i have a thing for that

Easy. Puffins.

they are just more colourful than their goth cousins

Easy. Puffins.

they are just more colourful than their goth cousins

Easy. Puffins.

they are just more colourful than their goth cousins

Easy. Puffins.

they are just more colourful than their goth cousins

Easy. Puffins.

they are just more colourful than their goth cousins

All the tumbling breeds have those... tumbles and we're not sure why or how. Parlor breeds are actively bred with weak, underdeveloped muscles in their wings, which is the issue.

(in all seriousness i have weak underdeveloped muscles and i have rolled down my stairs three times this month alone)

So to start off

1. I am a meta human

And

2. I live in Gotham

So yk it’s gonna be wack

So it was like 11 days ago I was goofing around on the inter-web and I get a call from my school (bare with me) and at this moment Im

Scared as fuck

Because my enemy-ish (let’s call him David) recently found out that I was a meta human and you know that’s not good because of you know

shit ton of discrimination

and so I’m freaking out because I know for a fact David fucking told them something he told like the higher-ups at my college something or other so I am panicking. Don’t want to pick up the phone I do obviously because I’m not stupid

So I pick up the phone and the guy starts and is like “hey thare are some rumours going around campus,” and he’s doing this in like a really annoying way “and so we just wanted to call you in for meeting at *insert college name* and we wanted to talk to you about it to clear everything up” and so I’m in like shock because like

Oh no I’m going to lose my scholarship the school is going to kick me out oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck!!!

So I do the most reasonable thing I can think of:

I call Bruce wane

It sounds fucking ridiculous but I went\go to school with like two of his kids

And so I call up Mr.wane and I’m like

“There gonna expel me what do I do what do I do what do I do!!!!?!!!!” And he gets really confused cause like

He pays for my scholarship (bless this man frfr)

And so he’s confused on how thay could just kick me out because my tuition is fully paid and so I explain that they surprisingly care about the Discrimination more than the money because they are assholes

And he asks why they Would do that and I have no clue and so he’s like “I don’t know how to deal with this so sorry I have a Galla tonight and i takes a long time to do my hair” and so I’m like “fine yeah whatever” but than my lord and saviour Bruce wane is like “but I can hand you off to Mr.fox” and I am like thank god so he transfers the call

And so me and Mr.fox talk for a long time maybe an hour or so and he’s like “I strongly advise you to bring a lawyer, a family member and some who can verify your not a danger to the community” and I’m like “thank you thank you thank you” and then I’m like fuck fuck fuck fuck

Because if you don’t know

1. I am an orphan

2. I can’t hold a job because of my meta human status and I’m ✨disabled✨

3. I am not mentally sound and spent three years at Arkham

So that’s means i have no money, no family and no way that anyone would see me ‘safe to the community’ and so I sit I’m my apartment for like two days thinking and dreading my meeting with the college board

And then it comes to me:

I am not just a meta-human

I am a meta human ✨with connections✨

So I do a vary smart thing and I call my sister

The thing about my sister is that if you have followed my blog you will know

1. She’s my quarter-sister not my half-sister

2. Her girlfriend is fond of me and a certified psychologist

3. She has connections with a vary high ranking lawyer

4. That lawyer has connections to a high ranking professor that worked at my college

The thing is

The thing is!!!!!!

My quarter-sister is poison Ivy

Her girlfriend is Harley Quinn

The lawyer is two face

And the professor is scarecrow

You see where I’m going with this

I have plant-centric abilities

I also have a pollen allergy

so my powers work up and my allergies act up and than I

✨pass out from air loss✨

Because my esophagus has closed up from the pollen

And than I wake up at ivy’s house with gas mask and an epipen

We talk for a bit and come to a conclusion that:

We get Gotham Rogues to represent me in front of the college board 

And so now I was sitting in my quarter-sisters safe house living room while her girlfriend makes me a sandwich and she calls her super-villain bffs

And than i turn on the tv and it says that a college apartment building has been closed due to interference from poison ivy

And I’m like:

Oh shit that’s my apartment building they are going to find out and shove me back in Arkham and so I -drum roll please!:

Pass out again

And so like two days go by and it’s time for the meeting and I get my little smart guy outfit on and so does ivy and Harley and we go and pick up the others and I’m like: !wow! yk cus I’m in a car with Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, two face and scarecrow on a trip to politely beg my college not to suspend me for being genetically altered by my father

And so we arrive and the school has started emergency procedures and so we have to break in because Harley is “not letting you(me) get run out of phycology just becoming some rich college assholes don’t trust you to keep your temper” and so we get in and the assistant/desk person is hiding under his desk (the same asshole who called me to come in, In The first place!!!) and we just sit in the office and wait for them to call us in

So I’m sitting there vary embarrassed and vary regretting my decision

And then I hear the clunk clunk of armoured boots it’s the fucking Batman I know because everyone tenses up

He walks in bat-a-rangs dawn scary as fuck looking

And he looks them up and down all wearing professional atier

And than he spots me sitting in the middle of them

And just so you know I am wearing

A tweed pant and vest combo with a white Dress shirt and a little red bow tie

But above all else a am wearing a heavy duty gas mask because ivy has like a force-field of pollen radiating off of her

And so batman walks in on four Gotham rogues with me in sitting in the middle looking like a new villain every one is silently panicking

The Batman crouches down in front of me and says “can you tell me what’s going on?” And I’m freaking out because I am literally in the ihdbmc (I hate Batman club) but he is subverting my expectations and so I look over to Mr.dent because Batman is basically a cop and I know you shouldn’t talk to a cop without a lawyer and so I look over to him and he nods and so I’m like “I um- were hear for a meeting”

And he straightens up “can you take of the mask please” and he’s using manners so im vary confused and so I just say no

Like a dumbass

And at this he gets on hard again and is like”why?” And so i just respond “I’m allergic” like that clears any thing up

He takes out the fucking coin

So he flips it it lands on tails and he gives me the go ahead and I’m like “wow I have a wonderful taste in lawyers” and so me and the Batman go out in to the hall

And I take of the gas mask and the look on his face when he saw me was like a mix of disappointment and sadness

And like I know I’m ugly but like come on man it’s a skin condition I can’t use any products on the green parts or i brake out

And so he’s like “why are you consorting with villains” and I respond with “I already told you I have a meeting” and he’s like “for what” and so i explain everything about Mr.fox’s advisory and how I’m an orphan and etc and he just gives me a look walks back in to the office and than in to deans office comes back and tells us to go home pats me on the back and tells me he took care of it and asks if I need a ride home

And I’m like

What the fuck

Because like

He’s nice?!??!??!

And so I get a ride home to my apartment (it got cleaned from all the plants and the time I was at ivy’s house) in the fucking Batmobile

The end