Making a game out of anxiety

I can never understand what you are going through, but if you need to talk I am here to listen.

What can I do to make your life easier?

Let me hold you.

I am here for you no matter what.

You deal with this however you need to, I’m not here to judge.

I know you’re not mad at me, just mad.

I’m here for you.

Explain to me what you go through each day so I can better understand.

Crisis Text Line (@crisistextline)

Crisis Text Line is free, 24/7 support. If you’re in crisis, please text 741741 from anywhere in the US. The Crisis Text Line will connect you with a trained Crisis Counselor. If you don’t need to use their services, consider signing up to be part of their services. All it takes to become trained in crisis counseling is a desire to listen and help others.

To Write Love on Her Arms (@twloha)

To Write Love on Her Arms started as a Myspace post. Since it took off, they’ve donated more than $1.5 million to treatment and recovery programs, granting funding to 73 different organizations and counseling practices. They have a pretty good repository for finding help, with listings easily found either by location or reason you’re seeking help.

The Trevor Project (@thetrevorproject)

The Trevor Project is one of the leading national organizations providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to LGBTQ+ youth. You can call their trained counselors at 1-866-488-7386, use TrevorText by texting “TREVOR” to 1-202-304-1200, or reach out via TrevorChat.

National Alliance on Mental Illness (@namiorg)

When it comes to making the world a better, more understanding place for mental health, NAMI (nearly) does it all. Across the US they educate to make sure people are getting the help they need, they advocate for public policy, and they listen. You can reach the NAMIHelpLine at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or [email protected].

It Gets Better (@itgetsbetterproject)

It Gets Better Project wants to create and inspire change for LGBTQ+ youth. While they do suggest hotlines to call for immediate help (like The Trevor Project), their primary objective is to spread the message that, well, it gets better.

I had a really hard time when I was first diagnosed with chronic illness. It came after years of mental illness, and I was angry, depressed, and scared. I had no idea that it was possible to have a good life while being sick or in pain, but slowly I found a life I could love. These are some things that helped me get there

Focus on things that make you happy now. Many people assume that they can’t have a good time until they are better Even if you have hope for improvement or recovery, don’t wait to get better to create a life that you enjoy. Make a list of things that you enjoy doing (or have never done but might enjoy) that you can do now, with your current abilities. Make a list of things that you find meaningful and can do now. Make a list of ways you can connect with people, now. Make a point to do these things. It might look different than it did before, but I promise it’s possible.

Keep an open mind about the future. None of the things I value most would have happened if I hadn’t gotten sick. My relationship with my family, the friends I have met through it, these blogs, my current job. When I first got sick all I saw were losses. I never could have imagined all the positive things that have come out of this. No matter whether you return to a certain level of ability or not, I promise you that your life can be worth living. Even if you can’t imagine what that might look like, try to find hope that it’s possible.

Remember that healthy is not normal. I understand why many people with chronic illness refer to healthy people this way, but there are as many paths in life as there are people. This type of thinking is isolating, it emphasizes loss, and it can prevent you from seeing new opportunities that might arise. Chronic illness can become your normal, and that’s not a bad thing. Embracing it as my normal helped me create a life that works for me instead of squeezing into old plans that no longer fit. Hank Green’s “new normal” video was a big inspiration to me, and I highly recommend watching it.

Limit the amount of time you spend thinking about the “old you.”Don’t search for proof that things were better or different before. For example, looking through a friend’s Facebook photos and thinking about all the things you can’t do, constantly saying/thinking things like “last year I was doing x, y, and z, and now I can’t,” or ruminating over what you thought your life would be like and measuring how it’s fallen short. It’s perfectly normal to be sad about this, and there is nothing wrong with that, but spending excessive time dwelling on the past is like picking at an emotional scab. Eventually you need to give yourself a chance to heal.

If your friends or family talks about your illness this way, or equates healthy with normal ask them to stop. This includes saying things like “I want my daughter back” or “I can’t wait until this is over and things are back to normal.” Your family did not lose you just because you got sick! You are alive, and you can have an awesome life even you are sick and/or disabled.

Separate physical illness and emotions. When I first got sick, I just assumed that being sick meant being sad. But that’s not true. The more you separate the two, the easier it will be. It helps me to think of my symptoms as a message from my body to my brain. Nothing more, nothing less. Once i was able to separate the physical from the emotional, my mood improved so much! In fact the past two years have been the sickest and the happiest of my life.

Connect with others who understand what you’re going through.Talking to others who are going through the same thing as I am has been so helpful. It gave me people who could relate and understand the problems I face, even just understand the language I use. It gave me people who I can hang out with, without feeling different or not being able to keep up. And I found role models, people who were living and thriving. Who found coping skills that worked and were happy to share.

yes. crutches are tools that help people do things more effectively and efficiently, just like meds, school/work accommodations, and everything else. there is nothing wrong with using crutches, and there’s nothing wrong with using other “crutches”. that’s not what’s being said here, though, and we all know it.

using “crutch” this way not only stigmatizes needing these other tools, but it stigmatizes having a physical disability and using crutches and other mobility aids.

Hey guys!  A friend of mine was diagnosed with EDS not too long ago, and now she’s doing some fundraising for various medical expenses and appointments by tee-springing this awesome shirt she designed!  

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It’s super cool and only $19.99+ (depending on which shirt you choose).

So if you want an awesome EDS shirt and to support a fellow EDSer- go buy one!!  You won’t regret it!!

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I wrote this handy dandy guide earlier this year to help people find therapy online, thought I’d share it here.