Hi! Love your the secrets out fic! Thanks so much for writing it! Are we plowed to asked for more scenarios regarding isekei reader and the bat fam?
Scenarios(you pick, or none).
1. The boys find out reader actually has a few of the dc comics under her bed that somehow managed to cross over to Gotham with her after her shopping trip to the craft store and the comic book store to get the new releases of absolute Batman comics. Chaos ensues as the boys want to read them and finds out about baby suit joker(Jason has nightmares for a week). (Maybe Bruce finds the âBatman who laughsâ comic at the bottom of the bag and reads it and is now horrified.)
2. Damian finds out he is readers most favorite Robin despite the other boys protests on why they should be her favorite Robin,(she even makes the âif Damian dies Iâm killing everyone in this room and then myselfâ joke), (Reason? Heâs the only Robin that carries a sword and thatâs cool in her book.) also Jason finds out the reason he got killed by the joker was because 5k kids in the 80s called a phone number poll that dc comics set up to vote weather Robin should die or live in the next release and that him dying won out by 72 votes.
3. Tim finds out that there was a 3 season animated series about the original teen titans in readers universe and Tim is devastated that he wonât ever get to watch that show. (Dick finds out that reader thought he was the âleast coolâ member of the teen titans when the showed aired.)
4. Bruce finds out from a slip of the tongue by reader that Damian mighttttt, actually have an older sibling somewhere after Talia told Bruce that the baby was miscarried and instead she put the baby up for adoption. (But reader insists that the child probably doesnât exist cause the story was retconned after Damian was created.)
5. Reader accidentally solved a mystery Tim and Bruce were puzzled over for a month after she just takes one look at it and mentions âoh no, that guy didnât kill them, it was actually the other guy. Youâre being led astray. Wait, was it? No I think- no, no, it was! âŚ..or maybe not.â And Tim restrains himself from wanting to strangle reader on weather the âguyâ they been tracking down for 2 weeks is the true murderer or not.
6. Reader actually gets kidnapped by the joker and held hostage, reader stumps joker when she says his government name and refuses to elaborate why or how she knows so much about him. Joker is understandably, pretty creeped out by reader and doesnât find the whole hostage thing funny anymore and just lets reader go, and reader just walks out the building the bat fam was about to storm in to rescue her.
ok so I changed it up a bit to the point where they don't know yet so it can be more funny
navigation , dc navigation
It has been a while since you had taken this knew identity. Living a life you have read about in the past, being a part of it. The file you had made for yourself seemed airtight, posing as a genius and pretending to be one, when in reality you just had too much prior knowledge of everything. The hardest part was to be calm and not give away too much information, no matter how much you wanted to help them, and when you did they were losing their minds. Just like this case that has been bugging them for sometime now.
"It was definitely Marchetti," Tim said, staring at the evidence board with the intensity of someone who'd been awake for thirty-six hours straight. Which he had been. "The timeline matches, the motive is thereâ"
"Except Marchetti was in Coast City when the murder happened," you said from where you were perched on the edge of the Batcave's main console, flipping through the case file. "His alibi is airtight."
"Not this one. He was on live television. I checked." You looked up. "Oh, and that guy you've been tracking for two weeks? Not the murderer."
The entire Cave went silent.
"What," Bruce said slowly, "did you just say?"
"The guy you're tracking isn't the killer. It was actually the other guyâSalvatore's brother. The one you ruled out because he was supposedly in prison? Yeah, he got released six months ago on a technicality but it wasn't widely reported. He killed Marchetti's accountant as revenge for testifying against him, made it look like a mob hit to throw you off." You paused. "Wait, was it Salvatore's brother? No, I thinkâno, no, it was! ...Or maybe not."
Tim made a strangled sound. "We've been working this case for TWO WEEKSâ"
"Yeah, I know. I've been watching." You turned a page. "You were on the right track initially, but then you got distracted by the Marchetti connection and missed the prison release records. Easy mistake."
"Easy mistake," Tim repeated faintly.
