it's like i'm sleepwalking

many a time he wondered if the heavy feeling he got after sunday service was reason enough for him to question if he was still worthy for his religion. and many a time he found himself questioning if he could even leave this life he lead after he exacted retribution on his father. after that, what else? was a constant thought in his head. in any case, he’d just finished sunday service and was just about to go get lunch when he found himself literally knocked on the ground and a thud was heard. “ow—!” he had groaned in pain before looking at the person who knocked into him. “i hope you’re fine because i think my spine isn’t.”

minsu wasn’t really sure what he was actually doing here or why he had to be awake right now, but well.. here he was. awake. grumpy-- as always. and he just wanted to sleep again. probably why minsu was making his way back slowly to the hotel so he could just sleep instead. he wasn’t actually sure what time he’d slept as well, or what time it even was right now but he couldn’t even be bothered figuring that out.. which would be easy, if minsu actually cared enough. still, too lost in his thoughts and half stomping his way along, the ivory hand male didn’t even notice anyone else in front of him until he felt the contact and heard everything that followed. “sorry man, my bad.” he still sounded grouchy a little anyway, but he help out his hand to help the guy up. “spine might be bruised, but you’ll survive.”

so i’m gonna do this while i’m here and try my replies properly later, but this is lux’s revamp-- and tbh i don’t think any of you know, but lux was a revamp of a chara i already had so i’ve fused them together and kept lux’s background and then the aspects of my old character i wanted back were his dissociative identity disorder, which was a major thing for him. so under the cut then i’ll explain the main things there to do with that and how it applies to his background-- but please, please read this page either way, because it is really important to his character and understand him.

also, please like this post if you would like to plot with him, because i am kind of desperate for plots on him since i’d need to rework all his existing plots anyway.

{ @gplux }

kang areum thought herself lucky to be in the gang of the ivory hand. that she was put in a gang of all females, staying with each other through thick and thin and finding the friendship that she had so desperately wished to have when she was in high school. and she may not spend as much time in central than most, areum never failed to catch up on some of her closest friends in there.

and it was why she knew about what happened with lux. it was concerning when she heard about lux walking in front of a moving bus and got himself hit on purpose, as if to take away his own life because of some dumbass. god, she didn’t like men at all. and when she heard that lux was in her area, she had left her post to her most trusted—just for a little while—so she could go meet her friend. even so, areum was worried that in the time that she took to walk to where lux was would have the worst case scenario happening and it was her conscience and her head on the line. it was when she turned the corner and saw her friend did she finally breathe a sigh of relief. “lux!”

lux wasn’t fully allowed to wander on his own yet, mostly because he was still wasn’t very stable both probably in the mental sense and physical sense given that he was still on crutches for his leg, and his chest was still aching sometimes when he was moving too much. but with the trust of eunha and the other members, he’d at least been taken along to the area that he knew areum was in today, wanting to visit her given that he hadn’t really gotten to since the whole incident happened anyway. so when he saw her, lux smiled a little, glad at least that someone had told her he was there anyway otherwise he had a feeling he’d be trying to walk even further than he wanted to. but he offered her a smile when his name was called. "noona,” he shifted, making his way slowly to meet her half way.

It wasn’t like she hated them together; but she was antsy. She didn’t want Lux to end up like her, having his heart broken time and time again by users, people who wanted her either for information, her body, or her money. She didn’t want him to feel out  of place, like those were the only good things about him and it was for those reasons that she was so protective over him. It worried her, that his gang had the audacity to do this to them and yet he went on smiling with Lux like nothing had ever happened.   He had to know they were being framed, so was was he acting like what happened didn’t happened. but she also saw something in the way the two looked at each other, how he manged to even bow to her as he left– That had Eunha’s usual self pausing, looking between the two. As he leans into her touch, she sighs lightly  shaking her head, “I’m just glad you’re here and alive.”

