gonzo-rella

Kara has a lot of questions when she sees you, your head in your hands as you suck in and puff out air with heartbreaking desperation. Your body trembles a little and your chest rapidly rises and falls, your heart hammering away from inside. She catches a glimpse of your eyes, which glimmer with tears and terror.

She wants to ask what’s going on, but she knows what’s going on, what’s happening to you, even if she’s only just finding out that this is something that happens to you. It seems redundant to ask. But, she means it more broadly. As panicked and helpless as you look, something tells her this isn’t your first panic attack. Maybe it’s the half-empty glass of water sitting on the table in front of you that someone wouldn’t think to grab if they weren’t used to this by now. So, she wonders: why did you never tell her? She also wants to ask what you need, what she can do to help. But, you’re in no state to talk.

She doesn’t stand there thinking for long. She kneels in front of you, cautious not to touch you in case it makes it worse. She sees a flicker of extra panic as you cut a glance at her, like you’ve been caught doing something wrong. When you look at her, she meets you with a soft, warm, slightly saddened gaze.

“I’m here, okay?” she says. “I’m here.”

You give a slight, frantic nod.

She holds her hand out to you, not sure what to do with it or where to put it, or if she should put it anywhere near you at all for that matter. You thread your quivering fingers through hers and she steadies your hand in an instant. She doesn’t care that your palm is a little sweaty against hers.

Your breathing gradually slows down. She picks up the glass of water and hands it to you as she sits beside you this time. You take a sip from it.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asks. Her tone isn’t harsh or accusatory but genuine.

“I don’t know,” you say with a shrug. “I don’t like telling people, I guess.”

“Even me?”

“Especially you. You’ve dealt with enough shit. I don’t want to be more shit for you to deal with.”

Your words cause a pang in her chest. You take another sip of water and set the glass back down on the table. She thinks for a second before she speaks.

“You’re not ‘more shit’ to me. Being with you isn’t dealing with you. And, sure, it sucked to see you like that, but I want to be there when you need me. I don’t want you to go through it alone.”

Kara’s hand hovers by your cheek. You lean into her touch.

“You feeling any better?” she asks.

You nod and force a weak smile. “Yeah. Thanks.”

She smiles too. She pulls you closer and presses a kiss to your temple.

Johnny is the first to ask, “So, you’re not dating, but they’re more than a friend?”

It’s not malicious or condescending. 

He’s just trying to figure it out because he’s not really heard of any relationships like yours.

Once it’s all cleared up, he’s like, “Cool. I’m happy for you.”

That said, it takes him a while to figure out what to say and how to talk about your relationship.

If you had a romantic partner, he’d have relished teasing you about them to no end.

But, since they’re not your romantic partner… what does he say, y’know? What can he say?

He will be delighted if he can convince your partner to join forces with him to make fun of you.

Either way, he’ll make an effort to be friendly to them and make them feel part of the family.

Ben is pretty quick to understand your relationship, but he probably still has some questions that he keeps to himself.

It’s nothing intrusive or malicious.

Rather, he recognises that, with how out of the realm of ‘normal’ your relationship is considered, asking too many questions might make you feel even more scrutinised than you already do.

He knows what it’s like to not feel normal and to feel scrutinised.

All of his questions probably get answered over time, anyway, without him needing to ask.

So, he does everything he can to make sure you know that he supports you and he’ll fight your corner if anyone makes you feel like you or your relationship is weird.

And, he treats your partner with the same level of respect and understanding.

I feel like Reed also understands your relationship pretty much right away, once you’ve explained it to him.

He might be accused of being a little emotionally distant at times but he’s still compassionate.

He understands how you might feel given that your relationship is considered abnormal, even if that’s far from the case.

I feel like one of the ways he’d show support is by giving examples of ‘unconventional’ relationships throughout history, with hopes that you’ll feel validated.

And, he’ll tell you that he’s happy for you, which he really is.

Of the Four, Sue finds it the easiest to understand your relationship.

She understands that love is vast and complex with how it is felt and expressed.

And, beyond that, she sees how happy you are and it brings her so much joy to see.

She’s the most open with how she expresses her support and she makes sure that you know that she supports you and your relationship.

She doesn’t go overboard with it but she’ll ask about your partner and show an interest in them.

They’re important to you so they’re important to her.

She also makes sure that your partner feels welcome when she meets them, like they’re a part of the family.

Of course, all of them are supportive of you and your relationship.

Kara doesn’t overthink your relationship.

She cares deeply about you and you care deeply about her.

That’s all that matters.

When you get closer to her and she wholeheartedly trusts you, she’ll tell you about where she’s from.

Thankfully you don’t think she’s lost her mind.

It will take her a while to fully open up about her feelings around her past, and she’s grateful for your patience even if she doesn’t say it outright.

