To Get Better

Im scared I’m faking my ED without knowing it. What if I’m just making it up. Maybe I’m just forcing it.

Do you beat yourself up for not being able to restrict "as well" as you used to? Or because in the past you were able to force yourself to work out obsessively and now you just can't? Or because you used to be the best liar ever and now you suck at it? Do you consider yourself a failure because right now you're struggling with intrusive thoughts but cannot bring yourself to perform the disordered behaviors that used to do the trick to keep your mind at some sort of ease? Do you sometimes feel like you were faking your ED all along because you don't look nor consistently act like you do struggle with an ED anymore? Do you consider yourself too big, too lazy, too indulgent, too weak to have an ED? Do you feel like you don't get to feel scared of food or gaining weight or losing control now that everyone assumes you're "fixed" and "healthy"?

When you resist buying trigger food all day just to get home and binge anyway with food you don't even really like

When one of your illnesses has been quiet for a while then it suddenly pops back up again

“Skipping breakfast and lunch is easy. The rest of the day is like hell.”