Eunha’s eyes flicker in between the two, arms folded across her chest as she gives the taller male a stern and harsh look. Whether they were dating or not, wasn’t her biggest issue. But she had a lot of question she now had to fish for answers for. Rubied color lips part as the elder boy gives the other a soft ‘okay’ and 'bye’ before brushing past her. If Eunha didn’t know any better, she probably would’ve shouldered him at this point. She wonders if Lux had heard about the Ivory hand situation; and how he would feel about it knowing his.. boyfriend(?)’s gang had been apart of it. Once they’re alone together, she sits on the side of his bed, running her fingers through his hair before lightly rubbing his back, “Lux.. Why didn’t you call me? You know I’m always here for you.” The twenty four year old wasn’t angry at him for hsi actions,  but she was disappointed in him.  She knew that things got hard  and that.. it may seem to be the only solution, but she didn’t understand the rationality behind it. Even if he was upset, she didn’t think he was the type to disappear without saying something.

hospital was a place sera often tried to avoid, in which she believed most would as well, but she had her own reason. it reminded sera of her father. it wasn’t like she was trying to forget her family ( not in the million years ) but she tended to avoid things that would remind her of them. she found it confusing, to have felt like this. she wished to be found yet she ran when they came for her, and now she didn’t even know what she really wanted. “i’m sure you will. just listen to the doctor and you’ll be fine in no time,” she reassured, another smile appeared on her lips. her eyes stared back at lux upon hearing his question. “i’ve been wondering about the same thing too. i guess it got something to do with them being born cute? so they kinda look cute in everything,” she mused, letting out a chuckle afterwards. “well, it can be fun.” she paused to look at him. “if you’re a masochist. but who in the world would enjoy being in pain anyways? whoever likes it must be crazy,” she shook her head gently at the thought. 

he smiled softly, nodding because he definitely planned on doing what the doctors told him, and following the recovery plan they had because he kind of wanted to get out of here as soon as he could. he wanted things to go back to normal, his life to go back to normal-- “mhm.. the recovery process is apparently easy, but they just want to keep me in to watch me mostly. they only moved me to the psych ward a couple days ago anyway.” it was kind of scary being under watch, but he could at least understand where they were coming from. “mm.. maybe, but i still think that’s weird. doesn’t everyone go through phases of not looking cute?” lux didn’t really think he was cute or anything special anyway, but he supposed everyone had different views on themselves. “ah, yea-- i can’t understand that.. s-some of my clients are though.”

If she could have came any faster, she probably would have. It seemed that everything in her life had  somehow fallen into shambles and she had no idea where exactly to start patching things up first; But Lux was always her priority. So she pushed her break up and familial issues aside and threw on her smallest pairs of heels and the most casual outfit she owned, and walked out of her apartment bare faced and hair thrown up in a messy bun. For those who knew Eunha, leaving the house without  at least a BB cream, lip tint and eyeliner were things she never did. But here she was, storming through the hospital like she damn near owned it. The woman at the counter was getting on her nerves, and if it wasn’t for the fact that it was a hospital and it was crawling with security, she probably would’ve shot the woman in the face by now. After her insisting that visiting hours were almost up and  that she’d have to wait until tomorrow and Eunha telling her that wasn’t going to happen, she finally snatched the room number an began her descent down the hall way sliding open the door to see– definitely not what she was expecting.”Knock it off, I’m here. Leave.” She said to the other, eyes narrowing down to small slits as the other jumped away from Lux. “Come on, visiting hours are almost over and I want to talk to him.”

lux was well.. probably too focused on the kiss, how he felt and how different everything suddenly was that he didn’t even hear the door opening. not until her voice reached him, making both him and kwang jump apparently, and lux’s eyes widening a little, almost panicked anyway. but it was just the fact that he hadn’t expected anyone to suddenly enter. seeing eunha though, he kind of wanted to smile at the fact she was there now.. but he also felt a little worried she’d be mad at him for all of this.. so instead lux was quiet as he moved the oxygen mask back over his face. honestly, he didn’t really want kwang to have to levae now that she was here, but he did know that he could just call him later considering that he’d be leaving for a few days-- and lux did want to see eunha now.. apologise for apparently doing this. so when she told him to leave, the younger looked up at him, quietly, “i’ll.. i’ll talk to you later,” his voice was muffled again by the mask, but he offered a small smile before his innocent, apologetic eyes were back on the female, almost scared of meeting her eyes.