"How do you know about the prison release?" Bruce asked, his Batman voice in full effect.
"I checked? It's public record. Well, technically it's sealed record, but public enough if you know where to look." You tilted your head. "You guys were so focused on the complicated conspiracy angle that you missed the simple revenge plot. Classic misdirection."
Dick was staring at you like you'd grown a second head. "You solved in five minutes what we've been working on for two weeks?"
"Well, I've been thinking about it for like three days. I just looked at the file today to confirm." You frowned down at the papers. "Although now I'm second-guessing myself. Was it the brother or the cousin? They both had motive..."
"I'm going to have an aneurysm," Tim said.
Jason, who'd been watching from the corner with poorly concealed amusement, started laughing. "Oh man, Timmy got out-detected by the newbie."
"She's not a detective, she's aâ" Tim stopped. "What are you, exactly?"
You shrugged. "Bored, mostly. And observant. You guys talk about your cases a lot, and I pay attention."
"You solved a two-week investigation by passively listening to us talk?" Bruce's eye was twitching slightly.
"No, it'sâ" Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose. "We need to have a conversation about information security."
"But first," Dick said, grinning now, "we need to confirm if it was the brother or the cousin."
"Brother," you decided. "Definitely the brother. The cousin was in Europe. I think. Actually, now I'm not sure again..."
"ORACLE," Tim barked into his comm. "I need you to check prison release records for anyone connected to the Salvatore family in the last yearâ"
"Already on it," Barbara's voice came back, amused. "And she's right. Salvatore's brother, Marco, was released six months ago. Charges dropped on a technicality. He matches the physical description of the suspect in the Marchetti accountant murder."
The silence in the Batcave was deafening.
"Huh," you said. "So it was the brother. Cool."
Tim slowly turned to look at you. "You just... you casually solved a murder investigation that three of the world's greatest detectives have been working on for two weeks."
"When you put it that way, it sounds impressive. But really, you guys did all the hard work. I just noticed the thing you missed because you were too close to it." You hopped off the console. "Anyway, I'm gonna go make a sandwich. Anyone want one?"
"I want answers," Tim said. "How did youâwhat's your processâdo you have some kind of meta ability we don't know aboutâ"
"I just looked at what you were looking at and thought about it differently?" You were already heading toward the stairs. "You were looking for complicated. I looked for simple. Sometimes the obvious answer is the right one."
After you left, the four of them just stood there.
"So," Jason said finally, "we keeping her or what?"
"She's not a stray cat, Jason," Bruce said.
"Could've fooled me. She showed up, made herself at home, and is now better at our job than we are."
"She's not betterâ" Tim stopped. "Okay, in this specific instance, she was better. But that doesn't meanâ"
"She solved in three days what you couldn't solve in two weeks."
"Was it though?" Dick was grinning. "Because I'm starting to think we might have accidentally acquired a genius."
"She's not a genius, she's justâ" Bruce paused. "Actually, Barbara, pull up her file."
"Already did," Barbara said. "You're gonna love this. Genius-level IQ, photographic memory, pattern recognition off the charts. She was flagged by three separate universities for early admission before she was even sixteen."
"Then why is she here instead of at university?" Bruce asked.
"Because she turned them all down. Said higher education was 'boring' and she'd 'rather learn by doing.'" Barbara paused. "She's been auditing your case files for entertainment, apparently."
"Our case files are classifiedâ"
"Yeah, she hacked those about two weeks after moving in. I've been monitoring. She doesn't distribute or misuse the information, just reads them like novels."
"And you didn't think to MENTION THIS?" Tim's voice had gone up an octave.
"I figured you'd notice eventually," Barbara said, completely unrepentant. "Besides, it's been hilarious watching her casually drop information that you all missed."
Jason was still laughing. "Oh man, this is the best thing that's happened all month."
"This is a security nightmare," Bruce said.
"This is an opportunity," Dick corrected. "She's brilliant, she's already here, and she clearly has good instincts. We should train her properly."
