Gothicwoods

“Hello yes the boys you keep forcing me to be around keep attacking me on sight and the girls I find myself relating to and drifting towards have already learned that ‘boys’ are dangerous, which I don’t disagree with, but as a result they’re keeping their distance out of fear that I’m the exact sort of predator I’m trying to find refuge from, may I have some basic human kindness and connection, please?”

I literally cannot stress enough the constant societal forces that work 24/7 to make even an unrealized trans girl think that her existence is fundamentally wrong and she deserves to be punished for it

This applies doubly, x10 tbh, to transfemme doms. You NEED to be nice to her, you NEED to let her know she is doing a good job. That transfemme dom might have a lot of issues with her self worth, she may have been used up and left a discarded husk so many times.

Something that happens a lot in non-binary spaces is that a new member of the community will ask a tone-deaf transphobic question like "Hi, AFAB here, I was wondering if any other AFAB NBs had advice about swimsuits? My AFAB chest means I can't wear swimsuits for AMABs," and an established community member will have to gently explain that not only are we are a community of people who often change their bodies to a degree that certificated sex becomes a useless way to describe anatomy, but we are also a community of people who often join the community explicitly to get away from our birth sex assignment, and so referring to people that way can be really offensive.

When I first came out as NB, I was harshly and rightfully called out for some of the transphobic shit I said. It was a deeply painful experience, and I still feel the sting of shame from some of those comments over 10 years later. It was also incredibly necessary and I credit that moment to a lot of my growth in the long term, and I wouldn't be half the woman I am today without that formative experience. It helped push me to learn more, listen better, and reflect on my words and actions so I could treat others with dignity.