate. She was never afraid to show the world her heart. Her heart was made of gold, and everyone knew it, even if her humility said otherwise. She walked with grace. Her eyes were a variety of beautiful blues, the kind that girls like me fall in love with. She never felt content with herself, no matter how many people admired her beauty. She was a Van Gogh painting in a museum, often admired and appreciated. She was fragile and beautiful like a glass rose, but craved to be made of stone. Her own love never seemed to be enough, she craved the attention of a lover, but never dared to admit it. She knew she wasn’t meant to be on her own, but seemed to ignore her fate. Our worlds were both crashing down as we were both coming together. We both carried compassion and ambition in our hearts. We each thought we were alone, we figured having ourselves was enough. But we were not alone anymore. It was always a we, never a me and her. I never realized the love I deserved until I found her. I found her, and found her, but never can I lose her.

I would love to see your eyes First thing in the morning And just before I close my eyes Hold me tighter in the purple midnight I’ll kiss your neck when I wake at 1 Just to remind you that I’m here And I don’t plan on leaving any time soon

He came out of nowhere and brightened not only her day, but her life. He has the capability to make her happy beyond words and she has the power to give him more love than he ever thought he deserved.

There was a boy who  Had eyes that embodied  adventure.  God, he was a beautiful soul.  But the darkness had touched him so deep, He had started writing his last breath out in stars.  The blood in his bones turning to poison, The air in his lungs turning to gasoline. His addiction to cigarettes wasn’t going to slowly kill him; It was going to set his lungs on fire.  There was a boy who  Had lips that felt like life. God, I wish I had known it was death I was tasting.

You really fucked me up, you know that? I constantly type messages and go to press send, and then remember you don’t actually care. I constantly looked down your street everytime I drive by in case I see the tiniest bit of you, even though I know you wouldn’t do the same. I constantly look at photos of us and remind myself of memories, and I know that you wouldn’t dare to even think of them. I constantly remember every detail about you from your blue eyes to your horrible laugh, and you don’t even give me a second thought. That’s the difference between me and you, that was always the difference between me and you. I treasured every possible moment I could because I thought it was forever, you didn’t because you thought of me as an object that would pass time.

You aren’t thinking about me, you never are. So I shouldn’t be missing you this much. There is this emptiness clawing from the inside of my chest. No matter how hard I try I can’t ignore it. I can’t ignore you. I say I wish it would stop. In reality, I just wish you would feel the same.

Your first love isn’t the first person you give your heart to, it’s the first person to break it

I like beginnings because they’re so full of promise. The first page of a book, the first day of a job, the first time you buy yourself flowers, the first date with a new man, the first touch, the first kiss, the first kick of a good liquor, the first moment you hold your own baby. I like beginnings because I know there’s always more to come.