She doesn’t mind telling you about her intergalactic adventures, but it can be a little awkward to talk about because, y’know, a lot of that was fuelled by her drinking copious quantities of alcohol to escape her trauma and sense of alienation.

When she tells Clark about you, he tries and fails to hide his excitement. 

He asks if the two of you are dating, if she wants to date you or if you want to date her.

It takes Kara explaining your relationship for Clark to fully understand it. 

Either way he was always going to be supportive.

He’s glad that Kara has someone on Earth that she feels connected to — in whatever way that is.

(He’s dying to meet you but he tries to be normal about it as best he can. But, come on. Of course he wants to meet his cousin’s favourite person).

After her conversation with Clark, though, she will ask you outright, ‘Hey, so, what are we exactly?’

It’s not out of insecurity but because she wants you both to be on the same page.

She’s happy with things as they are, and so are you.

You can choose to label it or not.

She doesn’t find it too awkward to ask you about your boundaries or laying out hers, but it does take a bit for her to get used to being vulnerable.

But, you’re one of the few people she’s comfortable being truly vulnerable around.

She doesn’t introduce you to Krypto before she tells you the truth about her home planet because it’d probably look a little weird if her dog randomly started flying.

But, once she tells you, she’s so excited to introduce him to you.

(Clark is completely jealous that Krypto gets to meet you before he does but he won’t admit that).

Krypto adores you and it means so much to Kara to see the two of you get along.

She’s a little hesitant to let you watch him without her around because she knows how strong he is compared to you.

She tries to train him to go easy on you, to mixed results.

If he trashes your home, she’ll stay up until everything’s back in order and she’ll refuse your help when you offer it (it’s her way of apologising).

She has a framed photo of you and Krypto and it’s her favourite possession.

Because of you, she’ll leave Earth less and less.

She loves being introduced to things by you.

Even if it’s not always interesting to her, she can’t help but find it charming seeing how much you care and how much it means to you.

Little by little she starts to see the beauty of Earth because you live there.

“Do you ever feel like you’re gonna die alone, Guy?”

With your cheek smushed against a couch cushion, your question came out muffled. Guy’s brow furrowed.

“Are you kidding? Look at me.”

He gestured to himself.

“So, is that…”

“Very funny! I’ll have you know there’s 348 chicks, dudes and the rest who would—”

You rolled over so that you were facing the back of the couch. Guy tilted his head. You should’ve made a snarky comment about how it was weird that he’d kept count of how many people he’d screwed. But, no such remark ever came. Instead, all you had to offer was a deflated, “Whatever.”

“What’s up with you? You, uh, get dumped or something.”

Too caught up in feeling sorry for yourself, you didn’t notice the puzzling hint of… something in his voice. It was tentative — uneasy, even. Had you paid attention, though, there’s a good chance you still wouldn’t have picked up on it, nor would you have understood what it was.

“I’ve not been seeing anyone. There’s no need to rub it in.”

“Jeez, relax. I don’t know or care about what you do in your spare time.”

“Yeah, no one does. That’s why I’m dying alone.”

He pursed his lips, before deciding not to be a total dick this time. Even if you were being kinda an asshole to him, he knew something was up and he didn’t want to kick you while you were down. This wasn’t your usual back-and-forth. He couldn’t remember ever seeing you like this before. He didn’t like to admit it but it made his chest ache just a little. Maybe he cared; he told himself it was pity.

“Come on. You’re not… that bad.”

Your head whipped around and you shot him an indignant glare.

“I never said I was!”

He blinked in surprise. Uh oh. Had he already fucked this up?

“So, this isn’t one of those things where you hate yourself and I’m supposed to tell you that you’re not the least bearable person I know?”

“I don’t hate myself!” you said, though he didn’t know if you really meant it. “Do you think I should?”

“I just told you. You’re not that bad. There are worse people out there.”

You sat up and fully faced him.

“Okay. I’ll bite. Who do you think’s worse than me?”

“Fine, well, let’s see… Lex Luthor. Uh… I guess Terrific’s kind of a dick. Genghis Khan did some fucked up shit. Hitler, obviously. There? Happy now?”

“I don’t think Terrific’s on the same level as Lex Luthor, Genghis Khan and Hitler, Guy.”

“I never said he was. I just… like you better than him.”

“Really?”

“By a narrow margin, yeah.”

You folded your arms.

“Is the margin a little wider between me and Lex Luthor?”

“Of course. You’re an asshole, but you’re not a totally evil narcissist.”

“That has to be the nicest thing you’ve ever said about me.”

The way you said it… it sounded sincere, like it meant something to you. God knows why but it did.

He cleared his throat and rubbed his neck, averting his gaze.

“Yeah, well, I’m not a totally evil narcissist either.”