"Bruce, she just solved a case that stumped Tim, you, and Oracle. In three days. While barely trying." Dick crossed his arms. "That's not luck. That's talent."
"That's dangerous," Bruce countered. "She's seventeenâ"
"I was younger than that when you took me in," Jason pointed out.
"And I," Damian said, appearing from wherever he'd been lurking. "Though I maintain I needed no training, as I was already perfect."
"Not helping, Demon Spawn," Tim muttered.
Bruce looked at all of them, then up at the Cave ceiling like he was asking for divine intervention. "One. One calm child. That's all I asked for."
"Sorry, B," Dick said, not sounding sorry at all. "You keep adopting chaos gremlins. This one just happens to be a chaos gremlin with detective skills."
"I'm not adoptingâshe's just staying here temporarilyâ"
"Sure," Jason said. "Temporarily. Like all of us."
The Joker situation happened three weeks later.
You were on your way back from the libraryâbecause despite having access to the Batcave's extensive files, you still liked physical booksâwhen a van pulled up.
"Oh, come on," you said as three goons jumped out. "Really? The grab-and-go in broad daylight? That's so derivative."
"Shut up and get in the van," one of them growled.
They grabbed you anyway, which was rude, and threw you in the van. You considered fighting back, but honestly, you were kind of curious where this was going.
The warehouse they took you to was exactly as clichĂŠ as you'd expected. Lots of shadows, dramatic lighting, and thereâsitting in a chair like he was holding courtâwas the Joker.
"Well, well, well," he said, grinning that horrible grin. "The Wayne brat. Not the one I usually play with, but you'll do."
"I'm not actually a Wayne," you said. "Common mistake."
"You live in Wayne Manor. Close enough." He leaned forward. "Do you know what I'm going to do to you?"
"Monologue, probably. Maybe some light torture. Eventually use me as bait to draw out Batman." You looked around the warehouse. "This is the old Amusement Mile location, right? Hasn't this been condemned?"
Joker's smile faltered slightly. "You're not scared."
"I'm a little scared. Mostly annoyed." You studied him. "You know, you're shorter than I expected. The news makes you seem taller."
"Also, your henchmen are terrible at kidnapping. One of them left a fingerprint on the van door. Very sloppy."
Joker stood up, and okay, maybe you should have been more scared because he pulled out a knife and that was definitely concerning.
"Let's try this again," he said, voice dropping to that dangerous whisper he was known for. "I'm going to hurt you. And you're going to scream. And Batman is going to come running. And then we'll have some real fun."
"Okay, but before you do that, can I ask you something?"
"Is your real name Jack Napier or is that just what the media says? Because I've seen conflicting reports."
Joker stared at you. "How do you know that name?"
"Public records. Well, semi-public. You were arrested in 1987 under that name, before the whole acid bath situation. It's all in the Gotham PD archives if you know where to look." You paused. "Oh, also, your current location is being broadcast on the dark web. Did you know that? Someone in your organization is selling you out."
"Yeah, there's a tracker on your shoe. Probably from that new guyâwhat's his name, Dennis? He's actually an undercover GCPD officer. Did you not vet him before hiring?"
Joker looked at his shoe, then back at you, then at his henchmen. "Dennis?"
Dennis, who had been standing in the corner, went pale. "Boss, I can explainâ"
"This is awkward," you observed.
What happened next was chaotic. Dennis ran. Two of the other henchmen chased him. Joker was yelling. Someone pulled a gun.
You took the opportunity to slip your restraints, they'd tied them loose, amateurs really, and move toward the exit.
"Where do you think YOU'RE going?" Joker grabbed your arm.
And here's where you made a decision that was either very smart or very stupid.
"Jack Napier," you said clearly. "Also known as the Joker. Born in 1962, grew up in Gotham's East End. Your mother's name was Maureen. You had a younger brother who died when you were twelve. You worked as a chemical engineer before the accident. You have a documented phobia of bats stemming from a childhood incident at Robinson Park."
