smile while you still have teeth...

honestly, open warning to anyone who sits beside me on a plane: I’m eating your ass immediately if we crash. I don’t have any religious hang ups. if we’re lost in the Andes in need of rescue, and I start to get a little hungry, I’m eating you. sorry.

staying up until 1am with your friends is like. wow we’re so fucking cool we’re so fucking badass we should go on a road trip or become famous or maybe hang out here forever because i dont wanna be anywhere that isnt with you guys im so full of love and joy and a live fast die young mentality. and staying up until 1am by yourself is like. for the third time this year i am genuinely contemplating suicide. good thing i dont have the executive function to clean up my room

being called "cringe" by another tumblr user is just so..............my sibling in christ u are also on the app

Before you mock the clown, take a look at thine own shoes

and pay particular attention to the shoelaces

not enemies-to-lovers or enemies-to-friends but a third thing (enemies to enemies-with-benefits)

"but they fall in love at the end" absolutely not, sex makes their relationship WORSE

A good game of string.. I see he's played before

it's time to start naming boys 'Evelyn' again. need to rebalance the ecosystem

Marion and Vivian are going to be jealous

the boys are fiiightiiiiiiiiiiiiiing

lying in front of the street cleaner

did the street cleaner believe you?

it is like talking to a fucking genie with you people

Today's high schoolers romanticizing 2016 as if there weren't the clown incidents

This isn't even a shit post that actually happened

I know I couldn't handle having kids but if I was left in charge of some, I'd take them to the park to feed ducks. Not bread though, you shouldn't feed that to ducks. We're feeding them lettuce. Let the ducks going apeshit over lettuce show the kids that lettuce is actually awesome. When they go home, their parents are baffled by the fact that the kids are now willingly eating salad. In the most horribly animalistic fucked up way possible.

discord is broken? tumblr is a cesspit? twitter is evil? join us on bleeble! talkr is free ^w^. all your friends are moving over to deadjournal. harassmeonline is open source and the devs only killed three people. nobodytalksforum has great moderators. poob's starting up an sms app. use poob. give poob your phone number. talk to me on poob. go to poob. dive into poob. poob has me for you. poob has me for you.