TV MEMES: True Blood (season 1) quotes 🩸🦇👄 ↳ Please feel free to tweak them etc.
Trigger/Content Warnings: blood references, drug use, sex references.
“Aren't you gonna tell me to be careful?” “Oh my God. You are a gigantic parody of yourself and you don't even know it.” “I'm an organic vegan and my carbon footprint is miniscule.” “Hundreds of years old and you're still a terrible liar!” “Guilt is a useless emotion. Or so I've heard.” “Wow. This place is even more depressing than I thought it'd be.” “I'm not the killer, I swear. I'm a shapeshifter.” “Why didn't you tell me you were going out with [ name ]?” “I know I've done it four other times, but it never gets old.” “I told you. It's better than sex.” “I'm sorry to break it to you, baby but you are not my only source for a good time.” “Take a break. It'll do you some good.” “If you wanna torture anyone, torture me!” “Withholding is tantamount to lying, and I can't have that in our relationship.” “Oh my god! You are still high.” “You want to drink the blood they collected?” “Well, I hate to break it to you but you're not even the most fucked up person in this house much less this town.” “Life is just getting too weird too fast.” “But you're not like them. You're better than they'll ever be.” “He's all charm and smiles in the beginning. But the second he gets tired of you, he gonna stop calling.” “I am not psychic!” “It keeps you alive, but it will bore you to death.” “Tell me, do you enjoy living halfway up his backside the way you do?” “Did he ask you to do it buck naked?” “It's like watching Animal Planet, yeah? Any second she's gonna bite his head off.” “Well, don't get too comfortable. It tends to get more authentic as the night wears on.” “They sleep, just not at night.” “Can I ask you a personal question?” “I tried to apologise for that but you wouldn't let me.” “I'm too damn pretty to go to prison.” “You don't wanna be on my bad side.” “Jesus Christ! I want to lick your mind.” “You left me alone with no promise to come back!” “You know, I was sitting in that jail, I just kept thinking about all the stupid stuff I've done.” “You're just about as subtle as a flying brick.” “We honour Gaea, and seek the deepest relationship to her.” “Every time I get a night off my babysitter falls through on me.” “Baby, you're sweet but you've gotta mellow out.” “They don't understand man. None of 'em will ever understand. You stay sharp, brother.” “Remind me why I hired you again.” “We started most of the myths about ourselves many centuries ago.” “Relax, this is not drugs, this is just a Valium.” “I can kill anybody I want and there's an awful lot of people I'd like to kill.” “He didn't show up tonight, he's not coming back.” “So I guess you've killed a lot of people.” “You need to let people see the real you. 'Cause you're kind and brave. There's nothin there not to love.” “Well, I'm sorry, [ name ], but it is against bank policy to extend a loan for an exorcism.” “So, who's good to eat around here?” “I think I lost the upper hand in the relationship.” “I find myself doubting whether you were ever truly human.” “You are way too good for him. You know that, right?” “He doesn't know anything, he didn't do anything and he doesn't give a shit.” “[ name ], you don't need any help lookin' like a fool.” “I'd do anything for you.” “I'm surrounded by assholes and morons!” “Are you sure? She's been glamoured one too many times already. Who's knows how much of her is left.” “What I am is telepathic. I can hear people's thoughts.” “Not every detail of everyone's personal life is your business, okay?” “Well, I didn't mean to hurt you. You gotta know that.” “I take it by your being here, there was no way around it then?” “No more rules… I'm a vampire!” “I thought you liked not knowing what I'm thinking.” “Vampires are always in some kind of trouble. I prefer to be in it with you.” “So, we can never sleep beside each other?” “Toss it. [ name ] don't need no bad juju cooking.” “Nothin' says I'm sorry like a tuna cheese cassarole.” “You might say that I'm lactose intolerant.” “There's no help for you, child” “Why am I the only person in this world that doesn't think that vampires are monsters?” “Actually, I'm the oldest person here.”