That was your cue to come back with ‘debatable’, or one of your kinda clever, kinda dumb retorts. But, once again, it never came. When he stole a glance at you, you were staring at him. His breath caught in his throat. His heart hammered away in his chest. It panicked him so much that it may as well have been a heart attack.

“You’re, uh—You’re good now, right?” he asked.

You blinked, suddenly aware that you were staring at him. Heat pooled in your cheeks.

“Oh, yeah. I’m good. Thanks. You can, um—”

“Yeah. I’ll just… go now.”

He gestured to the nearest exit with his thumb and hurried away. You lay back down and buried your burning face into a cushion. The same thought entered your minds at the same time:

Kara can tell that something’s wrong. If only her x-ray vision allowed her to see what was rattling around in that head of yours. She watches you closely, like she’s searching for something.

“You’re not looking at my bones again, are you?” you ask, breaking the silence.

She breathes out a laugh, then says, “Why do I get the feeling you’re not telling me something?”

You tense and squirm in your seat. You avoid her gaze. Meanwhile, her own becomes more intense. She’s not shooting glowing red beams from her eyes but that’s how it feels.

“I’m fine.”

“I never said you weren’t fine. But, now, it sounds like you’re not fine. So…”

You shrug.

“It’s nothing, really.”

“Doesn’t seem like nothing.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

She cocks her head to the side.

“So, which is it? You’re fine, it’s nothing, or it doesn’t matter?”

“Take your pick.”

A wry smile tugs at her lips.

“Come on. Talk to me.”

You steal a glance at her.

“You don’t wanna hear about my boring Earth problems.”

“Of course I do. Lay them on me.”

You sigh.

“Look… it wouldn’t feel right complaining about my life when… y’know…”

She presses her lips into a thin line and shakes her head.

“Nope. I don’t know.”

“I mean, with all you’ve been through, why would any of my shit matter? You’d think it’s all stupid, right?”

At that, she grabs you by the shoulders and you feel compelled to meet her gaze.

“Because, you matter. And, just because… my shit sucks, it doesn’t mean your shit doesn’t suck, too, and it doesn’t mean I don’t get how hard it is for you.”

She sees the hesitation in your eyes and gives one of your shoulders a squeeze. Concern is etched into her features, as much as she tries to fight it.

“I mean it. If something's up, I wanna know. Whatever it is. I’m here for you. Got that?”

You nod. Tears build in your eyes.

Love is Understanding [bi!Benedict Bridgerton x nonbinary!reader]

It should be simple: Benedict Bridgerton is in love with you, and you are in love with him. But, you have a secret, one that you believe threatens your chance at a happily ever after with the only man you’ve ever loved.

Incongruence [Eloise Bridgerton x nonbinary!reader]

Amidst an identity crisis, you confide in Eloise.

Compatibility [asexual!Abed Nadir x asexual!reader]

Annie accidentally lets a secret slip, meaning you have to confront feelings you’ve always tried to ignore. NOTE: I wrote this when I was 16, so this one probably has the worst writing of anything on this list. Still, it's a fic I really like, despite, say, the clunky prose.

Being Nonbinary in the Study Group (Community)

What I Am and What You Are [The Captain x queer!reader; platonic]

When you realise that you’re not as confident in your identity as you’d have yourself and everyone else believe, you’re surprised when the Captain is the one you end up confiding in.

Being the Nonbinary Wilkerson Sibling (Malcolm in the Middle)

(I might have predicted the future with this one; I wrote this before the revival came out)

Being the Nonbinary (Second) Youngest Pritchett Sibling (Modern Family)

Your Dad, Jay, Finally Accepting You, His Nonbinary Child (Modern Family)

Not-A-Woman [Arnold Rimmer x AFAB!nonbinary!reader]

Who would have known that Arnold Judas Rimmer wasn’t so bad at the whole ‘counselling’ thing after all?

Being Alexis Rose’s Trans Boyfriend 

Alexis Rose, David Rose and Stevie Budd with a Nonbinary S/O

Being Roland and Jocelyn Schitt's Trans/Nonbinary Kid

Not A Girl, Or Anything, Really [nonbinary!Phoebe Spengler; nonbinary!reader; platonic]

In the midst of a gender crisis, Phoebe confides in you.

Being Wallace Wells’ Trans Boyfriend

Being Nonbinary and a Thunderbolt*

Progress [John Walker x nonbinary!reader]

John Walker is getting there. Slowly but surely, he’s making progress.

Acceptance [asexual!Jimmy Olsen x asexual!reader]

You and Jimmy have been on a few dates now. He decides it’s time to tell you something important. Based on past experiences, he’s afraid that it’s a dealbreaker.

You’re Still You [bi!Cameron Frye x genderfluid!reader]

Cameron has had a crush on you for years, but will your admission be enough to change that? (spoiler alert: no)

You’re Still You [bi!Cameron Frye x nonbinary!reader]