moved!

this  should  have  been  anticipated   ------   the promised crash after such a searing high ; collateral accounted for the previous night’s poor judgement . perpetrators both , but still the words cut like glass . he knew what would happen when he ran a palm over those jagged edges of gold , knew he would come away bleeding . it is the same , wretched scar torn open again , just as he’d hoped ; another raw reminder of what was , a tender scab to pester pink once he’s inevitably shoved out the door . corpse long lost in tar clawed to the surface again and immediately he regrets ever considering that something may have shifted between them   [   naive thinking , really , trying to resurrect such a thing   ]   .   it’s a lesson never learned , an inexplicable drive to always return   -------   two opposites surely magnetised and now he’s convinced he’s the only one who’d felt its pull . jaw wants to wire itself shut , bite back the venom threatening to spit burning and acidic , but he’s unnerved , confidence flayed , feeling small .

   ❛❛   i kissed you back because we were drunk , too . i thought there would be no consequences .   ❜❜   

THE   CREATURE   TEETERS   ON  THE   EDGE ,   walking   a   thin   line   between   calm   and   tense.   His   body   would   say   he’s   being   attacked,   drawing   more   adrenaline   through   his   veins   and   awakening   something   more   uncontrollable.   Yet   his   mind   knows   it’s   anything   but,   the   fight   is   over,   though   he   wears   the   proof   of   it   all   over   his   body.

      “   Yeah?   well,   I   have   faith   you   c’n   get   me   patched   up   no   matter   how   many   pieces   I   come   back   in.   ”   A   pause,   thick   swallow   and   he   tastes   gore   lingering   in   his   mouth,   a   short   burst   of   adrenaline   through   his   systems. 

      “   M’sturdy,   n’you   know   what   t’do.   Don’t   worry,   your   wrecking   ball   idn’t   goin   anywhere.   ”   

And   in   spite   of   every   instinct   that   told   him   to   recoil,   told   him   not   to,   he   reaches   out.   Calloused,   still   clawed   hand   brushes   over   the   doctor’s   skin   so   carefully.   A   gentle   squeeze   and   it   lingers   there,   perhaps   for   a   moment   or   two   too   long.   And   maybe   it   was   the   bloodloss   making   in   delirious   and   unable   to   shield   himself   as   he   would   normally,   or   maybe   it   was   something   much   softer   bubbling   up   to   the   surface   to   instill   some   form   of   comfort   to   Connor.

there’s  no  attempt  to  hide  it   ------   how warmth blooms , lip tugging into that familiar lopsided smile . a thirty - two - year - old reserve , decanted into those dimples as it graces him , rarer than gold . only for those beastly eyes , this , and the cotton - soft breath of a chuckle as he works only saved for those tufted , animalic ears . 

shrug expresses itself subtle how head tilts in somewhat semi - agreement .    ❛❛   maybe you are , and as much as i have absolute confidence in your wrecking - ball - capabilities ,  ❜❜       a break , conversation tapering as hook twists into muscle , pulls delicately at the thread .    ❛❛   and   ---   to a certain degree   ---   my own surgical skills . . . . . .  ❜❜       it spears the meat again , then tugs , wire drawn through crimson gossamer .

the intention is not to chide , yet words tumble forward , an admission of his own fear before he is able to stop them , incapable of welding his own mouth shut   [   love is too raw for that , too near the surface .   ]    ❛❛   . . . . . . you perforate a bowel , or something , and we're done for . i don’t know how to fix something like that   ------    ❜❜      

hairs prickle through the ghosting of clawed digits , gooseflesh of the most pleasant sort pebbling skin like orange rind . all at once those concerns palliate , sudden calmness awashing   [   safe , and safer still . this is the most dangerous kind of vulnerability   ]   ,   fingers spreading taut that rough ribcage skin daring to leave , press his own reassurance over wide and knotted wrist .

❛❛  why do you think i wanted them?      practically crystallized blood,  are they not?   but  of  course..  i’m  the  bad  guy  when  i  steal  them.   you can take  whatever  you want.   ❜❜   vicious  cycle,  bloated tongues purple from maggots and rot.   soft,  dark  spots  ripening on flesh;  marbling like fruit.   gone  bad,  too  many  hands  squeezing  and  touching,  everyone else’s hands inside of her.   bruise  me,  break  me.

she’d  bleed  out,  stain diamonds  crimson  to be  freed  from this.   fruity  ripe  flesh,  she is.   forcing her way into people’s mouths and  begging  to be devoured.   the  demand  to be harmed,  jamming fingers into fresh scabs and peeling open old scars.   an effortless death it would be:   bleeding out in his bed,  broken limbs and guts splayed out for the world to see.   how  easy,  how  romantic.     ❛❛  you’re right.   i deserve your  disgusting,  unbecoming  body  but not that.   you can  rot  inside of me,  press yourself  deep  between my flesh but i’m too corrosive for gold.  ❜❜

clustered saliva,  body detached.   how  easy —— how  easy  it  is  to  fall  back.   discolouration lining her skin,  cracking open her hips to burrow into the rich marrow of her bone.   [blood boiling and bubbling from her lips,   “open  my  thighs  when  you  do it.   i’m  your  baby,  your  feral  bitch.”   swollen tongue,  black and blue.   ragged nails pouring into open wounds,  nicking at capillaries and arteries alike.   “how  cute…   you  know  the  ugly  trail  i  left  behind  but  not  the  one  that  made  me.”]