Joker's grip loosened. He was staring at you with something that wasn't quite anger, wasn't quite fear, but was definitely unsettled.
"How," he said slowly, "do you know all that?"
"I read. A lot. And I'm very good at connecting information." You met his eyes. "I know things about you that even Batman doesn't know. I know about your first crimeâthe one you got away with when you were seventeen. I know about the girlfriend who left you right before the accident. I know about the deal you made with Falcone in 1989 that you've kept secret ever since."
"Youâ" His face was doing something complicated. The grin was gone, replaced by something almost human. Almost vulnerable. "You can'tâyou shouldn'tâ"
"I'm not going to tell anyone," you said. "Your secrets are safe with me. I'm just saying... I know things. And I don't think the whole hostage situation is really your style anymore. You've evolved past that. You're more interested in the psychological game now, right? The chaos? Hostages are so 1990s."
Joker laughed. It started small and built to something manic. "Oh, you're good. You're really good. Batman didn't send you, did he?"
"Batman doesn't know I'm here. Neither does anyone else yet. They will soonâI activated my tracker when your guys grabbed meâbut right now, it's just us."
"And you're not scared of me."
"I'm appropriately cautious. But no, not really scared." You paused. "You're a man who fell into a vat of chemicals and came out changed. You've built an entire persona around chaos and unpredictability. But underneath it all, you're still just a person. A very damaged, very dangerous person, but a person."
For a long moment, Joker just looked at you.
Then he started laughing again, but this time it was different. Less manic, more genuine.
"Oh, Batsy is going to HATE you," he said, delighted. "You're completely fearless and entirely too smart for your own good." He released your arm, stepping back. "You know what? Go. Just walk out. Thisâ" He gestured around. "âisn't fun anymore. You've ruined it by being interesting."
"So I can just... leave?"
"You were never really in danger. Well, maybe a little. I hadn't decided yet." He waved dismissively. "But now I'm bored and you're creepy and I need to deal with Dennis the traitor. So shoo."
You started backing toward the door. "This is the weirdest kidnapping I've ever been in."
"How many have you been in?"
"Just this one, but still. Weird."
"Get out before I change my mind!"
You made it about three blocks before the Batmobile pulled up and Bruce practically fell out of it.
"Are you hurt? Did heâwhat happenedâ"
"I'm fine. Joker let me go."
Bruce stopped. "He what?"
"Let me go. We had a conversation. It was educational."
"You had a CONVERSATION with the JOKER?"
"NO, that is NOT NORMALâ"
The rest of the family pulled up in various vehicles. Dick practically tackled you in a hug. Jason was doing a perimeter check. Tim was scanning you for injuries. Damian was glowering at the warehouse like he could set it on fire with his mind.
"What happened?" Dick demanded. "We got your tracker signal, we were on our wayâ"
"Joker kidnapped me. We talked. He let me go." You frowned. "Also, he has a mole in his organization. You might want to look into that."
"You TALKED to him?" Tim looked somewhere between horrified and impressed. "What did you talk about?"
"His government name, mostly. And his childhood. And his career trajectory." You paused. "He seems like he's going through something. Very unstable. More than usual."
"She KNOWS HIS GOVERNMENT NAME?" Jason's voice had gone up significantly.
"It's in the archivesâ"
"Not very well," you pointed out.
Bruce made a sound like a teakettle about to explode.
"Also," you added, "I told him about the mole. And his mother's name. And his fear of bats. He didn't seem happy about that last one."
"You told the Joker we know his secret identity?" Bruce's voice was very, very calm. Which was more terrifying than yelling.
"I mean, you didn't know it. I knew it. So technically I told him that I know his secret identity." You thought about it. "Does that make it better or worse?"
"WORSE," everyone said simultaneously.
"Oh. Well, in my defense, it did get him to let me go without any violence, so tactically it was soundâ"
"No," Bruce said. "No, we're going home. We're having a very long discussion about information security, tactical decisions, and why you should NEVER NEGOTIATE WITH THE JOKER."
"I mean, it worked thoughâ"
On the drive back to the manor, squished between Dick and Tim in the back of the Batmobile, you reflected that maybe you should have played up the damsel in distress thing more.
But where was the fun in that?
The "very long discussion" turned into more of a family intervention.
"You can't just TELL villains their secret identities!" Tim was pacing. He'd been pacing for twenty minutes.
"Why not? He already knew I knew things. It established credibility."
"It established that you're INSANE," Jason said, but he was grinning. "I mean, I respect it. But you're insane."
"The Joker is not someone you negotiate with," Bruce said for the fourth time. "He's unpredictable, violent, and extremely dangerousâ"
"Yes, but he's also dramatic and appreciates a good psychological play. I read his profile." You were sitting on the Batcave's medical cot, having been forced to submit to Alfred's examination despite being completely uninjured. "He responds to intellectual challenge. So I challenged him."
"By telling him you know his deepest secrets," Dick said slowly. "Which, okay, definitely a power move, but also INCREDIBLY RISKY."
"THIS TIME," Bruce said loudly. "It worked this time. Next time, he might decide to kill you instead of being impressed."
"Then I won't get kidnapped next time."
"THAT'S NOT THE SOLUTIONâ"
"Master Bruce," Alfred interrupted calmly, "perhaps we should focus on the fact that the young miss is safe and unharmed, rather than the methods she employed to achieve that state."
"Alfred, she told the Joker his government nameâ"
"Which you didn't know," you pointed out. "So really, I gathered intelligenceâ"
"BY TELLING A SUPERVILLAIN YOU'VE BEEN INVESTIGATING HIM!"
"When you put it that way, it sounds bad.
Damian, who'd been silent up until now, spoke up. "I find her tactics sound. Psychological warfare is a valid strategy."
"However," he continued, "employing such tactics without backup or extraction plan was foolish. Next time, inform someone of your strategy before implementing it."
"There won't BE a next time," Bruce said firmly.
"Statistically unlikely," you said. "I live with vigilantes. The kidnapping rate is probably going to be higher than average."
Jason was laughing again. "Oh man, B, she's got you there."
"It's a little funny," Dick said. "I mean, she outplayed the Joker in a psychological game. That's kind of impressive."
"It's terrifying," Tim corrected. "She's seventeen and she made the Joker uncomfortable enough to let her go. Do you know how insane that is?"
"I prefer to think of it as effective communication," you said.
Bruce sat down heavily in his chair, looking about twenty years older than he had that morning. "We need rules. Clear, explicit rules about acceptable behavior."
"I follow rules," you protested.
"You hacked our classified files."
"That's not against the rules. You never said I couldn't."
"Implications aren't rules, Bruce."
Dick was trying very hard not to laugh. Jason had given up and was openly cackling. Even Damian looked amused, though he was hiding it better.
"Okay," Bruce said, clearly trying to regain control of the situation. "New rule. No engaging with supervillains without explicit permission and backup."
"What counts as engaging?"
"Talking to them. Negotiating with them. Telling them their secret identitiesâ"
"Okay, but what if they kidnap me again? Am I allowed to talk then?"
"If you're kidnapped, your priority is escape, not conversationâ"
"The conversation facilitated the escapeâ"
"Okay, everyone out," Alfred said firmly. "Master Bruce needs a moment. And the young miss needs rest, despite her protests of being fine."
"You were kidnapped by a homicidal clown. You are going to your room, drinking the tea I prepare for you, and resting. Non-negotiable."
You knew better than to argue with Alfred. Nobody won arguments with Alfred.
As you headed upstairs, you could hear the family still debating in the Cave.
"We should train her properly," Dick was saying. "If she's going to be in these situations anywayâ"
"Bruce, she's already involved. Better to give her the tools to handle itâ"
"I was younger when I died," Jason pointed out, which shut everyone up real quick.
You kept walking. You'd let them figure it out.