❛❛  i’m  cheap  and  filthy ——  ❜❜     curled into him,  tender & tucked into the  curve  of  his  arm,  pressed against his chest.   illusion of  romance,  easily mistaken by prying eyes.   i  want  you  to  tear  me  apart.   poking and prodding,  like digging fingers into joints to separate flesh from bone.   glittered medusa with a mouth and eyes of tears,  wrenched and wrecked joints,  tiredness settled in.   [bile  in  her  throat,  fleshy,  bloody  and  eaten  by  rats.   popping  fingers  from  sockets  bent  back,  terror-filled  screeches;  some  feral  wounded  animal —— “this  is  what  love  is,  get  used  to  it.”   her neck  nearly  cracked itself].

mouth fulled with honey,  i  know  what’s  important  about  me.   nails  grazing  the leather of his belt,  cheek  nuzzled  against his chest.     ❛❛  ———  but  you  want  me  anyways.   you like me like that.   you want me  impure  and debauched.   i’m your  used  bitch.   you’ve taken  so  much  from me.   my agency,  my legacy ———  my  revenge.   but yet,  you know exactly what you’ll find between my thighs tonight.   and i’ll give it to you.   every fucking disgusting part of me,  all my overripe organs and spoiled blood.   you want me festering and sour?   you want my open thighs and wounds?   take it.  ❜❜

    ❛❛   i  always  take  what  i  want   ,   darling , you know that . you’re simply my favourite scapegoat   ------   and the entire universe wants a piece of you for it .    ❜❜       purred as a lock of dark hair twists around a finger ; this way , that . instinctively possessive , sickly apple seed conceiving cyanide with mucus and gastric acid as it’s swallowed down a sugar - pill . an easy death to become of it , romantic and fantastical spun a giddy literacy and he wonders how many seeds she’d feed him . how many it would take to die . 

ears flatten to skull as silver canines bare in a snarl , reaches that glinting ruby pupil , affection through the jagged metal sheets in twisted and lilac gumline .       ❛❛   ----   but  you’re  all  mine .  ❜❜       [   “  ---  and i’m all yours  ”   he would say , but it’s an expression oathed in blood , in a fractured tooth and split tongue . a cheek bitten to pulpy reverence . bone sits triple - screwed , and lovingly cared for , parade - like upon the iron maxilla ; puffy and so delicately raw . they flake rust into the saliva ducts .   ] 

he’s rotted himself , and they are two halves of the same wretched corpse , festering in the nuclear heat . bloating body fluid , mephitic , they both reek . frame mutant and half of it not his own , thorax void of what its supposed to keep and he wonders if she’d reach beneath that glass cage and crush the impostor to dust herself   (   and how the treacherous thing glows blue for her . how he’s sure she can see it , clicking and whirring beneath the flimsy linen . a fucking lighthouse beacon , on display like a freak show   )   .   lock of hair falls from grasp , then , and he lets those fingers wander to cloak hers where they hover , temptation rich to force her hand down and feel what she knows exists there ; yet he refrains . this isn’t the first time . it will not be the last . already , like a shot of morphine to assuage the bloodstream , his body finds itself craving her . 

    ❛❛   i’ll use an exploding round , next time . i’ll pick the ceramic shards out of you over dinner ; how would you like that metal poking around your insides , baby ?  ❜❜       saline drips , bitter - tasting but crucial to them , forced through the cephalic vein a poison powder scattered into the flesh of a fig as he talks , wasps devoured in sacrifice for the sweet meat . impossible to shake and he gravitates to her , always , inevitably , her nails transmogrified into talons stuck oozing into his own skin , shifting and writhing , pulling him apart .      ❛❛   i tell you what    ---   i’ll feed you your own liver , too , if you’d like that . or a kidney , since you can still live with only one of those .   ❜❜       then he leans , teeth sinking into the supple fat of her cheek , silver freezing even when encased in heat pulsing maw . they pull languid , allowing the flesh its lazy fall from canine grasp , its sudden bounce to return to form   (   and how her skin almost tears like paper under it   )   .      ❛❛   dog food for a fucking   bitch   ------   ❜❜   ------ metal palm   grabs !   her inner thigh , dangerous in its proximity to the apex , ------   ❛❛   ------   like you .  ❜❜      

and as swift as it arrival there , it’s gone . a vacant plane to gather dust as digits signal the bartender more of the same , please . raptor gaze doesn’t leave her once , voice syrupy , thick with his own need .