In your room, you pulled out your laptop and added some notes to your personal files.
Joker responds to intellectual challenge. Uncomfortable when confronted with personal information, particularly pre-accident identity. Possible leverage for future encounters? Note: Do not mention to Bruce. He will have an aneurysm.
Also: Need to investigate the Falcone connection more. There's something there.
Alfred appeared with tea, as promised. "You gave them quite a fright."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry anyone."
"I know. But perhaps in the future, try to worry them slightly less?" His eyes twinkled. "Though I must admit, the image of you lecturing the Joker on his career trajectory is rather amusing."
"My dear, I've been managing this family for decades. It takes quite a lot to truly upset me." He set the tea down. "Though I would appreciate if you'd avoid being kidnapped in the future. It's terribly inconvenient."
"That's all I ask." He headed for the door, then paused. "For what it's worth, you did well. You kept your head, used your intelligence, and got yourself out safely. That's more than many could say."
After he left, you drank your tea and thought about the day's events.
You'd been kidnapped by the Joker. You'd psychologically outmaneuvered him. You'd walked away unscathed.
And you'd somehow managed to give the entire Batfamily a collective heart attack in the process.
All in all, a pretty average Tuesday.
Your phone buzzed. A message from an unknown number.
You're interesting. Let's not do this again. I prefer my chaos unpredictable. - J
You deleted the message and made a note to mention it to Barbara. Joker having your number was probably something they should know about.
But maybe not right now. Bruce was already stressed enough.
You'd tell them tomorrow.
"So," Stephanie said, sliding into the seat next to you in the Manor's library, "I heard you made the Joker so uncomfortable he just let you go."
"You're a legend now. 'The Girl Who Psyched Out the Joker.' It's got a ring to it." She grinned. "Tim's still not over it, by the way. You solved his case AND outsmarted his nemesis in the same month."
"The Joker is Batman's nemesis, not Tim'sâ"
"Semantics." She pulled out her phone. "Also, you're trending on the dark web. Villains are taking bets on how long you survive."
"That's Gotham." She showed you the forum. "You've got pretty good odds, actually. Lots of money on 'she'll talk her way out of anything.'"
You scrolled through the comments. Most were some variation of impressed or terrified. A few were planning to test you themselves.
"I should probably tell Bruce about this."
"Probably. He's going to love it." Steph's grin widened. "So, when are you joining the team officially?"
"Uh, the Bat team? The vigilante squad? The family business?"
"Yet. Give it time." She stood up. "For what it's worth, I think you'd be great at it. You've already got the most important skill."
"Driving Bruce crazy while somehow making him proud at the same time." She winked. "That's practically the family motto."
After she left, you went back to your book. But you couldn't focus.
Because maybe Steph had a point. Maybe you were already part of this, whether you'd planned to be or not.
You'd solved their cases. You'd survived a Joker kidnapping. You'd somehow become part of the family dynamic.
And honestly? You kind of liked it.
Even if you did give them all heart attacks on a regular basis.
Especially because of that, actually.
After all, what was family for if not shared chaos and collective anxiety?
Your phone buzzed again. The family group chat that Dick had added you to.
Dick: Family movie night! Mandatory attendance!
Tim: I'm working on a caseâ
Dick: MANDATORY
Jason: I'm dead. Can't attend.
Dick: You're literally texting from the Manor right now
Jason: My ghost is texting. Very tragic.
Damian: This is frivolous.
Dick: MANDATORY FAMILY BONDING
You: What movie?
Dick: See? She gets it!
Bruce: I have workâ
Dick: ESPECIALLY mandatory for you, B
Alfred: I'll prepare popcorn.
Dick: Alfred is the only one who understands family values
You smiled and put your phone away.
Yeah. You could get used to this.
Even if it meant occasionally getting kidnapped by clowns and giving the world's greatest detective a stress migraine.
Maybe especially because of that.
After all, you'd always preferred chaos to boredom.
And this family? They had chaos in spades.